Maintenance, life at goal, the thoughts that go through my mind as a "vet"

[CowgirlJane 14,260]

When I was losing weight, I worked hard and was continually amazed that I could do it. I mean, after so many failures - including with the lapband, it was almost too good to be true.

I have been at goal and maintaining since Feb 2013 - almost a year. I haven't lost my focus or even my sense of wonder about it. My body continues to change and become more and more normal. I feel the remnants of the 300#+ slowly fading away and being replaced by a normal/average looking body. I have been told that I don't look at all like someone who was ever the least bit overweight (who knows what that means exactly but the speaker was referring to my thin calves - no cankles...LOL)

What I do sometimes notice is a certain "worry"... like what if I regain? Will I handle it as well as so many others that post here regularly have (ie keep working the sleeve and relose that gain) or will I repeat my old demon pattern of just throwing in the towel and giving up (like I did with the lapband)... and I have no doubt the regain this time would probably put me at 400#. It is a scary thought actually.

Anyway, I don't spend alot of time thinking about the negatives, but maintenance is a different kind of headspace. It is really learning, and adjusting and finding that new life at goal weight. How to keep it without being consumed by the Quest for a certain body size (weight or whatever).

I think my primarily goal for 2014 is to maintain, one more year. I like to think in smaller chunks - I can visualize maintaining throughout 2014 so that is what I focus on. I would also like to increase my muscle/reduce body fat percentage. I don't even know what it is, so I would like to get measured and assess my progress in that way.

Not really a new years resolution as those always seem to fall by the wayside. Mine is more a mindset - I don't have a choice, I have to maintain for one more year.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

This is so true. It is a mindset we need to keep....I have the same history and I do not want this history to repeat it's self......I need to work on staying focused and not throwing in the towel when stressors come my way.... Thanks for sharing this cgj

[Jenny12 361]

I like it! Maintain for a year....much less overwhelming. I will join you. great job!

[gmanbat 5,889]

Very well said. We've been through the superficial promises to self period. We know this is a commitment to the bone, a marraige not a casual engagement. This is a matter of life and half-life, of freedom or wasting away in a prison of our own making.

I feel blessed that I have been born in such a time that medical science has given us a chance for a renewed life. It is a great priviledge to be one that became aware of this possibility and escaped from the maddening loop of endless effort with no results.

You will maintain and continue to see your life unfold in brightness. So will I.

[carstanger 346]

I'm a couple of pounds below my goal weight....Now to reach goal weight on the doctor's scale. I am finally within the normal BMI rather than morbidly obese!!! Love to go clothes shopping...Now to buy a new belt as it it flapping with the extra length. Need new golf shoes too!!!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I have only been in maintenance for a month. Trying to figure out what that looks/feels like, and have the "fear" just a little as well... but try not to let it dominate my experience. The other day my husband asked me why I am still hanging around on "that website" and not just doing what I have to do and move on. This was in response to me bitching about how much time and head space I need to dedicate to losing and maintaining... and he just didn't get it. I would love to just live by the seat of my pants, but that train takes me to fat town every time! So there you go. Luckily (yes I said luckily) it has taken me 3 years to get to this weight, and I did take the time to learn somethings that works... Maintenance is 98 percent the same as losing so far....except I am at goal, which is awesome!!!

Edited January 3, 2014 by feedyoureye

[Georgia 2,908]

I agree, Kim, for me maintenance is still pretty much the same as losing. Do what I know to do, be diligent, log it all, eat cleanly and yes, maintain for another year! Well said, SherylJane

[CowgirlJane 14,260]

Kim and Georgia - that is exactly it. The biggest "ah ha" moment is really really really knowing that it doesn't end. There really isn't a "goal" or finish line. It is easy to say that, and think you "get it" but the reality is another story. I feel that as a person two years out, I understand this concept, but haven't lived it long enough to know that it is really deeply embedded. I don't yet have the confidence to know that I can maintain forever. I do know with absolute certainty i can do this one more year though!

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

It's really important to treat maintenance almost exactly the same as when you are in the losing stage.

It's so easy to throw in little treats and not gain and then push the limits. Our minds play tricks on us. "You had that treat and didn't gain. "Normal" people have treats and they don't gain weight.

We are not normal and never will be.We will always have to eat Protein first, drink lots of Water, and follow all the other sleeve rules, or we will go back to our old ways. It's just too easy to justify snacking and stay away from the scale.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

Great topic. I also share the fear of regain....actually, I'm still terrified of it. I've not reached goal - and maybe never will - but I absolutely know that regain is one wrong thought/move/perception away. I know how easy it is to spiral out of control, and have no illusions about it. I really hope to get the place that this way of living is more normal for me, and that it does not take the hyper-vigilance it does today. Until I get there, my best hope is to stay focused and put my effort into learning these new habits. Maybe at two years out, I will also be less consumed. Having said all of that, I don't perceive any of it as negative. I'm so grateful for the success I've had so far, and I am ok with the amount of effort I have to put forth in the future. That's my mindset - stay focused.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

Feedyoureye??? The train to fat town??? Love it!!!

I was just telling a friend....The truth is I'm not sure we are ever "there"....but we are head and shoulders above where we were. For me it's a balancing act of appreciating that while still trying to improve.

[Swimmer 199]

I could have written every word of your post. It's so hard for non sleevers to understand, but I understand 1000% of what you wrote. I hope to relax and hopefully never regain, but it's constantly on my mind. Maybe it's a good thing?

[carstanger 346]

I'm scared too! Have been tracking on myfitnesspal.com for a year and will continue just because. I also weigh every day but now with my clothes on so I have a better idea of where I am when I go to the doctor's. In the midst of buying a vacation place and know that the stress and decision making would make it really easy to gain. Hope to close and move the stuff in that we're buying for it by the middle of Feb. Lots of decisions!!! All our friends take the idea that this is vacation and they can eat the extra stuff but I'm trying to be keep on the way I have been!!