Am I wrong for wanting Lap Band surgery?

[B-52 7,113]

"But you carry your weight so well!" This one always drove me nuts -- I wanted to say, "well, you carry it!" And just for the record I didn't carry my weight well. There is photo documentation. I looked and felt like hell. I am almost thirty pounds down, seventy to go, but already I feel so much better. Oh, and I had to gain to meet the insurance requirements. Just wasn't fat enough for 'em! Good grief.

Can't tell you how many times people woUld say I'm not fat, just "Brawny"

No thanks, it' feels better being skinny and light as a feather....

[LadyDiva618 359]

Oh how looks can be deceiving! But little did they know that I had high blood pressure, weigh 267 pounds and was boarder line diabetes. I know I look good on the outside but in the inside I was unhealthy. At first I used to let the negative comment get to me which cause me to drive to Jack and the box and get my 4 taco and a large Oreo shake. Then finish up with 6 bottles of bud light. Then I thought about it.. my emotions is part of the reason I became obese that and my unhealthy lifestyle. I told myself I gave obesity my 20’s and I refuse to give obesity my 30’s. So how I address those types of comments now? I smile and say this is my journey not yours. I am happy with my decision on getting the lap band. Hang in there and good luck.

[hayllyn 36]

Hello! New to this forum, and this is the first post I've read, but I couldn't help but chime in. Before my band procedure, I had the exact same reaction from nearly everyone. I am 5'7 and before starting I was 255, and people would always say things like 'But you're not fat!' or 'You don't need surgery, you just need to exercise!' ...as if I'd never thought of that. Luckily, my family and immediate circle of friends was incredibly supportive.

I looked into Lap Band surgery for two years before deciding to go through with it. The entire time leading up to it, I had been a member at a gym which I went to occasionally, I did pilates, I had a nutritionist... nothing worked for me. I just couldn't seem to lose more than 2-3 lbs before leveling out. I was tested for a thyroid problem, there was none.

So I went with Lap Band. I was banded on June 5 of 2013, and I could not be happier with my progress. Since surgery, I've dropped from 255 to 179, I am wearing clothing that I would never have been confident enough to wear before (I went out in a shirt that showed off my stomach the other day- talk about a new experience), and I've been running. I've completed a handful of 5K races and each one makes me feel a bit better than the last. I can keep up with my family (all of whom are very athletic) when we go places, and for the first time in YEARS, I am comfortable and confident in lingerie and swimwear. I've even started doing some alternative modeling.

When I tell people now that I used to weigh 255, they ask where I kept it all. Even when I see people and tell them about the surgery and they say 'you looked great before!' I can say, 'I know I did- but now I feel great.'

Do what's right for you, but know that you're absolutely not wrong.

It's funny, though, because when I started this, I thought that I would absolutely never tell anyone what I'd had done. But now that I've had it done, I talk to anyone who asks about it and I'm completely honest, because it is literally the best thing that I feel I have ever done for myself personally.

I decided to share with other people that I am comfortable telling, that I do plan to have Lap Band. I always seem to hear the same same- I AM NOT LOOK FAT AND HOW I DON'T NEED LAP BAND. I know that since I am 5'8" is tall, but I weigh 266 lbs - and that is morbidity obese. I don't think they are saying that to be nice, I think they really believe I really don't need surgery to lose weight. What do you think? Am I wrong for wanting Lap Band surgery?

[2muchfun 8,927]

Haylln, your story is so compelling. Please post more often of your success. BTW-I saw your spock pic. You're so right, where did you hide all that weight cuz you look fabulous now.?

tmf

[Sharpie 3,306]

You are not wrong for wanting to improve your health.. obese is obese and you know how much you need to lose to get to a normal weight.. I was told by the nurse who took me into the surgical suite that she was surprised that I needed to have weight loss surgery... well at 5' tall and 200 lbs I'm pretty sure I needed it.. I had tried every diet ever invented and I failed every diet.. The lapband surgery was not the easy way out and it certainly requires constant care.. You learn to eat slow, chew good, and don't try to eat til your stuffed.. It works and if you do what your Dr. tells you you will be successful.. Other people don't live in your shoes so do what is best for you... do your research...

[Wendydarling19 310]

I keep hearing the same thing! I'm 5'4 and 250. Yes I am a very beautiful girl fat or not but to me it's not that. I am doing it mainly for my health. Disregard what these people are saying and focus on you and if you believe the band is best for you then go for it! There is no shame! I had some b!t@h laugh and say "wow how did your insurance cover cosmetic surgery!" I would have smacked her if I could!!

[Srock 35]

"But you carry your weight so well!" This one always drove me nuts -- I wanted to say, "well, you carry it!" And just for the record I didn't carry my weight well. There is photo documentation. I looked and felt like hell. I am almost thirty pounds down, seventy to go, but already I feel so much better. Oh, and I had to gain to meet the insurance requirements. Just wasn't fat enough for 'em! Good grief.

My surgery date is 1/21/14. I've started telling a few people at work and I've heard "You qualify for WLS? You may be a bit over weight but not enough for WLS." I truly don't think those people mean it in a negative way, I just think they don't know what to say. I find that staying positive is the only effective response. Step 1 for me is to stay positive.

