NSV: Golden Girl

[bluegudren 156]

Houston is known as the fattest city in the country. I live in Houston. Thinner women make more money. It's true in Texas. Not sure why. Texans don't like the frumpy look. It's not cold much, and women don't have to cover up. Jeans are the normal attire. And it pays to look good. I don't make the rules. And I don't follow them. I chose real estate and to be self employed! No person is going to chose how much money I make but me! If I work harder I make more money. Simple. But, Houston, we DO HAVE A PROBLEM!

[NaNa 878]

Houston is known as the fattest city in the country. I live in Houston. Thinner women make more money. It's true in Texas. Not sure why. Texans don't like the frumpy look. It's not cold much, and women don't have to cover up. Jeans are the normal attire. And it pays to look good. I don't make the rules. And I don't follow them. I chose real estate and to be self employed! No person is going to chose how much money I make but me! If I work harder I make more money. Simple. But, Houston, we DO HAVE A PROBLEM!

You know what? As I think about it...it's more of a "southern" thing....

I grew up in Atlanta, and before I relocated to Mid-Atlantic, Washington, DC, Maryland areas, I remember this type of behavior down in Atlanta. I think this is why I Left...It has been almost 20 years since I left the deep south!

It was "oh she's so pretty" attitude rather than "does she know what she is doing"...lol...

When I moved north it was a "different" atmosphere, MOST of the women in the Maryland, DC and northern, Virginia areas were Highly educated and is the only area in the US where most women have college degrees and are in higher positions...I guess because a lot of women work on Capitol Hill, in DC..

And equal rights for women are more prominent in the Washington DC areas and MOST women in the DC areas make MORE money than men....they don't play that here in fact, men will get fired if they play that type of nonsense...and it's venturing on sexual harassment and discrimination...IF they try to discriminate based on weight it will be more subtle and not in your face...lol.

And...it's not that type of atmosphere in the Washington DC, Maryland and Virginia areas and MANY women are managers, directors, etc and own their own business.

[kll724 3,055]

Houston is known as the fattest city in the country. I live in Houston. Thinner women make more money. It's true in Texas. Not sure why. Texans don't like the frumpy look. It's not cold much, and women don't have to cover up. Jeans are the normal attire. And it pays to look good. I don't make the rules. And I don't follow them. I chose real estate and to be self employed! No person is going to chose how much money I make but me! If I work harder I make more money. Simple. But, Houston, we DO HAVE A PROBLEM!

You know what? As I think about it...it's more of a "southern" thing....

I grew up in Atlanta, and before I relocated to Mid-Atlantic, Washington, DC, Maryland areas, I remember this type of behavior down in Atlanta. I think this is why I Left...It has been almost 20 years since I left the deep south!

It was "oh she's so pretty" attitude rather than "does she know what she is doing"...lol...

When I moved north it was a "different" atmosphere, MOST of the women in the Maryland, DC and northern, Virginia areas were Highly educated and is the only area in the US where most women have college degrees and are in higher positions...I guess because a lot of women work on Capitol Hill, in DC..

And equal rights for women are more prominent in the Washington DC areas and MOST women in the DC areas make MORE money than men....they don't play that here in fact, men will get fired if they play that type of nonsense...and it's venturing on sexual harassment and discrimination...IF they try to discriminate based on weight it will be more subtle and not in your face...lol.

And...it's not that type of atmosphere in the Washington DC, Maryland and Virginia areas and MANY women are managers, directors, etc and own their own business.

Nana, this may be true now, but Capitol hill women in the 60's and 70's(maybe even still) had to be pretty, well dressed, and smart, in that order!(in fact back then, there was no slacks either!)so maybe they have moved forward quicker than the "South" but then I haven't been inside the offices of the senate and congress. Just saying! Karen..aka..kll724

Edited January 10, 2014 by kll724

[Bandista 7,466]

Hi Pretty Thick, your life is coming together in all sorts of ways and I'm so happy for you. I think you are tapping into flow. Your self-esteem is higher and you're exuding happiness. Other people like to have those people around them. When we are in that place of flow we find ourselves receiving all sorts of unexpected rewards. It's about energy and connection.

I'm sorry some others felt the need to rain on your parade in the name of society's tendency to overlook heavier people when it comes to promotion, etc. You earned every penny of that and you know it. You are smart, talented and you've put in your time. Because we still have a society where men are paid more, receive the better jobs, etc., we need women like you to be making it up the ladder into places of power and decision so you can help equalize the playing field and create a better society.

