Fall down 7 times. Stand up 8!

[teacherlady2133 258]

I wanted you to know how brave I believe you are for posting you photos.. I could put my head on your body and it would be me! I am still pre-op and have 2 more months of NUT appointments. I am excited to watch others change and reach goals because it gives me hope!!!

Good luck

[mosaicforyou67 5]

May you be Blessed during your journey I believe we can all understand where you have been and want the best for your future. I have been considering this for over 10 years.

Hello.
For years I have considered weight loss surgery but finally started the process in July of 2013. My surgeon is Dr. Robert Quinlin at Ruby Memorial Hospital in Morgantown, WV. My surgery is Monday, January 13, 2014. Quinlin and his team have been phenomenal so far.
My highest weight was 334lbs in July. I have since lost 14lbs and am at 320lbs. I am 5'6" and 41yrs old.
I have been big most of my life but that never kept me from participating in life nor were there any limitations until the past few years. When I weighed 270 five years ago, I began to realize the consequence of aging and carrying the weight and gained 60 MORE pounds. This last 60lbs has basically left me exhausted and miserable. It's all I can do sometimes to get to work, keep the house clean, and ...exist. The limitations happened within 5 years and then I was faced with the reality of consequence of working night shift, convenient eating, eating at night, sleeping during the day. It sounds silly but one day I just looked in the mirror and wondered when and how did this happen? Or better yet, how did I let my weight get so out of control?

I am a food enthusiast, not so much sweet things but more drawn to bread and doughy things. And soda!

This week I am on the pre-op liquid diet [high Protein, sugar free Jello, sugar free popscicles, and broth]. It has been very difficult but it is almost over. I made it! Tomorrow morning it's Clear liquids only. Kudos to those of you doing two weeks of liquids.< br />
99% of the people in my life are supportive of this decision. The others think I can lose the weight on my own. But they cannot possibly imagine the convergence of misery that has resulted in this decision. Sometimes I even think "oh my god, you are really doing this!?"...then I nod and think "YES I AM!"

My parents are my biggest support. I thank the Lord everyday that they are here for me.
My anxiety comes and goes. I find myself more anxious in preparing...having the dogs taken care of for three days, the packing of the hospital bag, having clean sheets on the bed for when I arrive back home but I am sure Monday morning I will battling my inner frenzy. Even so, I am ready. Whatever it takes. Fall down seven times, stand up eight.

Tomorrow I will do before pics. And maybe I will figure out how to get a profile picture.
Thanks for reading. It's truly wonderful that technology at least provides this channel of support, experience, sharing, and understanding.

[Kookichu 113]

I wanted you to know how brave I believe you are for posting you photos.. I could put my head on your body and it would be me! I am still pre-op and have 2 more months of NUT appointments. I am excited to watch others change and reach goals because it gives me hope!!!

Good luck

Following the journey of others has also given me hope over the years, and especially over the last six months.

As for being brave...I actually see what you mean. But I figured we are all in the fight. Maybe most people would rather see the after/success story but I'm only beginning those chapters.

It is what it is.

Having gastric bypass was an act of desperation to feel better. It's not that I love that body I posted, but I don't hate it either. I hate that obesity made me lose joy and moments. Exhaustion led to inertia which led to...that picture.

Keep in touch. Good luck to you as these past couple months will go quicker than you think [at least in hindsight]. I am cheering you on, lady!

[Kookichu 113]

I wanted you to know how brave I believe you are for posting you photos.. I could put my head on your body and it would be me! I am still pre-op and have 2 more months of NUT appointments. I am excited to watch others change and reach goals because it gives me hope!!!

Good luck

And Thank you!!

[Kookichu 113]

May you be Blessed during your journey I believe we can all understand where you have been and want the best for your future. I have been considering this for over 10 years.

Thank you, mosaicforyou. It's not an easy decision. I've considered it for five years and as time goes, it is a long time but it goes so quickly.

During those five years, I would get all determined to lose weight through diet and exercise, but instead gained 60lbs. It still sounds absurd.

I appreciate your understanding.

Where are you in your journey?

[mosaicforyou67 5]

My surgery is Wed 1/29. On the liver shrink diet now. I was unable to lose weight after my 2nd son, I have been about the same weight +/- 5 pounds since then. I can lose 20 pounds but it always comes back.

May you be Blessed during your journey I believe we can all understand where you have been and want the best for your future. I have been considering this for over 10 years.

Thank you, mosaicforyou. It's not an easy decision. I've considered it for five years and as time goes, it is a long time but it goes so quickly.
During those five years, I would get all determined to lose weight through diet and exercise, but instead gained 60lbs. It still sounds absurd.
I appreciate your understanding.
Where are you in your journey?

[Kookichu 113]

My surgery is Wed 1/29. On the liver shrink diet now. I was unable to lose weight after my 2nd son, I have been about the same weight +/- 5 pounds since then. I can lose 20 pounds but it always comes back.

I know that battle! You are so close. Blessings to you. If there is anything I can do or questions I can answer, feel free to reach out [certainly not an authority but I am too familiar with that pre-op diet].

Just know you got this!!

[Kookichu 113]

So glad you are home and doing well. Give yourself time to figure out the food situation. I am using MyFitnessPal to help me track my Protein intake and that has been very helpful for me. I am excited to have someone so close to my surgery date to chat with here. Wishing you smooth sailing from here forward!

