Alcoholism or heavy drinking after being sleeved

[Mommysonadiet 25]

Has anyone struggled with drinking too much after getting sleeved? My fiancé dumped me right after I was sleeved. Subsequently, I lost my career since he owned the business I worked for and I also have to move in a month. I went 4 weeks with out a drink but then I had wine and tolerated it fine, and have been drinking way too much the past week to mask the pain of everything going on in my life right now. Please private message me if you are...I could use some help here.

[taylokat 180]

I've heard that can be a problem after weight loss surgery because we aren't able to use food to cover our feelings. Was drinking a problem before the sleeve? Have you ever been to AA?

[1Day1Life4Now 882]

Has anyone struggled with drinking too much after getting sleeved? My fiancé dumped me right after I was sleeved. Subsequently, I lost my career since he owned the business I worked for and I also have to move in a month. I went 4 weeks with out a drink but then I had wine and tolerated it fine, and have been drinking way too much the past week to mask the pain of everything going on in my life right now. Please private message me if you are...I could use some help here.

Addiction is addiction, you have swapped one for the other which is not uncommon, there are many folks that slip on this path. I am sorry for your recent troubles, it seems when it rains it pours in regard to personal problems and you are not alone in this predicament. First of all, don't let your ex-fiancé determine your success or your future. Put down the alcohol and take a sober look at your present predicament. He has taken away a lot from you by "dumping" you but he can't take away your determination and self-esteem unless you let him. Decide what you want...to lie down and let him win or stand up for yourself and let this process change your life for the better so you can win. Get another job...any job to see you through for a while. You can find your dream job later... what you need now is income. See if a relative or a friend can put you up until you can save a little money to get you on your feet. Life has roadblocks and detours for everyone, very few people follow a path of roses and sunshine. You have undergone this major surgery to make your life better, please don't sabotage it by giving up. Sending you healing hugs and offering up prayers for you to find the strength to do what you need to do. You have a wonderful support group here. Please use it .

[LouiseC 1,031]

Has anyone struggled with drinking too much after getting sleeved? My fiancé dumped me right after I was sleeved. Subsequently, I lost my career since he owned the business I worked for and I also have to move in a month. I went 4 weeks with out a drink but then I had wine and tolerated it fine, and have been drinking way too much the past week to mask the pain of everything going on in my life right now. Please private message me if you are...I could use some help here.

First off, I am sorry for your troubles. What a crappy turn of events for you to have to deal with.

Secondly, a week of heavy drinking doesn't make you an alcoholic. I would not see this as addiction, more of a blip. Not surprising given what you are going through. What jumps out to me, what I think is really fantastic, is that you recognise that this isn't okay behaviour and you are reaching out for help. That says to me that you are definitely not going to let this rule your life or your recovery.

I would urge you to see someone, a professional, to talk through what you are going through and to help give you some tools you can use to manage the pain without having to turn to alcohol as a mask for it.

You are doing wonderfully, this past week is just showing you that you are human and you are vulnerable. We all are. What you are going through sucks and it is not surprising that your ability to make good choices is not so much at the forefront of your mind right now.

Don't beat yourself up about this past week, go see someone who can help you manage the pain without needing the wine.

I wish you all the best.

[DoubleA 11]

Well, first of all thank you greatly for bringing this subject up on this forum. From my perspective I can tell you that because of the surgery I do NOT believe it is a "blip." Obviously you felt strong enough about the issue to reach out to others for support and with that being said please allow me to tell you my journey, where I'm currently at with alcohol, and what measures I am taking going forward to help myself.

I was sleeved 04/25/2013 and to be very honest, I had my first drink on 05/31/2013. I believed that because it was my "birthday" and I hadn't had a drink in 6 weeks, I was somehow justified. I can also tell you that prior to surgery I was a big social binge drinker however I also justified my actions then on the premise that it was only on the weekends and not during the week.

Prior to surgery when I completed my required psychological evaluation, the Therapist was very clear with me in telling me that weight loss surgery patients are at an extremely high risk for alcoholism. Yes, I do believe this can be from basically swapping out your eating addiction however I also will tell you its more than likely due to some type of trauma that has happened in your life.

I am now approximately 9 months out from surgery and I can tell you that my current alcohol consumption is spiraling out of control. I reached my goal weight at 6 months out and all but told myself I could keep drinking and it wouldn't hurt me much; that was and is a lie. Once your sleeved, alcohol not only has greater drunkenness effects on you, but also quicker damage happens to your liver and memory.

I have now begun seeing a therapist on a weekly basis and I believe this is key. Talking about any level of addictions and or relationship struggles after surgery is HUGE! Most of us were NOT mentally prepared to take on this extreme life change and it is vitally important to talk through things with a professional.

In the event you or anyone else on here can resonate with any of my entry here, please carefully seek out a therapist immediately. Do NOT wait like I did and then things become magnified.

Thanks for allowing me to contribute.

[Mommysonadiet 25]

Yes it was a problem before the sleeve, and no I've never been to AA.... Have you? What is AA like?

I've heard that can be a problem after weight loss surgery because we aren't able to use food to cover our feelings. Was drinking a problem before the sleeve? Have you ever been to AA?

