I feel like a prisoner in my own home *sensitive*

[Ree 215]

I'm just going to lay it all out there because I really don't know what to do with it. I seriously feel like a prisoner in my own home and it's not just because of my weight. To start with I live in a rural area where there isn't really any place to walk to, secondly I do not have a drivers license because I am very short (5 ft tall) and very over weight so I have a difficult time reaching the gas and brake pedals and my stomach ends up pressed against the steering wheel so I have this horrible fear of causing an accident. We only have one car to begin with and can not afford a second car and my husband constantly works so I am stuck home every day with my 3 year old. It gets boring very quickly around here and I find myself in the same place every single day, on the couch with my laptop on my lap. The only time I am able to get out of the house is when my husband takes me to the grocery store to buy groceries. I look forward to that day of the week. When I ask him if we can go take a walk in the mall or something he's always too tired to do it because he works so much. I have no friends or family who live nearby, they all live over 2 hours away and I have horrible social anxiety so making friends is very difficult for me.

So I literally feel stuck and I don't know what to do about it? My goal for this year is to try and lose enough weight so I feel comfortable enough behind a steering wheel and I am going to try and get my husband to teach me how to drive. I also hope that if I can lose weight I'll feel more comfortable talking to people face to face and maybe make some friends. I would love to be able to get my drivers license so I don't have to depend on my husband all the time. I want to be able to bring my daughter out and get her involved in activities where she can interact with other children her age. But in the meantime here I am, in the middle of winter (so I can't go outside if I want to breathe (asthma) ) stuck in this house all the time. I am literally busting at the seams to break out of here.

What do I do with this? Sitting here all the time makes me so depressed.

[No game 14,437]

I'm here, and I hear you. I cannot go there and get you and take you out for fresh air but if I could I would.

It's so hard to leave the house sometimes, I know. The longer you're in the harder that first step is.

I know this is going to sound weird but try to have your husband read what you wrote.. It will help him understand (if he doesn't already) and perhaps help you make the first steps by getting you out more (yes even if he's tired) you and your child need fresh air even if it just for a little while everyday bundle up and get outside even if it's just in the front or back yard for awhile.

[Arts137 1,811]

And getting on the board is a way to connect while you lose weight and take those 'steps to freedom'! Stay with us and we'll stay with you!

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Hello Ree, I was thinking as I read your post that you have a little child that could end up just like you. She needs to be social with other children. I hope that can motivate you to start with finding her a playmate or social interaction with other small children. Through our children we make relationships and friendships all our lives. It must be really hard to be in an isolated area like you are. I would urge you to consider joining a church. Members are usually more than eager to pick up visitors near them, and that would give your child an outlet also. You can call any church and explain your situation, not driving.

I agree, ask your husband to read what you wrote, and just think about it, no discussion immediately. Let him digest it, then talk. I learned many years ago from an expert to say, "This is how I feel"... and walk away. food for thought.

I think the longer you stay alone with no social interaction, the worse your social anxiety will become, and I hope you can figure out how to change that. Don't settle for that please. I have learned when my husband cannot walk due to health problems, he is always kind enough to drive me to a store, take a book and a coffee, and relax and read while I walk a little and look around. Or you can have him drive you and your child to a park and let her play with other children. Maybe you can try that for a beginning. You need to get off that sofa and get the laptop off on a regular basis, and move the body LOL!!! Also, do some little workout fun with your daughter, if nothing but walking around the house once a day, or using cans of Tomato Soup to move your arms around. Make it fun, put on some music and move the feet.

I have asthma also, neuropathy, knee replacement, diabetes, high blood pressure, and my husband is worse, but my spirit is lifted going on a store , making it a point to smile at people, say hello, rather than hiding behind my sunglasses in Florida because I was too miserable with myself 40 lbs ago to even smile.

There is help, hope and happiness. Please look for it, and my best to you!

[ualaw08 270]

Oh honey

So sorry you're in this predicament. Like someone else said, try turning on music and dancing with your daughter. Maybe take some classes online. But most importantly, please let your husband know how you feel. Let him know that sitting around the house is not only unhealthy for you but for your daughter. Is there somewhere he can drop you and daughter off while he is at work? A library? A mall? A relatives house?

