Dammit I thought I had made it.....

[GotItDoneInHarlem 302]

I've felt AMAZING for the last three weeks, but have run right into a wall of depression. It started Friday, but it's lingering and strengthening and I know this pattern in myself.

I'm not mourning food.

Work is great.

I've only had positive reactions from those around me.

My expectations are realistic and have been surpassed.

If the scale dictated my mood I should technically be experiencing a manic episode and not depression.

So, that leaves it to a biological reaction to surgery which is possible. It could also just be that my winter blues arrived late this year. They usually hit in November, so this is unexpected. I thought I had made it through my "danger zone."

I will say that in spite of feeling good, and in spite of losing like a champ, and in spite of intentionally surrounding myself with loved ones and friends WAY more than usual, I'm feeling SUPER lonely. This is manifesting with a lot of reminiscing on past relationships, feeling excitement and fear for dating again, and, the constant one, having HIV. HIV I have tackled for years and won in therapy, but when relationships come back into the picture it rears it's ugly head.

How long do the post-op blues last in your experience?

[janieitstime 25]

Hey there, I haven't had surgery yet; I'm not scheduled until feb 11th. I just wanted to tell you to stay strong and positive. It definitely could be the weather, but weather the storm my friend! Nothing but sunshine coming your way!!! New year new you!! Many blessings brother and congratulations!!!!

[loving.life 110]

I can't imagine the continuous struggle you have with this illness. I understand you have tackled it and that's awesome. So let me say now how very sorry I am you have this added struggle to your lifeline. With that said, I will tell you after my lap band last year I hit a similar depression about 2 wks out, doc said blame it on the meds from surgery. Not only your physical body goes through this but your mental as well.. we also lose our best friend, our crutch of a lifetime. ..food...variety...overeating. .snacking.. the ability to just grab and munch.. so pat yourself on the back and realize how strong you have been not how weak you are.. our cup is half full, not half empty! Good luck

[terry1118 1,274]

I've felt AMAZING for the last three weeks, but have run right into a wall of depression. It started Friday, but it's lingering and strengthening and I know this pattern in myself.

I'm not mourning food.

Work is great.

I've only had positive reactions from those around me.

My expectations are realistic and have been surpassed.

If the scale dictated my mood I should technically be experiencing a manic episode and not depression.

So, that leaves it to a biological reaction to surgery which is possible. It could also just be that my winter blues arrived late this year. They usually hit in November, so this is unexpected. I thought I had made it through my "danger zone."

I will say that in spite of feeling good, and in spite of losing like a champ, and in spite of intentionally surrounding myself with loved ones and friends WAY more than usual, I'm feeling SUPER lonely. This is manifesting with a lot of reminiscing on past relationships, feeling excitement and fear for dating again, and, the constant one, having HIV. HIV I have tackled for years and won in therapy, but when relationships come back into the picture it rears it's ugly head.

How long do the post-op blues last in your experience?

My husband has clinical depression also. It's physical, not caused by outside factors. I could see it come on. He'd be fine and out of the blue spiral downward till he couldn't function at all. It's hereditary from his dad's side and one of my daughters also has it. It worsens with the shorter dreary days of winter. He tried meds years ago but side effects made him miserable and seemed worse than the cure. About four years ago his new doc tried him on Effexor, citing it as a miracle drug for depression with little side effects. It worked great! For the first time in his adult life he can function normally, he can cope with unexpected problems as a normal person. He hasn't missed any work since then - he gets some pleasure out of life now and suicidal thoughts are gone. My daughter is on it now, too. Ask your doctor about it. Maybe it can help you too. You don't need to suffer.

[kimybelle 8]

Maybe going to a support group would help see if they have one that relates to your needs talking about it is always away to work threw the difficult times. Our minds are always going to hunt us down and prey on our fears we are our own worst enemies. A lot of prayer to your higher power will work as well ask him to take those feelings from your heart turn them over to God or your higher power and don't pick them back up once u let them go take a step forward and tell yourself that's the past. Today I won't be depressed by my surgery or my illness I am ready to live. I'm here if you need to talk were all in similar situations.

