Worried and scared, feeling alone

[yasmineSF 4]

Hi there - I've been thinking about VGS for a couple years now and met with a surgeon last week. I know I need to do it but am scared I won't lose enough, that I'll still be severely obese.

I am 29, 6ft tall and at my highest weight of 460. I honestly don't know how it got to be this high, it feels overwhelming.

My surgeon said I would need a sleeve and after a year would need a duodenal switch because of how much I need to lose. Has anyone had both surgeries?

I see lots of success stories where everyone looks amazing at 6 and 12 months postop but I haven't seen anyone with a stating weight as high as mine.

My goal weight would be somewhere in the low 200s which is still so high and where many people start. I feel like that sounds so embarrassing. But to get to the low 200s would mean losing over 200 pounds through the surgery.

I'm just scared. Worried that even with surgery I will still look awful. I know I need to do it, mg surgeon said I could by April/May as I have Cigna which only requires a 3-month waiting period.

Any insight or supporting words would be more than appreciated. Thank you!

[irockedthe80s 11]

I understand where you're coming from. I'm at the same starting weight but shorter and older. I feel like this is my only option and I want to do it but I'm scared and sad. I have a surgery date of February 6. Can you tell me why your Dr recommends duodenal switch later?

[yasmineSF 4]

Thanks for your reply. It's nice to know I am not alone. My doctor said that with the amt I need to lose, VGS wouldn't be enough. He prefers not to do both VGS and DS at the same time so once a year had passed and I was at a healthier weight, say 350, I would have DS and hopefully lose more. I feel ashamed he thinks I need both and that I am starting so high. I also worry about malabsorption issues with DS. Losing hair, etc.

I am excited for you to have surgery scheduled so soon! I know we have to do it, that some weight off is better than staying on this path, but I am sad that what I may be able to lose is where many people start.

Best of luck!!

[tiajsuccess 13]

I have learned that obesity is different for us all. Don't let the number determine your quality of life.

I have a tentative surgery date of 02/10. I pray that God watches over me.

I wish you the best on your weight loss journey.

[irockedthe80s 11]

I think that our higher weight could help in that we should lose bigger amounts quickly (at least at the beginning). I know for myself I need to focus on how much better I'm going to feel after losing instead of how hard it's going to be to get there. Think of all that you can do now, at your current weight, and imagine what it will be like even 100 pounds less!! You'll be unstoppable!! Best of luck to you on your journey! I'll try to keep you posted

[Carlotta1 401]

Yasmin ..does the hospital that you are planning on having the surgery have monthly meetings( support groups , information meetings, etc) that u can attend for several months so that u can make an informative decision what is best for u. A Center of Excellence hospital usually have plenty of resources. I am sure the is one in within your reach. You deserve to go to the best dr and hospital. So take your time in researching the better dr, hospitals, and after care support systems. This is very important to your success. The hospital I had surgery provides weekly psycological support groups, monthly support groups for patients who are curious or has the surgery. I received a manual before my syrgery on what to expect..before, during and after surery. The eating protocol for each stage after post op was well degined and detailed.

As a young lady..you have your whole life ahead of you. This is the time for change. But only u can determine how you begin to live a healthly life. Try not to dwell on the number of pounds that u have to lose. I myself was overwhelmed..however you have to start taking steps to get where u want to be. And don't give up. I was afraid to have the sleeve. I vacillated back and forth whether I should have the surgery. Whether I was truly ready to give up food as my friend, my companion. Whether i should trust the procedure to take me where I want to be health wise. After much contemplation..I went for it. Even though I am only 5 weeks post op. I see a change in my relationship with food already and have lost almost 30 pounds thus far.

All of us on this website want to see you succeed. So please do your homework..ask questions, make sure u have good resources and determine if the sleeve is right for u. If u do decide the sleeve is right for u.. Sleevers on this sight will be here for u.. Pre and post surgery.

[greensleeve 457]

Why won't he just do the switch or a bypass?

I know I feel a lot of embarrassment over letting myself get to the point where I need surgery to help me. You have a lot to lose but if your surgeon didn't think it was possible he wouldn't let you have the surgery.

You can do it!

I'm pre op and I have been through every emotion in the world through this ordeal. It's a big deal. It seems like some people just get on board with the surgery and they just breeze through whole others like us have a lot of fear and shame and anxiety.