Here's to asking for something. I think that's what this NSV is all about. You held up your head, marched in and made a request -- and it worked! Congratulations on that. You are advocating for yourself and for what you want, which is to create a new life in the same geographic region with some one you love. I think you are saying that having your band and losing the weight gave you that confidence. That is a tremendous NSV. Maybe it's good to be aware that not every one will be happy for you and you will need to protect yourself from others sometimes.

Maybe this forum is a little microcosm of that. You don't need to make any excuses for the industry you're in or the man's world we still all find ourselves in despite years of feminists working so hard. We are not going to get there by dropping out or saying no because existing conditions aren't yet what they should be. Here's to saying YES and to asking for what we want and need. I am really proud of you.

Edited January 10, 2014 by Bandista

[NaNa 878]

Houston is known as the fattest city in the country. I live in Houston. Thinner women make more money. It's true in Texas. Not sure why. Texans don't like the frumpy look. It's not cold much, and women don't have to cover up. Jeans are the normal attire. And it pays to look good. I don't make the rules. And I don't follow them. I chose real estate and to be self employed! No person is going to chose how much money I make but me! If I work harder I make more money. Simple. But, Houston, we DO HAVE A PROBLEM!

You know what? As I think about it...it's more of a "southern" thing....

I grew up in Atlanta, and before I relocated to Mid-Atlantic, Washington, DC, Maryland areas, I remember this type of behavior down in Atlanta. I think this is why I Left...It has been almost 20 years since I left the deep south!

It was "oh she's so pretty" attitude rather than "does she know what she is doing"...lol...

When I moved north it was a "different" atmosphere, MOST of the women in the Maryland, DC and northern, Virginia areas were Highly educated and is the only area in the US where most women have college degrees and are in higher positions...I guess because a lot of women work on Capitol Hill, in DC..

And equal rights for women are more prominent in the Washington DC areas and MOST women in the DC areas make MORE money than men....they don't play that here in fact, men will get fired if they play that type of nonsense...and it's venturing on sexual harassment and discrimination...IF they try to discriminate based on weight it will be more subtle and not in your face...lol.

And...it's not that type of atmosphere in the Washington DC, Maryland and Virginia areas and MANY women are managers, directors, etc and own their own business.

Nana, this may be true now, but Capitol hill women in the 60's and 70's(maybe even still) had to be pretty, well dressed, and smart, in that order!(in fact back then, there was no slacks either!)so maybe they have moved forward quicker than the "South" but then I haven't been inside the offices of the senate and congress. Just saying! Karen..aka..kll724

Hi Karen,

I think everyone IS missing my point. I am not saying professional women don't have to "look good". In FACT MOST professional women who make a LOT OF MONEY....MUST dress for success and LOOK GOOD in their clothes...

Heck I got my lap band because I wanted to look "better" in my clothes and gain more confidence...BUT while I WAS obese I got the SAME jobs, and I was not treated any different..however...I WAS treated differently by other male colleagues...but they were not my boss...LOL..

Also you RARELY see very OBESE professional women in the media (TV) and women on Capitol Hill, especially in the Mid-Atlantic region (Washington, Virginia, Maryland) that are severely obese...

MOST women who want to get ahead KNOW that if they WANT TO COMPETE in the business world they must LOOK good in their clothes and that comes WITH being thinner...NOT necessarily being a size 6....remember some women CAN STILL look good in a size 18.

My point to PrettyThick is that it seems like sexual discrimination that while she had being working on her job for the last 9 years and all of a sudden she gets a "promotion" AFTER she lost weight and was invisible before...TO ME that sounds like discrimination....especially if she gets the raise not based on "job performance"....

You don't have to preach to me about bias against obese women in the workforce, I know it exist very well...and it's very sad...but my point was SOME areas like the Mid-Atlantic region it is not as in your face discrimination, most women are given promotions and raises based on merit...not necessarily based on what size they wear...

[NaNa 878]

Also my post is not ABOUT raining on someone's parade but making them "open' their eyes on blatant bias against obesity in the workforce.

And PrettyThick! I know you are in Texas which is a total different world of where I am, and I know you are riding high on your slim body and perks that comes along with it....I am wishing you all the perks, you can get.....

We all get noticed and treated differently when we lose weight, sometimes it can be overwhelming..