[Dee_1111 317]

Hi I'm Dee, GBP, 3/1/2010..Omgosh..funny you should mention this topic. Now before I had surgery I made sure I had a nutritionist, dietitian, physiatrist, psychologist and Life Coach, in place. Not really thinking I'd be using the phD. ladies. I was wrong!! I have never been a depressed, bi-polar, or any of those things. Well 5 weeks after surgery, in my peripheral I saw SUICIDE and the most horrible feeling of DOOM I had ever felt in my life, how scary was that I tell ya! I couldn't get to the phone fast enough and called my Physiatrist, she's the one who doles out meds. Well she calmed me down and told me that it is a unfortunate side affect of surgery!!..what the hell?..that wasn't in the handbook!!..she told me to wait it out, and in a week if this feeling was still there we'd discuss meds!! I was blown away!!..but it did subside, but I tell you, it has had a devastating effect on me. I will never forget that feeling as long as I live, and hope to never have it again!..but she did congratulate me on recognizing what is was and calling her immediately!! So my dear THIS TO SHALL PASS..recognize it for what it is..Surgery Side Effect.

[Obeasta 92]

I have been struggling through this.

[Obeasta 92]

Sorry i accidentally pressed send, wasnt done!

Anyway, you can read about this journey on my blog.

I have been struggling with bouts of depression and anxiety since my early 20s.

But it was never nearly as bad as after i had the surgery.

It is as if it cane at me full force, like a tornado.

And not immediately, only a few months out.

I am 9 months post op and this has been my greatest battle, mentally.

I recognise now that i used food in the past to "numb" these feelings. And now that i dont have food anymore, i am forced to stare it squarely in the face.

I am seeing a psychologist now every week and regularly i see my psychiatrist as well, to find the right dose and meds.

Currently I am on Sertra, Rivotril and Wellbutrin and it seems to do the trick. I am coping much better, but i do think my counselling is helping A LOT as well.

Obviously I have suppressed issues from way back.

Anyhow, i dont have any answers. And i do recognise that you have the added stressor of HIV and i am so sorry about that.

All i can say is focus on yourself. Research "mindfulness" and apply it. Go for counselling. And get into meditation.

I found an AWESOME app called 'simply being' and put it on every night when i turn off my light.

I am thinking of you, my friend, and I hope things get better soon. You are not alone in this struggle.

Much love from Africa.

[Dee_1111 317]

I am very sorry, please forgive me, I had NO idea about you pre-existing condition. My bout with this was only temporary. A side effect from the surgery. I now understand it is much deeper than that. God Bless.

[GotItDoneInHarlem 302]

Thanks to everyone that responded. I appreciate it.

[life_after_gastric_bypass 214]

I've felt AMAZING for the last three weeks, but have run right into a wall of depression. It started Friday, but it's lingering and strengthening and I know this pattern in myself. I'm not mourning food. Work is great. I've only had positive reactions from those around me. My expectations are realistic and have been surpassed. If the scale dictated my mood I should technically be experiencing a manic episode and not depression. So, that leaves it to a biological reaction to surgery which is possible. It could also just be that my winter blues arrived late this year. They usually hit in November, so this is unexpected. I thought I had made it through my "danger zone." I will say that in spite of feeling good, and in spite of losing like a champ, and in spite of intentionally surrounding myself with loved ones and friends WAY more than usual, I'm feeling SUPER lonely. This is manifesting with a lot of reminiscing on past relationships, feeling excitement and fear for dating again, and, the constant one, having HIV. HIV I have tackled for years and won in therapy, but when relationships come back into the picture it rears it's ugly head. How long do the post-op blues last in your experience?

Hope your feeling better.

I think we all go though similar situations,

for me I could be good on the outside feeling good, looking good, eating right, but somehow I end up in a funk...

Thankfully it didn't last long for me....wishing u peace and light Harlem, good luck to u!

Where did u have ur surgery? I had mine in Montefiore in the bronx

[shadylady_57 54]

Harlem loser Try to get in a support group, as well going to a Dr to get help. God Bless You. If yoy need to talk to some one we are all hear for you

[shadylady_57 54]

Harlem loser Try to get in a support group, as well going to a Dr to get help. God Bless You. If yoy need to talk to some one we are all hear for you