Struggling...is it too late?

[pianogal7733 33]

Hi everyone. Hope your holidays and New Year have been great. It's late here where I am and what am I doing? Thinking...thinking about how much I've slipped, how I honestly feel lost even after 2 years post op, how I let myself get back into old habits, how I have a horrible time sleeping and resting, how stress is an awful thing to endure, and how I'd like to kick my own butt if that were physically possible. :/ I'm up....up in weight. I feel it, I see it, my clothes don't lie, and my body just doesn't feel good. I've had some physical problems that have limited my exercise drastically, so what did I do? Stopped it all together!!! sleep...what is that word that I hear so many people talk about? My "sleep" is so far off I say what's the use. I'm up all night hurting due to a physical problem I have. I try and try different things to help me sleep, but to no avail. I usually wear myself down somewhere between 5-6 am. Then I have to sleep 3-4 hours or I cannot function then I'm just as tired as ever as though I didn't sleep a wink. My eating schedule is off. I eat whatever I can get my hands on cause I'm famished. I need help!! I lost 120 lbs and went from 273 down to 150. Now I'm back up to 168 and I know it may not sound like much to some people...it's a load to me...or that's how I feel. I'm discouraged, tired, I feel lost like I don't know what to do, and I feel frustrated at myself. I guess I'm just sharing this because I know there are others out there that understand how I feel and maybe can offer some insight. My family are all supportive and I'm grateful. But they all sleep well, feel good, have a schedule with school, work, ect. They eat what they want and never try and get me to eat anything that they do....that ones on me. I don't know, I'm just struggling. I need this weight gone, my Protein intake to increase, I want to sleep normal, I want to have the motivation to exercise or do what I can with my disability. I just want to feel healthy again. I'm sorry I overloaded those that may read this, but I know someone here will understand. Thanks for your time and I'm glad there's a place I can come to where I don't have to feel alone in this journey. I appreciate you all and your input

Leah

[moi1234 1]

WOW! i thought i was reading my own story! mine is very similar to yours. Except, i was 305 lbs in 2004 and lost 156 lbs. Was all the way down to 149 lbs and loving my life, my new body, then hurt myself running, and was told to stop running and do other cardio exercises. well, i didn't stop, and that caused major back problems which lead to emergency back surgery, and partial paralysis of my right foot. Now, I weight 235 lbs, and my weight continues to climb. Mostly due to steroid shots, and not being able to exercise. I have become very depressed, and i have realized that i use eating as my escape, and i eat everything and anything that is bad for me! Im at a loss and feel completely out of control. I went from taking no pills at all with all my medical problems going away, to now more medical issues than before, including sleep apnea, insomnia, osteoporosis, diabetes, all which I NEVER had before, and i have now! Very discouraging.

Im sorry you are going thru what you are going thru. Im not the best person to give advice, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone and Im here for support! Hang in there!

[KellyLessBelly 31]

Hi everyone. Hope your holidays and New Year have been great. It's late here where I am and what am I doing? Thinking...thinking about how much I've slipped, how I honestly feel lost even after 2 years post op, how I let myself get back into old habits, how I have a horrible time sleeping and resting, how stress is an awful thing to endure, and how I'd like to kick my own butt if that were physically possible. :/ I'm up....up in weight. I feel it, I see it, my clothes don't lie, and my body just doesn't feel good. I've had some physical problems that have limited my exercise drastically, so what did I do? Stopped it all together!!! Sleep...what is that word that I hear so many people talk about? My "sleep" is so far off I say what's the use. I'm up all night hurting due to a physical problem I have. I try and try different things to help me sleep, but to no avail. I usually wear myself down somewhere between 5-6 am. Then I have to sleep 3-4 hours or I cannot function then I'm just as tired as ever as though I didn't sleep a wink. My eating schedule is off. I eat whatever I can get my hands on cause I'm famished. I need help!! I lost 120 lbs and went from 273 down to 150. Now I'm back up to 168 and I know it may not sound like much to some people...it's a load to me...or that's how I feel. I'm discouraged, tired, I feel lost like I don't know what to do, and I feel frustrated at myself. I guess I'm just sharing this because I know there are others out there that understand how I feel and maybe can offer some insight. My family are all supportive and I'm grateful. But they all sleep well, feel good, have a schedule with school, work, ect. They eat what they want and never try and get me to eat anything that they do....that ones on me. I don't know, I'm just struggling. I need this weight gone, my Protein intake to increase, I want to sleep normal, I want to have the motivation to exercise or do what I can with my disability. I just want to feel healthy again. I'm sorry I overloaded those that may read this, but I know someone here will understand. Thanks for your time and I'm glad there's a place I can come to where I don't have to feel alone in this journey. I appreciate you all and your input

Leah

It is not too late! You might not be able to exercise like you used to, but you can do something and you can change your eating habits TODAY!!! This is the good news. The bad news is that it sounds like you are struggling with mind over matter and possibly some depression. Many people with physical pain suffer depression and need therapy and sometimes medication to get through it. You may want to consider getting help with this. We were not created to handle our issues alone! I was so glad to read that it was 18lbs and not hundreds. You can do this!!!

