Happy Anniversary to me

[gowalking 10,790]

This time a year ago, I was at the hospital waiting to go into surgery to get the lapband. What a mess I was that day. Full of doubt and fear....what was I doing to myself, and worse yet, what if I wasn't successful? I wasn't doing this to look better, I was doing it because I was heading towards losing the ability to walk. How scary is that?? I wasn't worried about walking in pain...I was worried that I wouldn't be able to walk at all.

I also loved to eat. Just loved it...and loved to eat as much as I could...which is why I was morbidly obese. My life was focused on food so I couldn't imagine what my life would be if food wasn't front and center. I ate out alot...it was both the food and the socializing that I was focused on. What if I couldn't eat out anymore? Would I lose my friends? Would I enjoy my life? Again...I worried about how this surgery would change my life...but not in a positive way, I was thinking totally in a negative way. So...I was not in a good place physically or emotionally on January 14th, 2013.

Well here it is...a full year later and from a physical perspective, I've lost over a hundred pounds, I've gone from a size 26 pant and 4X top to slacks in size 12 and tops in mostly medium and large. Avenue and other plus size stores/departments are in my rearview mirror. I'd forgotten how much nicer smaller clothes are and how much fun it is to clothes shop again. It's a new mindset...not 'does it fit?' but 'how does it look?' Most important though is that I lost enough weight to have the hip replacement surgery I needed so badly. I'm still healing but already I have made leaps and bounds in terms of my mobility. I can walk up and down stairs again...I joined the Y last March and am a regular there. I swim again, and now can ride a bike. I couldn't do either a year ago. I ride the subways again, I don't fear walking more than a block or two, I found that eating out is still something I can do and look forward to even though I don't overeat. Or should I say, especially because I don't overeat. I've learned that a little bit of good food is just as enjoyable, if not better than eating too much of it.

Now..that doesn't mean it's all been a bed of roses...that's not realistic. I've had other health issues that have me concerned though I know I'm still better off smaller than larger in terms of tackling those issues. I also have body image issues that I'm working with a therapist to deal with. I've got alot of loose skin and I often don't recognize the old woman I see staring at me in the mirror. I realize it's my perception that's off, not anyone else's. All I get are compliments...I just don't believe them. So this too is an ongoing journey...and one most of us can relate to in that we didn't see ourselves as fat when we were, so why see ourselves as normal when we are?

All I can say is that this surgery saved my life...I truly believe it. I'm not suddenly living a perfect life...no one does. I'm simply living my life in a healthier way and seeing me get back what obesity took away. To all of you on this forum I say thank you. Without it, and the people on it, I don't know that I would have been this successful. The support and encouragement has been invaluable to me from the first day I found this site right up to today and I am grateful to you all.

Oh...and I've attached a before and after pic though I'm still on my journey. Just wanted to give you an idea of what 100 lbs. less looks like.

 

[KAATNS 1,473]

Super job! Way to go!

[kll724 3,055]

Congratulations on your Bandiversary! You look fabulous!

[HealthyNewMe 1,935]

Happy One Year Anniversary .....

Same beautiful smile before and after!

Much healthier person now!!!!!!!

[Sherlock1969 231]

You look phenomenal!!!!

[lisacaron 5,075]

Congratulations! You are a true inspiration to me and so many others!! Keep smiling that beautiful smile, you look amazing!!

[Terry Poperszky 2,784]

Congrats! Keep up the good work

[Ladybandito 516]

Happy Anniversary! What a nice, open, hear-felt post that so many can relate to! Wishes for everything good for you.

[Bandista 7,466]

What a wonderful inspiring post -- thank you so much for sharing your success. I always love reading your pieces as they are so compassionate and balanced. You give me hope!

[Sharpie 3,306]

woo hoo girl... my bandaversery is tomorrow... I feel the same way as you.. I have lost almost 60 lbs and I am so happy and thankful that I made the decision to reverse my health... No more Diabetes, High Cholesterol or High Blood pressure.. Shopping is definitely a happier experience than before @ 200 lbs on a 5' body it was torture..Can't find petite XXL clothes very often..

I went to my Surgeon's office yesterday for a checkup.. I wore my "skinny" jeans and black boots . My Dr. gave me a huge hug and told me how proud he was of me and then showed the staff my "outfit"... When he looked at my bloodwork and saw how good it was he grinned really big and said I knew you could do it... It is a life changing event and like you I was petrified of what my future would be without food.. I am the head cook here on the farm and we have big dinners to Celebrate everything so I was scared I would not be able to do that anymore.. But you know what I am still cooking but just eating smaller... Great job Gowalking and I am so very proud of you...

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

go.......

[steph2012 252]

Happy Bandiversary!

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

You have looked back , and now you are looking forward , this is how you do it lol you look sooooo good and out and around and out about the town , check you out , can you believe your getting out and about more now that is great, good for you.

[Yadiordz 346]

Happy, happy anniversary!!! You are doing great , look amazing !!!!

[Jim1967 3,569]

Happy Anniversary and many many more!!