Almost 1 year later...

[Obsidian 26]

First off I will start by saying that I currently have no before & after pictures to show you guys as I am in no rush to show anyone what I look like since I'm still a work in progress... so.. sorry to disappoint on that front! I WILL add some eventually but not yet. Not even most of my family has seen what I look like and they are waiting impatiently! For me it's kind of a TADA moment. Like letting my family open a present.

That being said, I am down whatever it is my ticker says... some crazy number (lost 190 lbs or so?) which is AMAZING! I can do normal things now that most people I know take for granted and it feels great. My blood pressure is generally perfectly normal (unless my anxiety is high) and my heart rate at rest is something crazy like 48 bpm.

I've still got about 100lbs to lose. It feels like a lot yet but I try to keep it in my head that I'm coming up on almost losing 200lbs since I started this journey so another 100 can't be THAT bad.

I would be closer right now if I hadn't stepped off the tracks here and there more recently and sat around nibbling crackers and such instead of eating my Proteins. I have found through experience and experimentation that if I do not get at least 65g of Protein in a day with my drinks and greek yogurts then I get RAVENOUS. So good tip if you find yourself suddenly more hungry than you've ever been and even though you were never a nibbler before you just keep nibbling GET THAT Protein UP NOW!

The holidays were rough and I got down on myself through November and December. I even had some of my old ugly depression rear it's head which only made the carb nibblemonster worse. I'm back on track now for a little bit and the weight is starting to drop again without even adding back my exercise yet as I prefer to do it one thing at a time and not overwhelm myself (besides my daily chores keep me pretty active in our new house: loading large 30-100lb logs into the wood stove 2x a day, pitchforking 100lbs or more of hay 2x a day for horses, and running out to the coop to take care of our 10 chickens in negative temperatures and 2 feet of snow).

My 33rd birthday is coming up on the 2nd of February and the 4th of February is the anniversary of my surgery. My goal is to hit 249lbs by that date although with as easy as the weight comes off me if I just stick to eating properly (about 0.5-1lb a day) I should theoretically blow past that goal. After that I'll set a new goal.

I don't regret this decision one bit. I had zero physical complications and have had zero physical complications in the almost year since the surgery.

Mentally there have been complications of course. I let myself slip up, I've overeaten, I've been down on myself repeatedly for not "doing better" and I went through a bad breakup with my relationship with food since I felt like food was my only "joy" in life so what now? The process isn't over. I am still working through these things mentally and when I look in the mirror I still feel like I am that 450+ lbs person.

I don't deny there have been *MANY* physical changes and looking back at an old picture of myself I was like %#@&! but mentally things are coming along slowly... I am working on pushing myself past my comfort zones and into new things. It takes awhile! I can't rush it! I have to be patient with myself and patience with myself has always been a problem. Patience with all other things is where I excel.

Anyway, I will try to get some before and after pictures soon.. and by soon I mean when I feel I am ready. But I wanted to share a bit of what has happened since the first moment I committed to getting the VSG and the first time I ever posted here.

[Noor1969 150]

You have an incredible story. So inspirational. I will be getting sleeved in a couple of weeks and hearing about your success has me convinced that I've made the right decision. Congratulations to you!

[rebeccasams 22]

I am so proud of you. You are such an inspiration to me. Thanks for sharing and keep updating. I can't wait for my surgery!

[Obsidian 26]

You have an incredible story. So inspirational. I will be getting sleeved in a couple of weeks and hearing about your success has me convinced that I've made the right decision. Congratulations to you!

I am glad it helps. I know that reading success stories here is part of what helped me push myself through to get the surgery done so I wanted to return the favor. I went through 50 peoples worth of second thoughts beforehand but when the day came for surgery I was surprisingly calm and resolved. My husband thought for sure there was a good chance we would walk out of there without the surgery because of how petrified of the whole thing I had been. But I was surprised at myself. You will surprise yourself too!

[sbarbiegirl 109]

Wow thanks for sharing. I was sleeved 09.27.13. Starting weight 410. Current weight 324. I hope I can do as well as you are doing when I hit my year out. You give me so much hope that I can do it!!!!

[Carlotta1 401]

That is ok if u are not ready to post pics. Your story is enough for us. You took the time and gave us "your story" that is so inspirational. You have come such a long way ..in just one year. Be proud of yourself. Seems u r having a more fulfilled life than ever. The additional 100 pounds may take more time and effort.but u have already proven that u can do whatever your mind sets it to do. We are all proud of you. Thanks for sharing ....

[mokee 588]

You are doing fantastic. Keep up the good work. So lucky to have this tool available to you at such a young age. I am very happy for you.

[Lady VS 1,147]

Well there sweetie that was mighty brave of you to share. I totally understand you're not ready to expose yourself to the world just yet. I'm proud of what you have accomplished and pray your continued success. Congratulations!

[Hunter 159]

Congratulations on your success. Don't be too hard on yourself lasting change comes slowly! The only day we can control is today so if I am depressed about my slip up of yesterday or obsessing on what I will do tomorrow I might miss the things I can do today to make my life better. Sounds like you are doing wonderful. I understand being beat up by my mind being a recovering addict I spent the first 2 years of my recovery being depressed over my unchangeable checkered past it took me a long time to realize that today is where I make a deference in my life. Now clean for 10 years and beginning this weight loss journey in August some of those should have been could have been demons are rearing their head. If I stay in today and do what I can today I have more internal peace.

Hang in there you are doing great!

[loseitsoon 157]

Wow! you are doing wonderfully!!! I know it's so hard to do and you are doing it! Good Job!

[Obsidian 26]

Thank you everyone for your kind words!

It isn't surprising how much of a mental battle this journey would be but I've learned some coping techniques for my anxiety disorder along the way as well.

The most valuable lesson I have learned is Protein. Journal your food and focus on this oh-so-important number. I know that the nutritionists always stress the Protein and I didn't realize just how important of a role it would play until I saw how much I could achieve while keeping my count where it should be versus how ravenous and easily tempted I became when I did not.

I know I sound like a broken record but we are all here to try to learn and also impart the wisdom we have learned along the way and that would be my #1 advice to anyone finding themselves struggling after the early honeymoon period.

Edited January 13, 2014 by Obsidian

[LaylaJ 17]

Thank you so much for posting your story. It is so uplifting to hear about your struggles and success. I'm hoping to have my sleeve soon. I'm 380lbs and just reading about your weight loss has given me so much hope. I pray your success continues and you continue to write about your experience.