[ajustice 484]

So sorry to hear things aren't going to great. The good news is the tool that helped you lose the 1st time is still in place. I don't have a lot of 1st hand knowledge to tell as I'm not as far out. I have heard of folks doing the 5 day pouch test to try to jump start and get back into the diet and way of eating.

As a nurse tho I can recommend seeing someone to talk things out with. Depression is a real deal and can hinder weight loss efforts. Exercising isn't in the cards for now but maybe some talk therapy could help with the feelings and also the sleep. Insomnia can go hand in hand with depression.

Good luck it jump starting things. All isn't lost! You did this before and you CAN do it again!! You've got this!!!

[SnowDaisy 73]

The five day pouch test sounds like a good idea to me.

Go girl...x

[cbsweet33 4]

I also have a struggle going on with my weight gain. I would also suggest talking with someone regarding your sleep issues. I also want you to know that is NEVER too late! I'm not giving up and you shouldn't either! It isn't going to be easy, none of this has been. I've lost, then I gained. I'm going to loose again and you can too. I need to do better at logging what I eat...no matter what it is...good or bad. I will write it down so I can see it and then make better choices, I hope. I am hoping the good eating habits will lead to better exercise and less stress. We can only give it our best and try and try and try.

[Dorian 683]

I have dealt with chronic back pain for years so I get exactly where you are coming from! I actually had wls to lose weight so I could have back surgery. After seeing several spine surgeons they all agreed that I needed my back fixed but no one would do it at 340lbs. I couldn't exercise at all, not even walking. I was severely depressed and drank alot. I get your frustration with weight coming on but being unable to exercise. But you do still have the tool in place to be able to change! I have heard that starting over with the liquid diet and going back to the basics will help "restart" your body and the tool. It IS NOT TOO LATE MY FRIEND! Take baby steps and you will be successful once again. We are all here to help you and encourage you! I wish you the best of luck. You can do it!

[pianogal7733 33]

Wow!!! Thank you all so much!!! I have smiled as I finished reading these. It's nice to not feel alone. I did a lot of thinking today and came to the realization that tomorrow is a new day. Not just a cliche but it's true! I can start over! Someone mentioned baby steps and I wrote those very words in my notebook at church today. Even a baby step is one step closer than I was. Thank you all for your understanding and kind words. I can do this....we can do this. Good luck to you all!!

[music1618 879]

Well you and I have a lot in common. I just passed 19 months post op. I understand the issues with pain and not sleeping. From time to time I fall into an eating trap and eat junk food. I have rheumatoid arthritis and have had it for ten years. Also my mom is disabled due to failed back surgeries. So I have two different perspectives to give you.

Let's start with food. Our bodies need the right nutrition to function properly. Protein, carbs and fats and sugars are essential food for the body in some way. The trick is to balance it out. I found that logging my food really helped. I had gotten into a habit of eating junk food a lot and found that it was when I would stop at a gas station while driving around at work. So I changed my habit. I made sure I have snack food in the truck waiting for me. My mother how ever eats whatever sounds good. Which mainly is sweets. She will take a few bites and then stop. I have lots of energy and my mom has none.

Next exercise. With RA it is best to stay active. If you lay in bed and do nothing your joint freeze up causing you more pain. So the trick is finding something you can do, and something you enjoy. You want to make sure you do not over do it when you get started. You also need to be aware that you might be sore as you get started. My suggestions for exercise is, walking, gentle yoga, Water exercises. Gentle yoga is designed or people with health issues. You do the yoga in a chair for the most part and it is about stretching and moving your joints.

Finally let's talk about sleep. Ugh!!! Sleep is essential for our bodies, and yet sometimes it seems our bodies fight it so much. With RA I don't get restful sleep all the time. I may be asleep, but I wake up not feeling rested. Talk to your doctors about this. I take melatonin quite often to help me get to sleep, but not a lot will help me stay awake. Exercising during the day should help with getting to sleep at night.

It sounds like the physical issues are a new diagnosis, and I would encourage you to talk to a professional. There are stages of grief that you go through especially if this is a long term issue.

I am happy to help with any questions or support that you need.

