RJ'S/beginning 5,358 Posted January 8, 2014 Yesterday it finally happened..My friend who has been a real supporter to me told me that I need to stop losing weight...I am getting too small...I asked what size clothes she wore and she said a 6-8 depending on the make...I said well I am a 14-16 and she said yes but your a Amazon and looking gaunt... I said really..I thought Amazons were fit and over 6 feet tall..she said your an Amazon to me....Okay then...She said it doesn't seem to matter your not taking care of yourself and if you don't stop you'll be back in the hospital again.... Wow...never saw that coming....Oh and she added that plastics would take care of the rest of the weight....She is just concerned and worried about me............. Sure you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
soocalchic 1,087 Posted January 8, 2014 Yesterday it finally happened..My friend who has been a real supporter to me told me that I need to stop losing weight...I am getting too small...I asked what size clothes she wore and she said a 6-8 depending on the make...I said well I am a 14-16 and she said yes but your a Amazon and looking gaunt... I said really..I thought Amazons were fit and over 6 feet tall..she said your an Amazon to me....Okay then...She said it doesn't seem to matter your not taking care of yourself and if you don't stop you'll be back in the hospital again.... Wow...never saw that coming....Oh and she added that plastics would take care of the rest of the weight....She is just concerned and worried about me............. Sure you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no need for enemies with friends like that WOW.. Give her the cold shoulder she'll come around.. 3 kltklass, nursekimberly89 and RJ'S/beginning reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Indigo1991 1,612 Posted January 8, 2014 RJ That took my breath away! A friend? Think what bothered me most was her saying that you aren't taking care of yourself. After what you've been through, if you had been careless with your health, you wouldn't be here!!!! You know the drill for future - smile sweetly and thank her for her "concern" and remind her you are under medical supervision who know what they are doing and who will tell you if you go too far! Then I'd ask her how she's doing since she's looking a bit tired and peaky since you last saw her.... 6 RJ'S/beginning, kltklass, Teachamy and 3 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RJ'S/beginning 5,358 Posted January 8, 2014 RJ That took my breath away! A friend? Think what bothered me most was her saying that you aren't taking care of yourself. After what you've been through, if you had been careless with your health, you wouldn't be here!!!! You know the drill for future - smile sweetly and thank her for her "concern" and remind her you are under medical supervision who know what they are doing and who will tell you if you go too far! Then I'd ask her how she's doing since she's looking a bit tired and peaky since you last saw her.... She fell off her roof on the weekend and I think she is in so much pain that she lashed out....I don't care really..She is just one of many that have spoken out about my looks now or everything else that I do ( wrong ) according to them.... 1 Indigo1991 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
McButterpants 2,846 Posted January 8, 2014 Don't you wish you could join her "Perfect Club"? Not!!!!!! Fell off her roof - karma????? Maybe next time Mrs. Buttinsky has an opinion she'll fall down a well. (Just kidding of course) Hope you're doing well, sweetie! 3 planetheather, Indigo1991 and RJ'S/beginning reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PdxMan 4,292 Posted January 8, 2014 Wow, if you have friends like that, I'd hate to meet one of your enemies. 4 RJ'S/beginning, McButterpants, kltklass and 1 other reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
R@VEN 27 Posted January 8, 2014 I'm so sorry she hurt your feelings. I'm sad for her also because it looks like she may have list a good friend. I just had my bypass last week but I had a lapband four three years that was placed wrong and couldn't get a fill but anyway, I found that I was constantly on display and had friends making remarks that were hurtful. I had a conversation with someone yesterday that was headed that way so I was ready this time. I want to keep our friendship so I told her we all have different journeys but still end with the same destination. I know the situation is different but maybe evaluate what her friendship means to you. If you want to save it, explain that you were hurt and how it made you feel. If she continues to be hurtful know this. Well maybe the friendship means more to you than it does to her. 4 kltklass, planetheather, BigGirlPanties and 1 other reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RJ'S/beginning 5,358 Posted January 8, 2014 Wow, if you have friends like that, I'd hate to meet one of your enemies. Yes I think you would hate to meet the friends I thought I had.........this has been a real learning experience for me...A painful one to boot!!!!!!