New to forum, advice please!

[TravelGirl22 26]

I just had my surgery this past Friday (at an in-town location) and like you, chose to keep it a secret at work. However, I did tell my siblings and my daughter, and I'm glad I did. They gave me a lot of support and it really helped.

My sister stayed with me the first 24 hours, as I live alone, and I'm so glad she did - I could never have gotten out of bed on my own that first night. She really helped out.

I would strongly recommend that you let at least one or two people know, as you will need help. And there is nothing wrong in asking for help. You don't have to let your work know - after all, it's really none of their business - but for your own sake, tell a friend or a sibling or someone you can count on.

[rosettag 122]

I'm 61-year-old , but I still remember what my father used to say to me "One person must always know the truth about what you do and where you are".It was about 50 years ago. He was very strict..and knew I sometimes told him lies..

Tell one person, it is safer and I think you'll be more serene.

I made the same decision when I was banded.I told my husband and my son only.

[SecretBander 79]

Thanks for all your help and advice. Yes I am going to Dr Simpson!

As much as I hear what most of you say, I still feel my decision to keep the surgery a secret is the right one for me. I will stay the night in the hospital. I will put down a family members name and contact info in case of an emergency. My aunt and uncle live in the city so that is a back up. I will visit them four or five days after the surgery anyway.

I am wondering if people will comment on my new eating habits after the sx. I think they will think I'm just trying some new diet or have gotten more willpower along with my New Years resolution to get healthier lol !

[jeanne2986 1]

I am a surgical assistant and I had my procedure performed where I work. So EVERYONE I work with knew about it. And some even helped on my actual surgery. I told everyone I was close to. Then at 3-4 weeks out when the bandsters hell kicks in I was miserable and starving and wishing no one knew what I had done. I thought people would think look at her wls couldn't even help her. Then I got focused said I will not fail at this. So my point is for me it ended up being an extra motivator for me to succeed that little extra push. And everyone is super supportive and always compliments me even though I know sometimes it's just them being nice. And the eating habits at the lunch table will be very different. Good luck it will all work out.

Banded nov 1 2013 down 40lbs.

[SecretBander 79]

What was your bandsters hell like? Does this happen to most people?

[Frederic 500]

Bandster hell is extremely common. Basically it's the period when your old eating habits clash drastically with the new reality of how your digestive system works.

You will become stuck frequently and experience sliming not because you've eaten too much but because you've eaten something that is blocking the opening in the band and until it works it's way through your esophagus is slowly (or quickly) filling up with saliva and digestive fluids. It feels a bit like needing to vomit and that's what it generally looks like to other people but it's different. Sometimes the stuck feeling also includes painful tightness in your stomach as the muscles try to push the food through the opening.

Being very careful about what you eat reduces how frequently this will happen but you're eating habits preband are deeply engrained and the occasional absent minded bite that's too big or of the wrong food is common especially when your first learning which foods get you stuck (it's a little different for everyone and sometimes changes depending on the time of day). It's bandster Hell because you feel powerless and generally question if the WLS was worth it. This is when support really helps you avoid turning to slider foods that you learn never get stuck and you can eat freely (thinks like ice cream and pudding which are full of empty calories and don't fill you up)

The fact that during bandster Hell you'll occasionally need to hurry away after eating something, look nauseous to others, and be dropping some weight quickly at first are what people notice and that leads to speculation.

[Bandista 7,466]

Hi there, I am surprised that people don't really take note of what I'm eating as they are busy with their own meal -- for instance I worried about dinner parties and having such a small portion, etc. It has not been a problem at all, even though I know some pretty amazing cooks who want to know how the food is. That part has all been easy for me. I do some eating and also some pushing around on the plate and I'm no longer a member of the squeaky clean plate club. No one has even commented.

Bandster Hell is the time after the band is installed and healing has taken place. People are different post-surgery as far as appetite. I was lucky in that I had a diminished appetite, which was a taste of what being banded feels like. That appetite monster was gone! What a relief that is. By put then the appetite returned and it was soon time for my first fill. I have had four now since November 5 and am happy to have the appetite dimmed and the weight coming off. Some people come out of surgery ravenous and then of course it is a while before fills. That is the Bandster Hell, the band in but not tightened at all yet.

I live Simpson's article about restriction. When I was doing my research I reread it every time it came up in the signatures of a few core LB veterans. So helpful to get that straight. It's not about restriction! It's about listening to the band and the appetite being dimmed. Will you return to AZ for followup appointments and fills? What is the after-care schedule like for you? I see my surgeon 11 times post-op that first year.

Good luck to you -- exciting times ahead!

[SecretBander 79]

Thanks for the description on the Green zone and banister hell! So sliming I think I'm starting to understand what that is but is it a regurgitation or just the slime feeling in your mouth or what? Can you not really eat anything when this is happening?