[Mommysonadiet 25]

Thank you so much for writing. I wish I could afford to see a therapist but I can't right now.

I am most afraid I won't lose any more weight if I continue to drink this much wine every day, but it seems your drinking didn't affect your weight loss. How much did you drink? I have noticed it does affect my memory more than before sleeved. I used to drink hard liquor before the sleeve though, and am afraid to try Vodka or Rum, etc now.

Well, first of all thank you greatly for bringing this subject up on this forum. From my perspective I can tell you that because of the surgery I do NOT believe it is a "blip." Obviously you felt strong enough about the issue to reach out to others for support and with that being said please allow me to tell you my journey, where I'm currently at with alcohol, and what measures I am taking going forward to help myself.

I was sleeved 04/25/2013 and to be very honest, I had my first drink on 05/31/2013. I believed that because it was my "birthday" and I hadn't had a drink in 6 weeks, I was somehow justified. I can also tell you that prior to surgery I was a big social binge drinker however I also justified my actions then on the premise that it was only on the weekends and not during the week.

Prior to surgery when I completed my required psychological evaluation, the Therapist was very clear with me in telling me that weight loss surgery patients are at an extremely high risk for alcoholism. Yes, I do believe this can be from basically swapping out your eating addiction however I also will tell you its more than likely due to some type of trauma that has happened in your life.

I am now approximately 9 months out from surgery and I can tell you that my current alcohol consumption is spiraling out of control. I reached my goal weight at 6 months out and all but told myself I could keep drinking and it wouldn't hurt me much; that was and is a lie. Once your sleeved, alcohol not only has greater drunkenness effects on you, but also quicker damage happens to your liver and memory.

I have now begun seeing a therapist on a weekly basis and I believe this is key. Talking about any level of addictions and or relationship struggles after surgery is HUGE! Most of us were NOT mentally prepared to take on this extreme life change and it is vitally important to talk through things with a professional.

In the event you or anyone else on here can resonate with any of my entry here, please carefully seek out a therapist immediately. Do NOT wait like I did and then things become magnified.

Thanks for allowing me to contribute.

[LouiseC 1,031]

In re reading the following posts I think I need to add to my earlier post. If addiction, to food, alcohol, drugs or whatever was an issue prior to being sleeved then this would certainly increase likelihood of cross addiction. My post was very much written from the perspective of a non addict and it was remiss of me not to make that clear.

[taylokat 180]

Yes it was a problem before the sleeve, and no I've never been to AA.... Have you? What is AA like?

I've heard that can be a problem after weight loss surgery because we aren't able to use food to cover our feelings. Was drinking a problem before the sleeve? Have you ever been to AA?

Yes, I've been sober for 23 years, 9 months post sleeve surgery. Due to my history I've been very alert to the role my emotions play out with my eating. AA is great, it saved my life, it doesn't cost anything , just a buck in the basket if you can spare it. Lots of support and people to call before you pick up that first drink.

[Mommysonadiet 25]

Does everyone have to stand up and introduce themselves? I've seen that on tv.

Yes it was a problem before the sleeve, and no I've never been to AA.... Have you? What is AA like?

I've heard that can be a problem after weight loss surgery because we aren't able to use food to cover our feelings. Was drinking a problem before the sleeve? Have you ever been to AA?

Yes, I've been sober for 23 years, 9 months post sleeve surgery. Due to my history I've been very alert to the role my emotions play out with my eating. AA is great, it saved my life, it doesn't cost anything , just a buck in the basket if you can spare it. Lots of support and people to call before you pick up that first drink.

[PdxMan 4,292]

No, you do not have to stand up. That is more drama for TV, but there are meetings where it is encouraged. Bottom line is you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

For me, it didn't take too long before I heard my story being told in the rooms and I was able to identify. At that point, I had crossed the line of acceptance of my alcoholism and I wanted to identify myself as such.

I am on my mobile device right now, so I will write more or contact you directly later. Just know that only you can say whether you are an alchoholic. I know AA meetings may seem daunting as there is a lot if fear that if you do identify, then you might convince yourself of something you are not. It doesn't work that way.

[PdxMan 4,292]

OK, I'm back and able to type a bit more. I decided just to post here instead of a PM as others may benefit from my experience.

I first came to AA just over 14 years ago after hitting one of my bottoms. I don't call it rock bottom as I know I have the capacity to go lower if I were to relapse. That has been true for me in the past. Addiction is a cunning, baffling, powerful foe as I knew deep down I was doing things I did not want to do, but felt powerless to stop the cycle. I repeated the same behavior time and again expecting different results, only to have things turn out the same. I would abuse substances because I didn't want to feel or confront the emotions I was dealing with. I treated substances as a reward when times were good and as a crutch when times were bad.

The bottom line, for me, is that these substances weren't my problem.

I was.

They were my solution to help me cover up the reality of my issues and they worked quite effectively for a long time. Until they didn't. And that is when I was given the gift of desperation. I could no longer go on the way I was. I had to make a change or life as I knew it would lose all meaning. I was at a turning point. I had reached my bottom.

