Two-Week Final Preparations, 'Grim' Question

[MadB 26]

So I'm two weeks away to this day, (surgery is on the 27th with Dr Cabrerra in Tijuana). Woot!!! Enjoying this last week of eating since I start my one-week pre-op diet on Saturday. Sooo excited and nervous and plenty of emotions all at once.

As I get ready for everything, my mind turned slightly morbid. I realized I don't have an Advanced Directive/Living Will. I've had other surgeries in the past, (Back surgery as well as various minor out-patient things), but I always just shrugged it off when checking in and the nurses asked if I had one. While I am optimistic about this process, it is still a major surgery, and I want to ensure my family, (primarily my mother and brother), to know my wishes should anything come my way in the weeks following my post-op.

I am at a loss though. I can get the forms online obviously, but there are so many things. For anyone that would like to share some insight, I would greatly appreciate it. I understand those that may not want to, as it is a VERY personal decision, so I will be happy just taking your thoughts and prayers as I figure this part out.

1>For those of you that have an Advanced Directive, how did you bring it up to your spouse or family member?

2>Do you think they understood that just because you are signing one, it doesn't mean anything is going to happen, you just want them to know what you want should the unthinkable occur? Or did they take it hard. My mother is only 64, but I want to limit the her stress over this.

3> How did you decide what you did and did not want? I imagine it is a mixture of science, religion, and perception, but I am at a loss. How is someone supposed to decided how long is too long for something like a vent, or feeding tube, or whatever? My gut tells me that once a physician says I am terminal and will never be able to care for myself, that 30 days is enough time to "see if he/she is right", and also give the family some closure, but, blarg.....

Sorry for the grim nature of the post, but it's the stage I'm currently at. I should have faced these decisions years ago with other surgeries, but I avoided them. Well, not anymore.

Thanks for any input folks. It truly is appreciated.

[magtart 603]

My husband wanted my to do one. I printed one out online, filled it out, and brought it with me to the hospital for a nurse to witness and forgot all about it as soon as I got into my gown. Oh well.

[SandeeD 363]

My will and advance directive are locked in a fireproof lock box in my house and my best friend/attorney has a copy as well. I have a copy of my advance directive ready in my notebook to go with me to the hospital. My mother knows my wishes, but when I told her she kind of changed the subject and didn't want to talk about it. It's in writing, signed by me. They know that I'm a very strong willed person and will (hopefully) respect my wishes. OR, I will come back and haunt them:)

[Miss Mac 6,262]

Same as SandeeD...I have had mine for a while...printed it out online, had it notarized at the bank. It is safe in a lockbox, but I take a copy anytime I go to the hospital. They always ask, even though they have a copy on file. Also, I have made arrangements to have my body donated to medical science, through Science Care. My family has no doubts about my wishes. I also have in my lockbox, info on finances, savings, 401K, passwords, etc. The circle of life goes on whether we are prepared or not.