I am not 100% sure how my aftercare will go. Likely I will see somebody in my home area which is Philadelphia rechecks and fills. Dr. Simpson will recommend somebody I was told by his surgery assistant.

[Jack 855]

Most Bandsters have 'some' degree of privacy delicately balanced with 'just who DO I tell' that is nobody's business.

I told a few close friends/family I was going for WLS just for my own peace of mind.

After a few weeks everybody starts noticing anyway, as your weight goes down AND your eating habits change, along with your energy level and your willingness to stuff those little morsels of Morbid Obesity Kibble & Bits all the time goes away..

Eventually most folks get around to tell a LOT of people. Be prepared for 1) mostly supportive people offering helpful stories and good wishes; 2) health-opinion fascists who insist the worst is but seconds away unless you listen to them tell you all their stories of gorey unrelated bilgeater.

In any case, the beneficial outcomes are way ahead of any other kind, despite my own anxiety in the 2 years dithering I took trying to make my own decision.

Welcome to the forum, speak up if you have a question.

Cheers on your journey.

Edited January 16, 2014 by Jack

[B-52 7,113]

I'm 62 and a professional...I told NO ONE!....I took a week's vacation, had surgery on a Monday.....Tuesday did absolutely nothing, Wednesday I was answering e-mails, doing phone work, plus some reports all from home...by Friday I was back in the office, although I was still on Vacation, I just dropped off some paperwork, picked up my mail, etc...and hung out and BS'd for about 2 hours....by next Monday I was back in full swing....

At first, everyone was giving compliments on my weight loss, and was the top topic....but now that I have been at a "Normal" weight for 2 years, it's old news...no one talks about it anymore...it's a fading memory.....I'm even starting to forget.....and new friends and colleagues I meet, never knew me when I was fat...so it is now a new life, the old one gone....

It all eventually works out for good....

Oh, and when people used to ask me how I did it??? I would tell the truth..

I eat a FRACTION of what I used to...no red meat, no products from flour such as bread, Pasta, cakes and Cookies, what I do eat is centered around high Protein foods, start with that and usually unable to get to the Desserts.....no more big Breakfast for me, just a home made high Protein smoothie every day....and I drink Water constantly....

I also go to the gym every day, and now running regularly....

ALL OF WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE!!! I do not need to lie about anything....

I just leave out the part that the only way any of this is possible for me was through lap band surgery...

Edited January 16, 2014 by B-52

[TravelGirl22 26]

I'm 62 and a professional...I told NO ONE!....I took a week's vacation, had surgery on a Monday.....Tuesday did absolutely nothing, Wednesday I was answering e-mails, doing phone work, plus some reports all from home...by Friday I was back in the office, although I was still on Vacation, I just dropped off some paperwork, picked up my mail, etc...and hung out and BS'd for about 2 hours....by next Monday I was back in full swing....

Just curious - if you didn't tell anyone, who took you home from the hospital? Or did you spend the night?

[TravelGirl22 26]

I'll be honest - the main reason I told my siblings and daughter is because I figured I owed them that. ANY surgery with anesthesia, no matter how minor, carries risks, and in case something happened, I wanted them to be aware of the circumstances in advance. I just knew how I would feel if one of them had surgery and didn't tell me, and something happened.

But if you don't have any close immediate family, then I can see keeping it to yourself.

[B-52 7,113]

I'm 62 and a professional...I told NO ONE!....I took a week's vacation, had surgery on a Monday.....Tuesday did absolutely nothing, Wednesday I was answering e-mails, doing phone work, plus some reports all from home...by Friday I was back in the office, although I was still on Vacation, I just dropped off some paperwork, picked up my mail, etc...and hung out and BS'd for about 2 hours....by next Monday I was back in full swing....

Just curious - if you didn't tell anyone, who took you home from the hospital? Or did you spend the night?

Well, obviously my Wife and kids know, Duh...., as well as a few close family members....but as far as the general public...it's none of their business and I did not want the bother explaining, or defending myself....

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Same here B-52, no one's business! Truth is, no flour, bread, rice, Pasta, alcohol, cokes, sweets, sugar, etc. in my house equals weight loss LOL!!!!

[Frederic 500]

Thanks for the description on the Green zone and banister hell! So sliming I think I'm starting to understand what that is but is it a regurgitation or just the slime feeling in your mouth or what? Can you not really eat anything when this is happening?

Eating or drinking anything while your stuck just makes it worse. If you aren't stuck for very long it can pass without having to evacuate all of the slime orally but if it persists there isn't anywhere else for those digestive juices to go so up they come. I would describe it as unpleasant and occasionally painful but not as violent as "vomiting". Once it happens you don't want it to happen again.