Im a mess, I cant stop crying, Please help me

[Lap_dancer 8]

Worth the Wait

My daughter came home from summer camp in her senior year of high school. She broke up with her longtime boyfriend for a guy who sang to her, played guitar and filled her head with poetry. They dated and went steady. He tried out for and got a position in a local band which was his dream. What a whirlwind relationship, her dates with him gave her backstage access and special treatment. But being his girl was so bumpy, complicated and filled with highs and lows. Still, she hung in there for several years until the other girls became more than she could handle. "Fans" they were. They brokeup but stayed friends. She loved him so much. She graduated high school and went on to college. All those special holidays came and went and since they were not technically sweethearts, she spent most of those holidays alone. He strung her along until she just quit caring. Several years went by and he would call, they would meet to catchup and she would find her heart swelling for him. Eventually she just stopped seeing him to protect her hurting heart. She valued her heart and decided she would wait for the right one to come along. She focused on her studies and got use to being alone. She went to concerts ALONE, she went to parties alone. Being alone wasn't so bad and she became stronger because of it. Then out of the blue one day she was at a store and bumped into a friend, with her pal was a guy she recognized from high school years ago. He was home on leave from the Army. She found that he had become so cute with time, so handsome and "manly" looking with that self confidence most soldiers possess. She casually invited him over and promised to cook him a home cooked meal before he left for Iraq and he took her up on it. The evening went great even though the dinner was not so good. Her dad liked him, her brother liked him which was a first for them both to like a guy she brought home. They wrote over the next year while he was in Iraq and by the time he returned, they had solid plans for a Christmas filled with adventures. When he got home, it was love at first sight, by January, he invited her to go back to Washington state with him and he would show her the national monuments as well as Devil's Tower, Wyoming. She took him up on it.

After her trip when she got home, she realized she had never loved anyone like this before. He was mature, he took care of her flying her home from Washington and buying her souviniers she picked out. One night on the phone they opened up their hearts and she said " I waited four years for you" and he said " I waited three years for you". They realized that waiting for the right one was worth the wait! *and wedding plans are in the works*

Hold tight. Something awesome is coming your way. Just expect it and be patient for it. Meanwhile, focus on you and take some time to spoil yourself.

[bsoutherngirl 10]

I don't have any advise, but I'm sorry that you're going through all of this at the same time...and I'm sending you (((((HUGS))))

[sherilynn 1]

HPB...

I am sorry for you pain. I have been there; it's all too familiar. I was your age when that 'wonderful' guy broke up with me. "God Bless the Broken Road". Everything happens for a reason - you may not know the reason now, in a week or even in a month. But trust and KNOW it gets easier. Right now, you contacting him is not the best thing for you - but you'll do it. Its just a girls way of doing things. From you other posts, he really was a drag - to you, and me *just hearing how he treats you!!

Didn't you just post that you said you think he's gay? You may have to face that he's trying to figure himself out too.

This is a process, a very physical process of healing. It's a bad time; b/c you really DO need to put all of your energies into YOU...not an 'ok' relationship at very best.

You are NOT alone.

[ouachita 0]

There has been some really good advice posted for you here, so please excuse my blunt 2 cents worth.

Think about it, do you REALLY want to spend the rest of your life with some ditchweed who bails out on you when you just had surgery? Especially surgery that will help transform you into a woman who'd turn the head of any man? How would he react when real problems pop up? Come on girl, he ain't worth the dirt on the bottom of your shoes! Good riddance to bad rubbish I say.

Stick to your goals and work the band Honey! Now's the time to focus on you and what is best for you, and I assure you that he is NOT what is best for you.

I think he was probably an emotional crutch you were using and it's time you learned to throw the crutch away and learn to walk on your on. It may be painful and tough to do now but someday you will see it was the best thing that happened to you.

Someday you'll look back and wonder just what in the hell was it you thought you saw in him.

[DonnaMarie 0]

Lot's of good advice here darlin.. I dont have too too much to add..

One thing I will say is this.. you dont NEED a man to have a great life.. and a man doesnt NEED a woman to have a great life.. when I started realizing this, I became truely happy and finally found my true love! My fiance and I (yes getting married in May in Vegas!) are very happy and truely supportive of each other and enhance each other's lives..

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't support you, calls you names the first chance he gets angry, and would throw you under a bus just to make himself look better or for revenge?

I say, when you are feeling better, spruce yourself up, and go out in your "red high heels"!! Enjoy being an independent woman.. someone who made the decision to change the rest of her life and don't take any crap from anyone!!

Hang in there!

~Donnamarie~

[Mischievous1 6]

After my biggest heartbreak - I would go to the gym - workout my hardest and chant in my head "pain is preferrable" sounds weird, but it was healing and I lost weight and looked great ( after a year I met my new husband there too) the other thing I did to pass time and work out the thoughts in my head was to go to the local high school track and walk and cry and walk and cry and not stop until I was done crying. I know I looked nuts, but it's better than pacing around the house and eating.

[reqgoddess 0]

HPB,

It is horrible timing on his part but you will get through this. Even though , believe it or not, you may be better off without him (do you really want someone who does this to you at a time like this?) your main focus needs to be "get better, heal stomach heal; get thin". You need to take care of you. You need to get BACK to you. I know what it is like to lose that person you were, not just the skinny person you were, but the self assured, confident skinny person you were. Now you took the healthy steps to get YOU back. Do it and keep saying to yourself that you can do it, you will do it. Even if you do it with the idea that it is for getting HIM back as you get skinnier. Fine. Show him you are strong. Believe it or not, men like that. Show him that you don't need him , and thatyou may want him , but you don't need him to get to health. What will probably happen is that you will look fantastic, you will be healthier body and mind and you will be having to choose which guy for which night for dates, there will be so many. It may turn out that you won't be chossing him for any of them (lol). But even if you do, he will respect you more and be amazed at your beauty and strength. BTW, i had an ex who used to tell me that "no man (other then him) would want a fat piece of s_it" like me. I threw him out and 2 months later was dating a man that I am now engaged to. He is a wonderful man that I loved when I was in my 20's. He knew me when I was a bone, and loves me now even though I am not (a bone any longer). However, now that I had the surgery, I am looking forward to being a "bone" again , of course not a 20 yr old bone, but a nice 40 something yr old bone (lol). Cheer up. Believe me, get YOU together and THEY (even him) will coming crawling.