how we look at ourselves

[Jack 855]

we all put on some kind of 'face' either to deal with the world, or with our own expectatoin of how we *should but don't* look.

Someone sent a link on celebrities without makeup. I didn't recognize many, but here's one to illustrate what I'm trying to talk about:

I think at times in my preOp life I tried to apply OverEating as some kind of cosmetic enhancement for my imagined physcical defects.

Don't think that old script plays in my eating behavior any more.

[lisacaron 5,075]

Ah...my Grandmother always used to tell me "powder and Paint make you what you ain't." I find that to be true. Not always in a negative way either.

Sometimes dressing up your short comings or covering up the things that make you feel and look not so great aren't a bad thing. It's all in the mind set of how you look at it, and when I am feeling less then great I will try to make an extra effort to jazz up the make up or the clothing to add a little pep to my step.

When you look good you feel good...and if you don't...you can fake it till you make it!

However, on the flip side Jack I understand what you mean about covering up with food and overeating. At one point in my life I also had the idea that if I was heavy then people wouldn't look at me and make me uncomfortable.

The truth was they were still looking at me, and now some were judging me for my size too.

I had to learn to be comfortable in my own body and in my own skin no matter what it's size and shape. To love me for me and not judge myself. That is what has helped me to stop thinking that by being obese I might fade into the background.

That's just not in the cards for this little fire ball. So might as well shine as bright as can be!!!!

[Jack 855]

Nicely put......my post was perhaps somewhat more clumbsy than I had intended, yet has the point so it seems.

Cheers on yorr journey.

[B-52 7,113]

I love my new body and I love the new me.....so yes I concentrate on my grooming and dress more now than when I did 40 years ago.

Not to mention I can now wear clothes that look and fit good I never dreamed I could again.

I'm a 62 year old man, and yes I go the spa for facials.....my wife buys packages to save $$ and I will use a few.

[Corey Coffey 12]

when you are obesee/morbidly obesee it is difficult to look at yourself sometimes period. When we take the step and have WLS then change happens sometimes it is hard to physically "see" our "new" self. I've lost almost 100 pounds with my band and to my husband and friends and family I look "totally' different. Yes I'm still considered plus sized (i'm currently a size 16/18 14/16W) depending on what the item is. That's a far cry from the 22/24 26/28 I was almost 4 years ago when I thought about doing something about my weight.

Getting rid of my baggy clothes in the begining was fun, my husband went and bought me new smaller things. Now as I'm "exiting" the true wommen's sizes in the store and going elsewhere. I feel strange, forgien and kind of scared. I don't know why I feel this way. I guess I still see my fat self. I zone in on my arms and bobs(still huge) and my legs. My husband says I'm volumptuous but to me I still see F A T.

This is the part of the journey that no one talks about. And I wonder can I go another 50 pounds and get into a weight that is below 200 lbs? How will I feel? I notice that the guys look, some of them even stare. It makes me feel so self concious. I'm working on it. Weeding out the clohtes that are so big even a taylor could not help them, and agreing to having some of my nicer clothes taken in to show off my shape. That is hard after living in boxy clothing for so long to think that I have a shape is shocking. And my husband encourages this bad behavior(bless his heart).

I stalled out for almost a year and it sucked I even regained weight, then the weight came off I stoped seeing my WLS surgon because I was discusted with myself. I basically snapped. Come to find out something is not right with me in the endocrine department and that can kill weight loss. So back to more doctors and hopefuly a rebound of my metabolism so i can maybe see what ife is like below that 200 marker on the scale. 170 are you an illusion or a reality?

---Kouri