[kll724 3,055]

OH, Nana, I understood what you were saying, I just know that they did discriminate for the good looking and young slim women and the older not so pretty ones worked there they just were not in the senate and congress(men) offices!(lived and worked in DC area for 40 years)!

I do know that you and others are congratulating her on her efforts of both losing weight and getting her SO a JOB or at least an interview!Karen..aka..kll724

[cheryl2586 3,053]

Well I am sorry but I have never been turned down for a job in Florida which is the deepest south you can get because of my weight. Only once in my adult life was I turned down because of my weight. If it was a you can't have the job because you are black you would be all over it. I would not no matter where I live work for an employer who favors people who are thin. I am sorry there is not enough money in this world to keep me working in a place that is full of discrimination. Women have had enough issues trying to succeed in life and the working world and as long as women allow this kind of behavior it will never stop. I guess I am different in that aspect because I need to feel important in my job no matter if I weigh 100lbs or 500 I am and will always be the same person. Nothing about me changes because of my weight.

[PrettyThick1 1,860]

I wish I could hug you Lisa. Wow...you said it better than I or anyone else in this position could. Bravo!!!

To advocate here..I have been on both sides of this. I have been a thinner woman working in a mans world. (The gaming industry) and I have been a larger woman working in a mans world.

I have been a larger woman working in the corporate world and a larger woman who has owned her own business.

I understand totally 100% where PT is coming from. She is right about working in a mans world, men are visual creatures and Texas...come on now it's home of the beauty pageants!

When I was younger and thinner and not as knowledgeable as I am today, if I repeated what the owner of the company who was an older larger woman said to the men standing around they listened to me and acted on my words. I was not the owner I didn't pull the strings but they were so busy looking at me it was easy to get them to do what we needed them to do. It was kind of a good cop bad cop routine and it worked for a bunch of ladies trying to run a business in a mans world.

As an older woman who has rounded out so to speak, I have worked in several high profile corporate offices and while they all take my knowledge and education seriously, I know it's because I have a pretty face to carry my message home and that's why they pay attention to me. It also helps that most corporations now have women at the top and not just men. Let me tell you ladies though that pretty face and body works with women at the top as much as the men and can also backfire if another woman feels threatened by you.

Ah so that said...I'll say it again...take 'em for all they got cause your a smart awesome woman that knows how to work it!

[PrettyThick1 1,860]

YES MA'AM!!!! Big hand clap!!!

i honestly will be working it once I lose weight thats the world I live in

[PrettyThick1 1,860]

Hugs Terry and thank you very much!!!

okay besides all of the above which i truly believe too, i have been discrimentated against on many occassions, i think that pretty thick is just trying to share the fact that her and her love can be in the same state working. remember she just told us SHE IS IN LOVE. so whatever the case maybe congrat's on getting the boyfriend in the same state. yeah

[PrettyThick1 1,860]

BRAVO!!! Love your post. The support from my Texas sisters is phenomenal!!!!

Houston is known as the fattest city in the country. I live in Houston. Thinner women make more money. It's true in Texas. Not sure why. Texans don't like the frumpy look. It's not cold much, and women don't have to cover up. Jeans are the normal attire. And it pays to look good. I don't make the rules. And I don't follow them. I chose real estate and to be self employed! No person is going to chose how much money I make but me! If I work harder I make more money. Simple. But, Houston, we DO HAVE A PROBLEM!

[PrettyThick1 1,860]

Don't toot your horn too loudly, I'm from the midwest and yes, it is different but there are other issues as well. Northwest Indiana, Chicago, Detroit, D.C., Maryland and Virginia...no, it's not so much about weight there, you guys are covered up 1/2 of the year so you can disguise your physical features more - here in warm weather, we flaunt it...even if we ain't got it. I lived in Atlanta, too...but I left for other reasons. Boys like boys more than boys like girls. Period.

Houston is known as the fattest city in the country. I live in Houston. Thinner women make more money. It's true in Texas. Not sure why. Texans don't like the frumpy look. It's not cold much, and women don't have to cover up. Jeans are the normal attire. And it pays to look good. I don't make the rules. And I don't follow them. I chose real estate and to be self employed! No person is going to chose how much money I make but me! If I work harder I make more money. Simple. But, Houston, we DO HAVE A PROBLEM!

You know what? As I think about it...it's more of a "southern" thing....