[normaleigh 7]

I'm a 8 year veteran and have been there and still struggle with some things. I'd be happy to talk to you to let you know Its possible and your fine. We all hit bumps in the road and it will continue you just have to not beat up on yourself which will make it worse. Trust me. Lol. Also as time passes you will learn what works best for you. Also I bounce 10 lbs either up or down all the time but I've learned its normal and a lot of post ops deal with this. Hang in there. It will get better.

[bestloser 55]

sounds about normal to me... the weight gain that is...I actually gain from 10 to 15 pounds here and there, but for some strange reason I lose it all. the depression needs to be addressed... I can see why you get a little down.... we don't want to gain a pound... I'm a 10 year vet. so keep your head up and no matter what keep it moving somehow... good luck

[pianogal7733 33]

Thank you all for responding. Your kind words, encouragement, and advice are very much appreciated. I have an upcoming appt with my dr to discuss sleep and depression. I'm very optimistic and my husband and children have been wonderful at supporting me. I'm proud to say that I've upped my Protein and do what activity I can in regards to my disability and I've upped my Water and using a food journal and so far I'm down 2.8lbs!! It's a start and I'm ecstatic over it!!! My son is overweight and we've been doing this together. He's a precious boy and is excited to be doing this as a team with mom!! I feel better today than when I originally posted this thread. I've prayed, put my best foot forward, and I'm looking forward, not behind me. Thank you all for helping me. This site is a blessing! It makes a world of difference to know I'm not alone in a crowded room, I have others that understand the ups and downs, defeats and best of all victories in this journey. I thank The Lord that He lead me here and for all of you that have taken time out to listen and offer me help. I will keep you all posted!! God bless!!

[Miss M 4]

Hi everyone. Hope your holidays and New Year have been great. It's late here where I am and what am I doing? Thinking...thinking about how much I've slipped, how I honestly feel lost even after 2 years post op, how I let myself get back into old habits, how I have a horrible time sleeping and resting, how stress is an awful thing to endure, and how I'd like to kick my own butt if that were physically possible. :/ I'm up....up in weight. I feel it, I see it, my clothes don't lie, and my body just doesn't feel good. I've had some physical problems that have limited my exercise drastically, so what did I do? Stopped it all together!!! sleep...what is that word that I hear so many people talk about? My "sleep" is so far off I say what's the use. I'm up all night hurting due to a physical problem I have. I try and try different things to help me sleep, but to no avail. I usually wear myself down somewhere between 5-6 am. Then I have to sleep 3-4 hours or I cannot function then I'm just as tired as ever as though I didn't sleep a wink. My eating schedule is off. I eat whatever I can get my hands on cause I'm famished. I need help!! I lost 120 lbs and went from 273 down to 150. Now I'm back up to 168 and I know it may not sound like much to some people...it's a load to me...or that's how I feel. I'm discouraged, tired, I feel lost like I don't know what to do, and I feel frustrated at myself. I guess I'm just sharing this because I know there are others out there that understand how I feel and maybe can offer some insight. My family are all supportive and I'm grateful. But they all sleep well, feel good, have a schedule with school, work, ect. They eat what they want and never try and get me to eat anything that they do....that ones on me. I don't know, I'm just struggling. I need this weight gone, my Protein intake to increase, I want to sleep normal, I want to have the motivation to exercise or do what I can with my disability. I just want to feel healthy again. I'm sorry I overloaded those that may read this, but I know someone here will understand. Thanks for your time and I'm glad there's a place I can come to where I don't have to feel alone in this journey. I appreciate you all and your input

Leah

Try eliminating coffee and cola items from your diet as the caffeine seems to make most people insomniacs also try to darken the bedroom as much as possible and if you're not lactose try warm milk before bed. If these don't seem to help then you could try melatonin.

[Candy V 5]

Wow!!! Thank you all so much!!! I have smiled as I finished reading these. It's nice to not feel alone. I did a lot of thinking today and came to the realization that tomorrow is a new day. Not just a cliche but it's true! I can start over! Someone mentioned baby steps and I wrote those very words in my notebook at church today. Even a baby step is one step closer than I was. Thank you all for your understanding and kind words. I can do this....we can do this. Good luck to you all!!

My best friend told me something that stuck with me "we have an endless supply of new beginnings". You have got this!

[bestloser 55]

I know that seems like a lot of weight... but it is not... I get up to that same weight every winter... and then it comes off.... but I'm 10 years out...not 2... don't sweat it.... real talk... just go get busy...start small ... walk around the house... go up and down the steps.... constantly.... keep moving...turn on the radio and dance...dance dance...plz eliminate soda from your diet.... and late night snacking...buy some fruit... ITS GOING TO BE OK.... just start... one step at a time....I'm cheering you on... god bless.... its going to be ok