I'm going to send you a private message.

[VSG AJH 499]

The second step is an option for you, but it's not something you absolutely have you do if you're not comfortable taking the extra step. Check out LessofSarah on YouTube. She had similar starting stats and had the sleeve a year ago. She still has some weight to lose, but I personally don't think she has enough to warrant a second surgery.

[lsereno 2,525]

Check the forum under gastric sleeve support, weight loss specific, 200 + to lose. There are several success stories for those who started over 400, including butterthebean.

Lynda

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Dear Yasmine, I hope you have a surgeon who came well recommended, and if not, please check him out so that you firmly believe/trust in him. I think that is most important.

You have a journey ahead, for sure, but the great thing is you will find many people here with your same issues who you will be able to relate to. You have to have support, and if you do not have it where you live make sure you have it through this wonderful supportive group.

My husband had serious weight issues, like you, and I was also sleeved. This surgery is a life-saving venture for a lot of us. I wish you the best of good luck, happiness and FAITH to get you to where you need be. God Bless Yasmine!

[Noor1969 150]

PLEASE don't feel ashamed. I spent most of last year on the HCG diet (spending a ton of $ to see a famous diet doctor) and have gained back almost all of the 60 pounds I lost. I have also gained over 10 pounds from the time I first saw my surgeon in November to Dec. 23rd which was when I last saw her. So the pounds have been piling on. I've been struggling with the shame issues pretty badly as well and I want you to know that you're not alone. I know what it's like to feel ashamed and embarrassed.

If you have to have the DS eventually, so be it. What matters the most is your health. There are many people who have had both surgeries and have had outstanding results, so please don't beat yourself up because you might be doing this too.

It's entirely possible to lose 200+ pounds with the sleeve surgery. I agree with the above poster to keep an eye out for butterthebean. He posts often and always has inspiration and valuable feedback to share.

Please keep us posted. We care.

[Polished Pig 20]

I have an appointment with a 2nd surgeon on the 21st of this month. I canceled my surgery with my original surgeon because I didn't feel comfortable I was getting all the information I wanted. This Dr. was great, but at the end of the day all that matters is how I feel and I didn't feel right with him.

I would recommend getting a second opinion. All doctors are different and it is up to us as the patients to not accept everything just because it's a doctor saying it. Go see another doctor and see what he says. I'm in Texas, most doctors here do free consultations. I'm assuming that's fairly standard. Did he suggest bypass instead of sleeve? Are you open to that? I know that it's sometimes more successful for someone who has a higher starting rate.

You are doing the right thing by coming here for advice, keep searching for the right answer (something you're comfortable with) and you will find it.

[st2011 29]

<p>I have an appointment with a 2nd surgeon on the 21st of this month. I canceled my surgery with my original surgeon because I didn't feel comfortable I was getting all the information I wanted. This Dr. was great, but at the end of the day all that matters is how I feel and I didn't feel right with him. </p> <p>I would recommend getting a second opinion. All doctors are different and it is up to us as the patients to not accept everything just because it's a doctor saying it. Go see another doctor and see what he says. I'm in Texas, most doctors here do free consultations. I'm assuming that's fairly standard. Did he suggest bypass instead of sleeve? Are you open to that? I know that it's sometimes more successful for someone who has a higher starting rate. </p> <p> </p> <p>You are doing the right thing by coming here for advice, keep searching for the right answer (something you're comfortable with) and you will find it.</p>

I agree...a second opinion would probably be a great option at this time. I also agree with the other posters that it's possible that the sleeve will be enough to not need a second surgery.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Christy good for you! We developed an instant rapport with our surgeon. Since we live in a large city, he has a TEAM that has led us several months to surgery and now post op. Trust your gut instincts with your doctors, you get to pick and choose!!!!

[yasmineSF 4]

Wow thank you all for such supportive words! I really appreciate it. I have done a bit of research about doctors here in San Francisco and this one particular doctor comes highly recommended. I am thinking I will meet with one more for another opinion.

I looked up LessofSarah on YouTube and her videos were helpful and inspiring. It's incredible to see how much weight people can lose with VSG, so long as it is paired with proper diet and exercise.

Do any of you find it really difficult to keep up the strict diet plans? As for exercise, I imagine it gets easier as you lose more weight.

Thanks again for your encouragement, means a lot.