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RJ'S/beginning 5,358 Posted January 8, 2014 Don't you wish you could join her "Perfect Club"? Not!!!!!! Fell off her roof - karma????? Maybe next time Mrs. Buttinsky has an opinion she'll fall down a well. (Just kidding of course) Hope you're doing well, sweetie! Your too funny.....she is closer to me then i am to her...she fears so much that I will end up back in the hospital and I would die......She should fear that I might break her nose instead...LOL 9 kltklass, Miss Mac, jdmama911 and 6 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BigGirlPanties 957 Posted January 8, 2014 Some people don't know what to say or how to handle our "change"... and she could, genuinely, be concerned about you; but just doesn't know how to convey it in a proper manner... that said, I agree ... if her friendship is important (as most are), speak to her and let her know that what she said was hurtful...if she continues; then you know what you have to do... 1 RJ'S/beginning reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RXG 46 Posted January 8, 2014 It sounds like she's just really dependent on you and scared that she might lose you. The problem is that she's not educated about the surgery or why you've set your goals where you have. It's also not good that she can look at you and tell you to stop losing, but if she gained to your current weight, she'd been fighting mad to get back to her current size. I say don't dump her, just chalk it up to her accident, love for you and a huge amount of selfishness. 1 RJ'S/beginning reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nursekimberly89 50 Posted January 8, 2014 Or maybe she is afraid her "fat friend" will soon pass her in the "looks" department.. 8 fotogrphr, Dorothy76, jdmama911 and 5 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RJ'S/beginning 5,358 Posted January 8, 2014 Or maybe she is afraid her "fat friend" will soon pass her in the "looks" department.. Don't see that happening.....I never looked like Barbie, she did...lol Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jdmama911 224 Posted January 9, 2014 I am only 1/2 way to my goal, but I've gotten this in the past few weeks "Oh you look so good, I really need to start losing weight or you're going to pass me soon." I mean, I've heard it probably 5 times in the past 2 weeks. I seriously want to rip their throats out when I hear that. My sister has even lost 35lbs. since she saw me at Thanksgiving (Plexus). (I got within 25 lbs. of her, and that hasn't happened since we were kids..she was always the thin one.) For now, Im giving my friends a by. But, if I notice more catty behavior as the weight comes off, I may have to cut ties. I hope your friend just slipped up, but that is insane to me she said that to you when she is that much smaller than you. And to call you an Amazon? Wow. To make the comment she thinks you'll end up in the hospital again? Wow. 1 RJ'S/beginning reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RJ'S/beginning 5,358 Posted January 9, 2014 I am only 1/2 way to my goal, but I've gotten this in the past few weeks "Oh you look so good, I really need to start losing weight or you're going to pass me soon." I mean, I've heard it probably 5 times in the past 2 weeks. I seriously want to rip their throats out when I hear that. My sister has even lost 35lbs. since she saw me at Thanksgiving (Plexus). (I got within 25 lbs. of her, and that hasn't happened since we were kids..she was always the thin one.) For now, Im giving my friends a by. But, if I notice more catty behavior as the weight comes off, I may have to cut ties. I hope your friend just slipped up, but that is insane to me she said that to you when she is that much smaller than you. And to call you an Amazon? Wow. To make the comment she thinks you'll end up in the hospital again? Wow. That's just mean....my sister is like that too..She was always happy that I weighed more then her...she does not know about my WLS...But she does know I got sick and so I lost some weight...She just doesn't know how much...My hubby says he will have to set himself in position to catch her when she sees me for the first time in 7 years...Or he said maybe he won't catch her...I have no idea what that means...tongue in cheek!!!!!!!!! 3 kltklass, planetheather and jdmama911 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites