New to forum, advice please!

[SecretBander 79]

I am scheduled for surgery in early February. I am having the surgery done when I travel to Arizona for work. This is on purpose so that no one knows I am having the surgery. I am single, almost 30 and a professional. I am ready to make some real changes in my life and don't think it's anyone else's business. Perhaps I am also afraid of failure and don't want family or friends to witness that.

[SecretBander 79]

Sorry hit send too soon

Am I crazy to do this in secret ? Anyone else have a similar experience?

I am not sure how complicated this will be when I need a fill. Do most surgeons put some in right away?

Also, what is the green zone I have seen people refer to?

[cheryl2586 3,053]

Well I would think that someone knowing would be the best thing. What if you have complications God forbid but they do occur. I was planning a same day procedure that turned into 3 days in the hospital because I could not stop vomiting. You never know with these surgeries and if you are going there for business when are you having surgery? You surely will not feel like doing anything at least for a week post op. I don't see how you can do it without telling anyone. You just never know what to expect or what will happen. We plan on one thing that seems simple but turns in to a nightmare. I would seriously think about telling someone that will be there for you just in case.

[SecretBander 79]

I am having surgery on a Tuesday and my week long work conference starts the next Monday so I will have time.

I have some family not too far away so if needed I can spill the Beans so to speak and have someone close by to help. So don't worry I do have a plan b , but am trying to get all my ducks in a row so plan a works

[memebear 44]

Well, I'm 70 and telling everyone..I want as much support as possible and as many prayers for success as possible. I am being banded on Jan. 27..can't wait. I just read "banded I will control the quality and the band will control the quantity.." Isn' that a wonderful thought? I will say a prayer for your success..but, rmember most people are there to support you not hurt you.

Wishing us both a happy future.

[lisacaron 5,075]

I would seriously consider making plan B your plan A. No one from work needs to know what's going on with WLS, but you are not going to be your 100% best at the conference on Monday. This is minimally invasive surgery but it is major surgery none the less and as Cheryl said there are things that can happen from God forbid the worst to the simplest of complications.

You care about yourself to take this step to be healthy, care enough about yourself to let people that love you care about and for you. Let work know your having some kind of "surgery" hernia repair or something like that so your covered on that end when you show up on Monday and have at least one family member at the hospital to care for you the first couple of days.

If you can spend the night in the hospital, trust me make some changes to your plan and you will be very glad that you did.

[lisacaron 5,075]

Well, I'm 70 and telling everyone..I want as much support as possible and as many prayers for success as possible. I am being banded on Jan. 27..can't wait. I just read "banded I will control the quality and the band will control the quantity.." Isn' that a wonderful thought? I will say a prayer for your success..but, rmember most people are there to support you not hurt you.

Wishing us both a happy future.

You got it!! I hope all goes well for you! Check in with us after your surgery!

[Bandista 7,466]

This sounds like a solid plan to me -- surgery Tuesday then recovery through the weekend -- hopefully the conference is low key and if you're tiring easily you can go rest between sessions if need be. My concern for you is the after care. Will you be traveling back to AZ to get fills? Some surgeons prime the band so you have a partial fill from the get-go. I just had a regular empty band and now I've had four fills since November 5. I think my surgeon has a fairly aggressive protocol for reaching the green zone. This is being satisfied on a small amount of food for 4-5 hours -- a dimmed appetite which allows the individual to pass up the food cravings that got us fat in the first place. Emotional eating can still occur so it's important to sort that out so you can override those old habits. Good luck with all!

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

My husband and I were sleeved and told 2 people (his choice that it is no one else's business). I do wish you would consider telling at least 1 person you trust. I wish you the very best of luck with your procedure, and you will get expert help from the friends here who have been banded. I don't think you are crazy, there are reasons we all do what we do. But I promise you this, you will not fail!!!! Therefore, do not be afraid of failure. Cheers to a new you and a new life. Hugs, Linda

[Sherlock1969 231]

I understand your decision completely. I only told my husband, my oldest son (15) (not my younger son, 7), my mom, my sisters, brother and best friend. I wish I had NOT told my brother and sisters. I am a little sad for you that you don't feel you have a least one person that you can completely and unconditionally trust. It is completely your decision to make and we will all be here for you when you need us. I hope you have a wonderful surgeon that has a wonderful staff. I see the Nurse Practitioner for fills and LOVE him! He has been a wonderful support and source of encouragement; I hope you get that as well, especially if you share with no one else.