Some of you may be asking, "What substances is he referring to? Alcohol? Illicit drugs? food?"

The answer is, "Yes", to all three. I have found that I abused food in no different way than I abused alcohol. Through the help of AA, the need to use alcohol was lifted, but then I was able to replace that addiction with food. So, I very much believe it is quite plausible to begin abusing alcohol in new ways if you are no longer able to abuse food the way you used to. And if you were abusing it prior to VSG, then even more so.

Trust me, there is not a single person who walks into their first AA meeting on the best day of their life. Nobody wants to make that first appearance and nobody wants to admit they are an alcoholic. To be honest with you, I don't want anybody admitting they are an alcoholic if they truly aren't. I wouldn't wish alcoholism on my worst enemy. But if you believe you may have an issue with some addictive behavior issues, then know that the rooms of AA have provided simple solutions to millions of people who have been able to lead much happier lives free from their addictions. I was just telling somebody yesterday that if you would have asked me to script out what I wanted to be like 5 years after getting sober, I wouldn't have been able to script it any better than how it turned out.

Yes, I still have issues. Sure, I am only two and half years post VSG. But I know that this and many other options in my life wouldn't have been even possible had I not stayed sober. Going to an AA meeting does not make you an alcoholic. You are not going to be thrown into a back room and have AA shaved into your hair. Know that every person in AA, at one time, felt very similar to how you are feeling right now, and they are there waiting with their hand out.

All it takes is willingness to make a change.

[taylokat 180]

<p>OK, I'm back and able to type a bit more. I decided just to post here instead of a PM as others may benefit from my experience.</p> <p> </p> <p>I first came to AA just over 14 years ago after hitting one of my bottoms. I don't call it rock bottom as I know I have the capacity to go lower if I were to relapse. That has been true for me in the past. Addiction is a cunning, baffling, powerful foe as I knew deep down I was doing things I did not want to do, but felt powerless to stop the cycle. I repeated the same behavior time and again expecting different results, only to have things turn out the same. I would abuse substances because I didn't want to feel or confront the emotions I was dealing with. I treated substances as a reward when times were good and as a crutch when times were bad. </p> <p> </p> <p>The bottom line, for me, is that these substances weren't my problem. </p> <p> </p> <p>I was.</p> <p> </p> <p>They were my solution to help me cover up the reality of my issues and they worked quite effectively for a long time. Until they didn't. And that is when I was given the gift of desperation. I could no longer go on the way I was. I had to make a change or life as I knew it would lose all meaning. I was at a turning point. I had reached my bottom.</p> <p> </p> <p>Some of you may be asking, "What substances is he referring to? Alcohol? Illicit drugs? food? "</p> <p> </p> <p>The answer is, "Yes", to all three. I have found that I abused food in no different way than I abused alcohol. Through the help of AA, the need to use alcohol was lifted, but then I was able to replace that addiction with food. So, I very much believe it is quite plausible to begin abusing alcohol in new ways if you are no longer able to abuse food the way you used to. And if you were abusing it prior to VSG, then even more so.</p> <p> </p> <p>Trust me, there is not a single person who walks into their first AA meeting on the best day of their life. Nobody wants to make that first appearance and nobody wants to admit they are an alcoholic. To be honest with you, I don't want anybody admitting they are an alcoholic if they truly aren't. I wouldn't wish alcoholism on my worst enemy. But if you believe you may have an issue with some addictive behavior issues, then know that the rooms of AA have provided simple solutions to millions of people who have been able to lead much happier lives free from their addictions. I was just telling somebody yesterday that if you would have asked me to script out what I wanted to be like 5 years after getting sober, I wouldn't have been able to script it any better than how it turned out.</p> <p> </p> <p>Yes, I still have issues. Sure, I am only two and half years post VSG. But I know that this and many other options in my life wouldn't have been even possible had I not stayed sober. Going to an AA meeting does not make you an alcoholic. You are not going to be thrown into a back room and have AA shaved into your hair. Know that every person in AA, at one time, felt very similar to how you are feeling right now, and they are there waiting with their hand out. </p> <p> </p> <p>All it takes is willingness to make a change.</p>

Couldn't have said it better myself! Thanks for sharing your experience PdxMan!

[Seela 1,187]

I am not an alcoholic. I never had a drug or alcohol problem. But I've had plenty of other dangerous addictions and I also happen to work next door to a building where AA meetings are held. It's always easy to spot the newbies. They are the ones with their heads held down in shame refusing to make eye contact with anyone. The vets, if you will, some of who go several time a week, some that I've talked to for over 20 years, go in with their heads held high like they just can't wait to get the show on. I think it's interesting so I watch. I see this 3 times a day 4 days a week. Mostly the same people with new ones thrown in here and there. As an outsider I can tell you the only thing that goes through my mind each and every time I see a meeting about to start is, good for them. Because I know how hard it is to actively seek help and actually benefit from it. Get help. People really do care and it really does make a difference. No body will judge you. They will hold your hand and walk you through it. I've seen it and I commend it. I have nothing but respect for the addicts that go to these meetings. I think they must be the bravest people on earth.