I grew up in Atlanta, and before I relocated to Mid-Atlantic, Washington, DC, Maryland areas, I remember this type of behavior down in Atlanta. I think this is why I Left...It has been almost 20 years since I left the deep south!

It was "oh she's so pretty" attitude rather than "does she know what she is doing"...lol...

When I moved north it was a "different" atmosphere, MOST of the women in the Maryland, DC and northern, Virginia areas were Highly educated and is the only area in the US where most women have college degrees and are in higher positions...I guess because a lot of women work on Capitol Hill, in DC..

And equal rights for women are more prominent in the Washington DC areas and MOST women in the DC areas make MORE money than men....they don't play that here in fact, men will get fired if they play that type of nonsense...and it's venturing on sexual harassment and discrimination...IF they try to discriminate based on weight it will be more subtle and not in your face...lol.

And...it's not that type of atmosphere in the Washington DC, Maryland and Virginia areas and MANY women are managers, directors, etc and own their own business.

[PrettyThick1 1,860]

Er....See: Scandal. Media sets the tone for beauty and I haven't seen a single overweight woman representing any part of our nations capitol.

Houston is known as the fattest city in the country. I live in Houston. Thinner women make more money. It's true in Texas. Not sure why. Texans don't like the frumpy look. It's not cold much, and women don't have to cover up. Jeans are the normal attire. And it pays to look good. I don't make the rules. And I don't follow them. I chose real estate and to be self employed! No person is going to chose how much money I make but me! If I work harder I make more money. Simple. But, Houston, we DO HAVE A PROBLEM!

You know what? As I think about it...it's more of a "southern" thing....

I grew up in Atlanta, and before I relocated to Mid-Atlantic, Washington, DC, Maryland areas, I remember this type of behavior down in Atlanta. I think this is why I Left...It has been almost 20 years since I left the deep south!

It was "oh she's so pretty" attitude rather than "does she know what she is doing"...lol...

When I moved north it was a "different" atmosphere, MOST of the women in the Maryland, DC and northern, Virginia areas were Highly educated and is the only area in the US where most women have college degrees and are in higher positions...I guess because a lot of women work on Capitol Hill, in DC..

And equal rights for women are more prominent in the Washington DC areas and MOST women in the DC areas make MORE money than men....they don't play that here in fact, men will get fired if they play that type of nonsense...and it's venturing on sexual harassment and discrimination...IF they try to discriminate based on weight it will be more subtle and not in your face...lol.

And...it's not that type of atmosphere in the Washington DC, Maryland and Virginia areas and MANY women are managers, directors, etc and own their own business.

Nana, this may be true now, but Capitol hill women in the 60's and 70's(maybe even still) had to be pretty, well dressed, and smart, in that order!(in fact back then, there was no slacks either!)so maybe they have moved forward quicker than the "South" but then I haven't been inside the offices of the senate and congress. Just saying! Karen..aka..kll724

[PrettyThick1 1,860]

I truly have no words, but tears are forming in my eyes. God bless you Bandista. Lord, I mean it!

Hi Pretty Thick, your life is coming together in all sorts of ways and I'm so happy for you. I think you are tapping into flow. Your self-esteem is higher and you're exuding happiness. Other people like to have those people around them. When we are in that place of flow we find ourselves receiving all sorts of unexpected rewards. It's about energy and connection.

I'm sorry some others felt the need to rain on your parade in the name of society's tendency to overlook heavier people when it comes to promotion, etc. You earned every penny of that and you know it. You are smart, talented and you've put in your time. Because we still have a society where men are paid more, receive the better jobs, etc., we need women like you to be making it up the ladder into places of power and decision so you can help equalize the playing field and create a better society.

Here's to asking for something. I think that's what this NSV is all about. You held up your head, marched in and made a request -- and it worked! Congratulations on that. You are advocating for yourself and for what you want, which is to create a new life in the same geographic region with some one you love. I think you are saying that having your band and losing the weight gave you that confidence. That is a tremendous NSV. Maybe it's good to be aware that not every one will be happy for you and you will need to protect yourself from others sometimes.

Maybe this forum is a little microcosm of that. You don't need to make any excuses for the industry you're in or the man's world we still all find ourselves in despite years of feminists working so hard. We are not going to get there by dropping out or saying no because existing conditions aren't yet what they should be. Here's to saying YES and to asking for what we want and need. I am really proud of you.