Fills are no big deal. The first one is only because you don't know what to expect. My NP has me lay down with a pillow under my lower back, hands behind my head and then he feels for my port and fills. The most uncomfortable part is him pushing on my belly to locate the port; and uncomfortable is a strong word for it. The actual putting in of Fluid (after drawing a bit out to make sure they are where they belong) is a little weird. To me it feels like a heartbeat in that area. Weird, not painful. I went to my first one and all subsequent ones by myself.

I am a mom of two boys; I didn't want my little one knowing what was going on...partly because I didn't want him to tell everyone partly because I didn't want him to worry....so I was back up and running pretty much after a few days post op...the gas was the worst for me and the bloating. I took it easy, don't get me wrong, I got them off to school and had the day to rest.

Green zone...don't think that is going to happen right after surgery (it does rarely). I am almost a year out and am not quite there. It takes some work but the band is a wonderful tool if you use it wisely. Follow doctor's orders with what and how to eat and you WILL succeed. Changes will not happen over night, but they will happen! Best wishes to you and I hope this helped!!!

[SecretBander 79]

Can you describe what green zone means ?

[HealthyNewMe 1,935]

Can you describe what green zone means ?

Size of meal : small to medium portions

Length of meal : 15-30 minutes

Stop eating : when satisfied, not stuffed

Times/day you eat : 2 to 3

Time in between meals : 4 to 5 hours

Swallowing food : fine, if you take small bites and chew thoroughly

regurgitate/vomit : rarely or never

Night coughs or wheeze : never

Mostly eating : Proteins, and vegetables / fruits.... not sliders like ice cream

Appetite : not always hungry...satisfied until it's time for your next meal

[Frederic 500]

Can you describe what green zone means ?

The green zone refers to when you feel restriction and are able to lose and eventually maintain weight without undue discomfort. Proper nutrition and regular exercise make it more likely you will find your green zone.

Referring back to your original question about keeping it a secret I will point out that if you aren't comfortable admitting that you're getting bariatric surgery you may not be emotionally prepared for all of the life changes you'll need to make to be successful in the long term. The way you eat (especially post op) and react to food in social situations is going to cue anyone who spends a relatively frequent time with you that something is up. It's simple human nature for that to turn into speculation.

My opinion is that if you're getting bariatric surgery you shouldn't be ashamed of it. The more people who keep their surgery a secret the longer we make other people who could benefit from the surgery feel like they are just lazy or defective.

[Ladybandito 516]

Usually the hospital will want you to have someone with you to drive home after out-patient surgery, since you will have anesthesia. I think that is just most hospital's protocol. If you're staying the night, then I don't see why you couldn't manage OK on your own.

I, too, am a private person and can totally understand your desire to keep this under wraps. I had only my husband with me, and told my closest friend after I had been banded. If I were single and staying the night at the hospital, I would probably go it alone ... But that's just me. Even pre-band, I couldn't stand having people "monitor" my eating, and sometimes that would actually lead me to drop the diet altogether. (Hey, we all have some type of food issues, right? I was also scared of not being successful and everyone knowing I couldn't even do it with WLS)

Since I've reached goal, I have shared my surgery story with obese people who ask me about my weight loss (it just doesn't feel right not to share the help I've received from the band). Surprisingly few people comment on my eating habits or my weight loss, since they've seen me lose weight so many times before (and then gain it back!) I have had a few back-handed comments that I'm doing a good job keeping it off... I just smile and say thanks!

As far as the green zone, you have some great answers above. BTW, are you going to Dr Simpson in Arizona? I love his website and all the information he shares!

[kll724 3,055]

I have to agree with some of the others, please feel that you can share with at lest 1 person. I understand feeling that you don't want everyone to know your business; but incase of medical emergency, you should have a back up person,especially in a far off area. Best wishes, Karen..aka..kll724