On the fence

[thea 0]

Guess I'm on the Fence. So many other health issues that I need to deal with. I know I'm an emotional eater so I think that regardless, some days are better than others, I just need to stay focused. I'm diabetic as well, T2 w/ meds. With all the posts I've read of folks falling off the wagon regardless of being banded I have to stop and question myself. Is this the right path for me? Or do I just need more time with a counsellor about my emotional bagage. The band isn't a cure all, this i know, but it is a physical reminder that you can't go and eat whatever and get away with it. Likewise, being diabetic, I can either follow my diet and eat what my body can handle or eat whatever and hurt myself instead. I have a stepsister that had her stomache decreased a few years ago, she still ate as she liked and only in the last year has she even bothered trying to follow something suitable for her surgical needs. She has lost weight and I congrat her, but I've seen Her pics and she looks dead. skin eyes her body shape... she looks seriously unhealthy. I apollogize to everyone, but getting the scales out and weighting the pros and cons of just trying harder or having a band... I'm really on the fence. Possibly one reason? I would not want my family knowing I got the band. they would be all over me about the cost, what was i thinking and why didn't you just try harder and say "No".

All my best to everyone Who choose this path, You are very brave. Stay strong and believe in Yourself.

thank you

thea2

[SandyM 1,956]

I believe everyone of us has been where you are. I too had reservations and now I believe its the best thing I have ever done for myself. In the beginning, I told a total of 3 people and swore them to secrecy. My husband finally made me tell my 2 kids and they were very supportive and still are. As for your diabetes, most who have the band are able to get their blood sugars totally under control. You also sound very depressed and weight control will help you with that provided its not clinical. Its your decision. As for everyone who falls off the band=wagon and gains weight, that can happen with any of us. We still have to follow rules to maintain. This will never change. Its just much easier with the band. You have a "friend". Stay on the forum and keep reading. Your decision doesn't need to be made without a lot of thought and consideration. But, as for trying harder and losing the weight on your own, I'll bet you've tried that many times, right?

[Leepers 1,195]

One thing you have to realize is that most people don't take the time to get online and give their opinion until something is "wrong." Do you think insurance companies would pay millions of dollars out for a procedure that didn't work the majority of the time? No way! There are thousands of successful banders that don't get online.

Having said that, it is not something you should do unless you are committed.

Having said that, everyone had doubts and fears. I was riddled with them. But I knew I had to take control of my life and my health. One of the greatest things was meeting a woman who had the band and she told me it was the best thing she had ever done.

Don't let the negative Nancy's sway you from what could be the best decision of your life. Just make sure that you are ready to commit.

[blueturtle 74]

I totally understand about not telling people especially family. I have only told my grandmother and that is b/c she is my POA for Health Care and will be all for me losing weight. As she asks me every visit with her what I am doing to lose weight :/ My mother on the other hand will "Google" tons of information and share it with me, which would then probablly scare the bee gee bes out of me and I won't have the surgery. I see negatives on the site, but I also see Tons of positives. I talked to my nutritionist and surgeon about my concerns and they both feel the surgery is right for me and will help me. I'm in my 30's and if I don't get this weight off soon the rest of my life is going to be very unhealthy. I feel like I still have time to live and enjoy life before I get to the age where physical limitations are inevitable. We are too young to have limitations now. Those are for "old people" LOL.

[gowalking 10,790]

This will work for you as long as you are committed to changing some really bad, and probably life long habits. It's real easy to eat around the band and self sabotage. I truly believe that the band will work for you as long as you have the support you need, either with a professional or a group in your area, or even on this site...especially as it seems you would not have family supporting you.

This is a journey we rarely make alone even though success or failure is almost always of our own doing. Do your investigating...be thorough, read posts on this site, talk to your doctor, and wishing you well with whatever decision you make.

[SandyM 1,956]

I've seen Her pics and she looks dead. skin eyes her body shape... she looks seriously unhealthy..

Also, I'll just add, this is not typical with the band. Now, true, if you are carrying a lot of weight, you probably will have some loose skin, but not the unhealthy look. In fact, my skin is better than it was when I had all of the extra weight cuz circulation is improved.