It's getting better everyday! I had a full nights rest and found getting up out of bed less painful...might even venture out a little today.

I will definitely look into MyFitnessPal as soon as I post this...been hearing and reading quite a bit about it. Any help is a step in the right direction. This girl is looking forward to some greek yogurt. Ha

I am excited we are close in surgery dates too! Karen, my name is Carol.

[loving.life 110]

My surgery was Jan 9. I have enjoyed reading your story and well post mine next... but I think I need a nap first lol! !

[teacherlady2133 258]

Loving life,

I hope you are doing well and adjust to everything.

I have had a hard week guess it is a fall down time. Since September I have been doing so good with my eating habits.. I have been eating like I was post operation and my NUT said she never met someone so determined to live this new life style. Well something happen last Thurs and I feel like I can't get back to where I was....

Made a horrible choice and ate a whole pizza.. To be honest I had never did that before!!! Then it just kept happening... All weekend... Bad choice after another!!!

I know I am only pre-op but this is so not good... Got to get back up... But... Just can't find how!

[Dorian 683]

Loving life,

I hope you are doing well and adjust to everything.

I have had a hard week guess it is a fall down time. Since September I have been doing so good with my eating habits.. I have been eating like I was post operation and my NUT said she never met someone so determined to live this new life style. Well something happen last Thurs and I feel like I can't get back to where I was....

Made a horrible choice and ate a whole pizza.. To be honest I had never did that before!!! Then it just kept happening... All weekend... Bad choice after another!!!

I know I am only pre-op but this is so not good... Got to get back up... But... Just can't find how!

Hang in there! You CAN do it, just sit and think about why you want this surgery and how important it is for you to lose the weight and be healthy! We all have made mistakes and are human.

[Kookichu 113]

Loving life,

I hope you are doing well and adjust to everything.

I have had a hard week guess it is a fall down time. Since September I have been doing so good with my eating habits.. I have been eating like I was post operation and my NUT said she never met someone so determined to live this new life style. Well something happen last Thurs and I feel like I can't get back to where I was....

Made a horrible choice and ate a whole pizza.. To be honest I had never did that before!!! Then it just kept happening... All weekend... Bad choice after another!!!

I know I am only pre-op but this is so not good... Got to get back up... But... Just can't find how!

I second Dorian, you can do this. I can't count the number of pizzas that have passed through my taste buds. Millions [lol]!

Acknowledge the fall, dust yourself off and start again. It's not even starting over because you have come so far and the agonizing just goes to prove how much his means to you.

Presurgery was difficult for me, too. I absorbed the information in the nutrition classes, lost 14lbs, but I was still able to eat all the carb, sugar and fat I wanted...not always willing but able. Post surgery, you can't. It is that simple. Yesterday, I saw a picture of two pizzas on pinterest captioned "beauty comes in all shapes and sizes" and I wanted a bite of that pizza. Lordy, did I! The struggle may always be there for us, but we're fighters and winners...setbacks won't change that. Love yourself and stand up, beautiful!

[teacherlady2133 258]

Thank you guys so much!

I am restarting slowly, got to find that motivation again.. I know it is there! This is always the point in my weight loss journeys I fall down and don't get back up! Life seems to come in and kick my butt!!

I have made better choices for 3 days now still not as good as before but getting better everyday... I am almost to the finish line so got to hang in there!!!

[teacherlady2133 258]

I have been reflecting this morning in what derailed me! What caused me to spiral back out of control so hard and even harder than before I started this journey?

My choices yes, my will power yes, but something triggered it and I remember what now...

It wasn't the money being way way too tight... Or the new college classes.. It was a simple statement from someone very important to me!

It was so hurtful at the moment but I excused it but now reflecting it changed me... It was a powerful statement based in my faith about overweight people and their value!

Sitting here writing this I am tearing up!! When you already have value issues and are fighting daily to find your worth to be told you had no value was a blow! I sat there in awe of the statement!

Here I had lost 60 pounds and had changed everything about my eating and preparing for the surgery and I have no value not worth living..

I now know this was a total envy statement and based in this persons own struggle with current weight loss.....but I feel like all I am doing is still excusing this encounter and now hurting myself with food.

Each day has became a dreaded food battle that I am losing I have gained 8 pounds back!! I feel swollen from the process foods and my body hurts... I am noticing the longer I stay fallen down how extremely hard it is to get back up!!!

I hope writing this and having this reflection will move me today to a new start!!

Dealing with these demons before surgery I hope will help afterwards!!!

[esthor303 2]

Following the journey of others has also given me hope over the years, and especially over the last six months. As for being brave...I actually see what you mean. But I figured we are all in the fight. Maybe most people would rather see the after/success story but I'm only beginning those chapters. It is what it is. Having gastric bypass was an act of desperation to feel better. It's not that I love that body I posted, but I don't hate it either. I hate that obesity made me lose joy and moments. Exhaustion led to inertia which led to...that picture. Keep in touch. Good luck to you as these past couple months will go quicker than you think [at least in hindsight]. I am cheering you on, lady!

I'm having surgery February 4, 2014! Feel like the pics you posted are of me! I'm on my 2 week diet right now