[Corridor72 518]

I decided to share with other people that I am comfortable telling, that I do plan to have Lap Band. I always seem to hear the same same- I AM NOT LOOK FAT AND HOW I DON'T NEED LAP BAND. I know that since I am 5'8" is tall, but I weigh 266 lbs - and that is morbidity obese. I don't think they are saying that to be nice, I think they really believe I really don't need surgery to lose weight. What do you think? Am I wrong for wanting Lap Band surgery?

None of us can tell you what is right for you. Only you can decide that.

Having said that, I will share a little of my experience with you and hopefully it will help you in some way. I didn't tell anyone at first. My parents knew I went to the seminar at the surgeon's office but they thought I was only going because of my dh as we both went to the seminar together. I never suggested that's why I was doing it but they assumed that was why. Dh didn't proceed any farther in the process. I immediately made an appt. and got the ball rolling because I KNEW that's what I wanted to do. I had to do 6 months of supervised weight loss and then schedule an EGD and then it still took me about 6 wks after that due to some timing/work conflicts. Anyway, once I reached the point where I was to start the liquid diet, I told my parents and the rest of my family. My parents basically just asked me why I was having it done and dh wasn't. He's much more overweight than I am and they worry a lot about his health. Anyway, that's when I had to come clean and tell them the effects that the weight was having on MY health. They had no idea how unhealthy I really was because I've never told them. My brother expressed concern and he did ask "why not just diet?". Again, I explained to him that I was doing this for my health and filled him in on my health issues. It seemed as if I got a lot "why not just diet?" from my entire family but I explained to them one by one why I felt this was the right decision for me. They didn't really get it but it helped them to see that I had thought this through and that it wasn't a decision made lightly. Once they saw that, they didn't say anything else about it. I could see in their expressions that they weren't happy about it and didn't agree but they supported me as best they knew how. As for my doctors, my PCP was very excited & supportive. My cardiologist was the one I wasn't sure about but when I mentioned it to him, his words were "I think that's a fantastic idea!". He went on to tell me that he felt I would be very successful with the band and he told me how he thought the weight loss would really help me from a cardiology standpoint and assured me that he was in my corner every step of the way. He even went ahead and made a note in his report that goes back to the PCP stating that he gave cardiac clearance for the surgery so that I wouldn't have to go through all of that again. He gave me his email address and cell phone number and told me that if that note wasn't sufficient for the surgeon to let him know and he would do whatever needed to be done without me having to come back for another visit with him.

I made this decision for me. Not for my family. I knew they would be skeptical and I knew they would concerned. It is, after all, surgery. My aunt asked me the other day if I had any regrets. My response was "Absolutely not. This IS the right thing for me. I did this for my health and for no other reason." My mother's concern has now moved on to worrying about how fast I'm losing. She knows it's not healthy to lose too fast so she keeps telling me that I need to ask the surgeon if I'm losing too fast or if he thinks I'm ok.

And by the way, I had not intended to tell my coworkers until AFTER I had my surgery because I was afraid they wouldn't understand. They ended up finding out prior to surgery(I won't get into how that happened) but, much to my surprise, they were very supportive too. I did get some of that "Why not just diet?" from a few of them and I just told them that my problem is not really whether or not I can lose the weight. I can diet and lose weight. My problem is that I end up feeling like I'm starving all the time and I give up and quit and then gain back everything I lost. The band is not only helping to lose the weight but it will help control those feelings of hunger so that I don't end up frustrated and giving up and gaining the weight back either.

Good luck to you in whatever you decide!

[pink dahlia 2,513]

I think people speak before they think when they quickly say " oh , you dont need to lose weight!" They only think that you will be thinner, but they dont think of all the problems that go with being overweight, because they cant SEE problems like sleep apnea, heart palpitations, difficulty breathing, etc. They dont SEE the problems that we have to deal with 24/7. If YOU feel that WLS is best for you, and your Dr. agrees, Go For It ! I dont regret it for a second, not only am I 63lbs lighter, but the previously mentioned problems are gone, forever !! Good luck to you !!

[theluckydog124 4]

I have the same issue. I'm 5'10 and 260. Many people don't understand that keeping 260 is a struggle. I could easily hit 300. But I'm athletic looking and a lot of people don't understand that my high blood pressure and other issues are caused by food.

My father had wls when he was roughly 60. His advice is to do it now, in my mid 30s before I get diabetes and worse. He would have been dead 10 years ago. His weight is great. From 350 to 200. Yes. It was an adjustment.

I only told people very close to me and doctors. The worst was the psychologist I went to for clearance. She spent an hour telling me how I didn't need the surgery. Started talking to me about a balanced diet. Told me I needed to take a course in healthy eating. I laughed - considering I created diet plans for elite athletes for many years - some now in the NFL. So basically she thought I'm over weight because I don't know that Pasta is a carbohydrate. Not that I know everything, but knowing and doing are very different. Very insulting.

She spoke to my doctor and then reluctantly agreed to clear me. And proceeded to send a letter to my doctor saying I should "try exercise and diet. ". I was so upset. Then she wouldn't return my phone calls. Had to go to another psychologist. Cost me more money. Set me back. My point here is that even the people who should be most sensitive can let us down.

I'm looking at a March date. And I don't worry about what anyone else says. I'm doing this for me and I know what my struggles have been.

Good luck. Thanks to all on the site for the support.