I hope you are able to learn to drive soon. Wishing you the best of luck. In the meantime, we are here for you!

[fatgirlslim14 23]

any chance you get a dog so you all have to go out for a short walk and that can give you all some time outside?

[Ree 215]

When it's nice outside I do try and go outside more. I can't wait for the nice weather to return. I am using this (getting a license, getting out more and doing things for my daughter) as a motivation to lose the weight. I need to do this, I can't keep living like this. I have tried several times to talk to my husband about it and his response is always "what do you want me to do? I have to work to pay the bills".

LindaFromFlorida, fortunately my daughter doesn't have the same social issues that I have. When I can bring her places (as rare as that might be) she has no problem wedging herself into a group and making friends. She prefers older children (5-8 years old), I guess she must think kids her own age are just not mature enough lol. Although one time she saw a girl her age fall and get hurt and she ran over to her to make sure she was ok and took her by the hand and brought her over to the group of older girls she was playing with. It was so sweet to watch.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Thanks for replying Ree, you can make and keep friendships on this site, and do the best you can. That is all any of us can do in life. Losing weight will give you more confidence and you have a goal now, and that is to become mobile and get back to driving. Times are hard and I am sure you and your husband sacrifice for you to be able to stay at home with your baby girl. I am going to friend you and I hope you stay in touch and keep reaching out.

Keep that little girl happy and having fun! Along with her Mommy!

[Butterflyhigh 504]

I can relate.

I live in a rural area...all corn fields, thousands of acres of forest, and long straight roads going to nowhere. I am also introverted by nature and have no family close by (that I can stand anyway, lol). I am a homebody by choice and although I feel most comfortable when alone, I recognize that it is not always emotionally healthy OR good behavior to model for my children. Some days I am active and some days I have a hard time doing anything. But I am deliberate in forcing myself out of my self-imposed isolation.

This is what I do...

I create outdoor activities for myself such as gardening and keeping chickens. It forces me out of the house and into the fresh air. It gives me some daily exercise and a reason to leave the house.

Every single day I have to take care of the chickens. Open the coop in the AM, feed and Water. In the afternoon I will go out with my 3yo daughter and check for eggs. In the evening I need to shut the coop up. Each time I go out to their barn I do little things along the way...scrape snow/ice off the sidewalk, walk to the end of the driveway and get the mail, pick up sticks and throw them in the woods, do little chores associated with the chicken coop. Because of the chicken I also need to go to the feed mill every two weeks or so to stock up on straw and feed.

In the warmer weather I have flowerbeds that keeps me busy mulching, weeding, and watering. I do a lot of picnic lunches with my daughter. Big blanket laid in the shade, packed lunch, a story book, and end it with a nice nap right outside.

Just those two hobbies, chickens and gardening, give me many daily activities that get me off the couch. And just as important if not more so, it gives me something fun to do with my daughter. Memory making.

One more thing. Are you on an anti-depressent? Depression will make it hard to leave the house and be active. Staying in the home and being inactive will lead to depression. It is a cycle that is hard to tell when and where and how it started. An anti-depressent will interrupt the cycle and help you get the strength to get up and move. Consider asking your PCP to prescribe you something. It may be just the added Oompf you need to get outside and find a hobby.

You can Do It!! Good Luck!

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

I grew up in an area like you describe, in the country, loving the chickens, horses and farm animals that surrounded all my relatives. We had so many relatives it was always a party, big country dinners outside, kids in the watermelon fields, always activity.

We make memories all our lives. We are so blessed.

Ree and Butterfly, you have a lot in common. Too bad we cannot have a social quilting party I always wanted to be part of LOL! And losing weight in the process~!

[Butterflyhigh 504]

Hi Ree....how ya doing?

It's been cold and non-stop snowing in my part of the country. I've been wondering how you've been holding up?

[UKHEIDI 22]

Hi There

I use "Walk away the pounds" from Leslie Sansone so you can walk in your living room with a bit of company .

Lots of clips on you tube to try to see if you like her chatty style.

Best

C