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

Hi Thea,

I was on the fence about WLS for a while - I'd seen success stories, but I wasn't sure this was truly for me. I had been through all the typical methods: liquid Protein, fasting, TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly), Weight Watchers, you name it. It hadn't worked - any of it, because I hadn't make the LIFESTYLE and MINDSET changes that are truly necessary for success.

I want to urge you to take your own advice, darling - "Stay strong and believe in Yourself". I'm also an emotional eater - but that can be worked on! I'm also a Type 2 Diabetic, but you can also stay in compliance with that and continue to work on it while you are banded - but you know that...

Time with a counselor is a great idea - and you can do it before and after being banded! No, the band isn't a cure-all, WE still have to do some of the work, but all of this can be done together! We are not "fixed" entities - human beings are forever growing and changing...so start the process of getting qualified for your lap-band (if you haven't done this already) and while you are awaiting surgery, keep working on the other mental and emotional issues that you want resolved.

Sometimes getting a surgery date "forces" us to pay attention and focus our efforts on being as ready as we can be for the surgery and the lifestyle changes to come afterwards. Its as if the deadline (surgery day) puts the motivation into the situation and we use the deadline to force ourselves to move...I know it was like that for me.

I can say that losing weight via the lap-band, at a moderate but steady pace, will help other health issues to resolve - they did for me!

I've also seen people who have had other surgeries (what worked for THEM) and the rapid loss can cause some challenges with their physical appearance (just my opinion).

I've read studies that indicate that once an individual is 50 lbs overweight or more, willpower is just NOT enough. There are chemical systems in our bodies that literally PREVENT us from doing the right thing where food is concerned. "Diets" or "eating plans" often do NOT incorporate the WHOLE person - physical, mental and emotional. Start the work on your mindset and emotions, follow the path toward your lap-band, and see it as a TOOL - a process and a physical aid that will help you reach your goals.

Please let us know how you are doing, and if I can be of further assistance, I'm willing. This forum and the people on it were there for me when I started investigating my lap band (I was banded in Nov 2008) and I wouldn't change a thing - except maybe to work on ME more before surgery.

Blessings,

[Bandista 7,466]

Hi Thea, you are definitely doing the right thing researching all you can. For me, finding this forum was so helpful. I joined in June and was banded in November. It can be a long process and I was glad that I also got a therapist at the same time. I wanted to have every base covered and I was worried that emotional eating may keep me from being a success. I liked having the accountability of meeting with a therapist to discuss food issues. We really worked on the triggers -- breaking down the desire for food so I came to understand better what I was doing. The band is designed to dim the appetite, so having it gives me the extra mental space and ability to ask myself the questions that keep me from overeating. Do I need that? Am I really hungry? Before I just couldn't do it -- I would jump right into the behavior knowing full well what I was doing but deciding I was going to do it anyway. The band is keeping me from doing that.

For me, getting the band was a way of choosing myself and my health first. I knew I needed to do something to change the direction of the way my physical body was going. I'm 52 and have serious joint issues, high blood pressure and sleep apnea. I don't want to age prematurely. I want to have a vibrant full life and I want to be as pain-free as possible. I also really wanted the conversations in my head around food to stop. I felt like I was thinking about food and overthinking eating all the time. Can I have it, should I have it, I'm having it anyway, I shouldn't have had it, etc. Very mixed up after so many years of dieting, deprivation and the inevitable swing back the other way. Getting the band has stopped those voices in my head questioning everything to do with food.

I have only told a handful of people about my band. My husband, our son, a supportive cousin who is also my workout partner, and a few friends. I didn't tell my parents. My mother has handed me every single diet book for the last twenty years and I know my weight makes her uncomfortable not just because of my health but because I am not as presentable as she would like. It's a terrible thing to say, but there it is. And I didn't want my parents, who are elderly, to be worried about me. I don't want any one monitoring how it is going unless I initiate that conversation and I didn't want to risk negative feedback.

The main thing is you are plugging in to your health and deciding to do something -- whatever it is. You are not glazing over the issues and continuing down a negative path. It's very empowering to be in that place where you decide to take hold of the issue. I think it's good to have a partner in that process and I recommend a therapist. Even though I had done quite a bit of work on myself before, it felt very different since I was fully admitting my inability to diet on my own and that I was eating inappropriately. It wasn't just genetic issues, all the frustrations of dieting over the years, the yo-yo syndrome. It was me, not able to stop overeating.

Wishing you the very best and a healthful new year!