Questioning myself....HELP

[morgan53 48]

hi all, I don't post much but enjoy hearing about everyones' bariatric stories. I am presently in my second week of pre op shakes. I have two more weeks to go as my surgery is now schedule for Jan. 27. I have waited so long for this but now I am having second thoughts! after reading so many threads about the hunger returning in time and having to once again fight those demons I wonder what is going to be different from my past experiences with the many weight loss challenges I have been on? I am also reading an excellent book a member suggested, The Emotional First Aid Kit..A Practical Guide to Life after bariatric surgery, and it also has me thinking maybe I should give up on this journey and go back to trying to diet and re training my brain into using positive thoughts regarding fighting those hunger demons as suggested in the book. It is really an eye opener. did anyone else have second thoughts during their pre op phase. do I really want to worry about getting a leak or becoming sick if I eat too much! Some of my fears. I understand only I can make this decision, but would like some input. I can't believe I am questioning myself now at this late in the stage.

[mparkersmith 72]

Questioning yourself is normal, especially at this stage. But I can tell you, in my case, I have never been happier with the decision I made. Every day I am happier at the progress I am making both physically and emotionally on this journey. Yes, there are challenges, and I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I never could have lost now nearly 100 pounds on my own. That is a fact. I tried so, so many times.

And I can also tell you that everyone is different. I wouldn't say that eating ever has made me sick. I followed my surgeons orders, and much of the excellent advice of the people on this site who went through this process before me, and I listened carefully to my body and still do. All these things, and probably a little luck mixed in, and I can happily report that I have had a remarkably easy time of it. No throwing up, not even once. A few upset tummy aches, much discomfort at first while healing, of course, and lots of challenges while adjusting to my new sleeve, but it is so. worth. it! I wouldn't change anything, and I would never go back. This was hands down the best decision I have ever made for my health, and I hope you find success with it, too. Best of luck.

[JerseyGirl68 1,172]

You should be asking yourself the hard questions. No one should go into this without serious thought. Though I still don't feel traditional hunger at over a year out, I do at times fall victim to head hunger. The best part about it, I can't overindulge. I do my very best to not surround myself with foods that I can pick on. I have a life long weight issue, I'm simply managing it better now. Coming to grips with what triggers my emotional eating was challenging. But this time around in my life-long career as a professional dieter, I have a tool that makes it a little easier. The physical restriction is uncompromising and permanent. Yes, there may be a time where you could indulge in slider foods and thing that are high fat/calories/carbs, but you just might not. Our emotional demons, unfortunately are not removed during surgery. It's a process. You are doing what you need to, and that is such a positive decision. Believe in yourself. I am able to appreciate getting physically satisfied after eating thanks to the restriction of the sleeve. And I'm able to do it with a few ounces.

Follow your doctors advise, weigh and measure your food so you don't eat too much early on. Enjoy that it won't be as hard to lose the weight this time around. You can do it!! Best of luck to you!!

Edited January 9, 2014 by JerseyGirl68

[morgan53 48]

thank you so much for the words of encouragement!

[leslie1958 159]

You could be talking about me, I was feeling EXACTLY how you are now.

I have not had my surgery yet but I have been struggling more with this decision than anything else I've ever done. I thought maybe I could just get serious and really lose weight on my own this time, then I was worried about having an irreversible surgery and the list just went on and on. And to make matters worse, a lot of folks who had been sleeved seemed a hundred times more confident about their decision than I could ever be. I would literally wake in the night with cold sweats and panic about having this done. I'm not someone who prays (not wanting to offend anyone at all, but I'm just not) but lets just say I sent a request out into thin air and asked if I could just make a decision one way or another as this was driving me mad.

Well I got my answer, yesterday I ended up at my GP's office with insanely high BP (my doctor said I was in "stroke territory") and had to be kept there for two hours until it came down to a safe level. They also did a lot of blood work including checking me for pre-diabetes etc. I am only 55 years old.

I tell you something, you can do an awful lot of soul searching in two hours while you sit in a cold doctors office. I was plain angry at myself. I wasn't in there for a sore throat, or a sprained wrist, I was in there because I could not stop over eating, plain and simple, I COULD NOT stop over eating and yesterday this might have made me stroke or die.

I left there with a 100% certainty that I WAS having this surgery, I was not scared, I did not question it, I WAS having this surgery.

I truly and honestly wish you the same certainty no matter what your decision is !! All the best to you !!

[soflatechie 16]

Folks, my surgery is January 20th. Yesterday was my first day on pre-op, and it was a nightmare. I get up in the morning and traffic was backed up on every highway to work. It took me 2 1/2 hours to get there. Then I had to work a normal day only on shakes, chicken broth and Jello. When I get home, I still had stuff to do and no energy to do it.

By the end of the night, I was questioning EVERYTHING.

This morning things are a little better.

Maybe we should stop and recognize that the pre-op experience is not easy, and it will play with our heads. Let's stay focused and we will get through this.

Just my .02

[morgan53 48]

thanks all for your input. The pre op diet is really hard and maybe it is causing all these emotional feelings!

Edited January 9, 2014 by morgan53

[JerseyGirl68 1,172]

Folks, my surgery is January 20th. Yesterday was my first day on pre-op, and it was a nightmare. I get up in the morning and traffic was backed up on every highway to work. It took me 2 1/2 hours to get there. Then I had to work a normal day only on shakes, chicken broth and Jello. When I get home, I still had stuff to do and no energy to do it.

By the end of the night, I was questioning EVERYTHING.

This morning things are a little better.

Maybe we should stop and recognize that the pre-op experience is not easy, and it will play with our heads. Let's stay focused and we will get through this.

Just my .02

It's not always easy, but you're doing it. If you find yourself really struggling with loss of energy call your doctor and see if you can add a shake or some veggies to your pre-op. I don't know your specific situation, but if you had not been dieting or restricting foods prior to your pre-op, your body is definitely going to go through withdrawals. Caffeine, sugar, carbs, all take a few days to get out of our systems. Every day on your pre-op is a victory. Best of luck!! You can get through it!!

[Noor1969 150]

I'm ending my 4th day on pre op. Today was especially rough. I had such a bad detox headache last night that I had to get up in the middle of the night and eat a Greek yogurt. That's not allowed on this diet but I figured what the hell, it's only 8 grams of carbs. Thankfully the headache went away. I haven't been hungry, but I do feel irritable and kinda lightheaded. I have also cheated a couple of times with a cup of tea, which is also not allowed on the diet. So I'm not been 100% compliant, I've been about 98% and I think that's pretty good. I'm kinda wondering if I've lost any weight yet but I'm going to wait until my surgeon weighs me next week. Hopefully I'll get a good night's sleep tonight and tomorrow will be better.

Didn't want to derail the thread, just wanted to let you know that I'm suffering along with you! I really agree with what the vets on this board have said: the preop is the hardest part of the whole process.

[soflatechie 16]

second day pre-op and discovered something - clear chicken broth, really hot, takes away my huger. This may help someone who is having a tough time and contemplating cheating.

No it is not a steak or a chicken wing, but something warm in my stomach really helps.