Awakening the Beast Inside

[Leepers 1,195]

Hi Everyone! Happy Healthy New Year! I know this is like my third profile pic. I had to change it because I thought the previous one made me look unfriendly. This one just makes me look like a nut case, which is more accurate.

So, I was banded exactly two weeks ago. First week after was clear and full liquids. Second week was "blenderized" diet. I have been a really big wussy since surgery. I've had lots of gas issues, shoulder and intestinal. I've been really not interested in food that much and getting any calories down was a major effort. Nothing sounded good and I could eat 1/4 cup of cottage cheese with an applesauce cup and be totally full. I would read about other recently banded people who were eating entire Jimmy John subs and think, "Good Lord! How can they even think about eating that much?" But I totally understand everyone is different.

Today was my day to advance to a soft diet. I went ahead and had something last night for dinner cause, what the hell, what difference does 12 hours make? One of the items they had listed as a suggested item for soft diet was Melba toast. Right out of the box those things could cut diamonds, but once you chew them, they break down really easy.

So I came home last night and mixed a can of tuna with a chopped up hard boiled egg and a little mayo with some dill weed for flavor. I ate it with 8 pieces of Melba Snacks. And it was DEEEEELICIOUS! I was so freaking happy the whole time I was eating it. It was like I was eating at a five star restaurant. lol. I guess after cleansing my palate for three weeks of all the fatty sugary things I was used to, that anything tasted awesome. I was totally eating too fast and had a few episodes of feeling like I'd swallowed a baseball. I kept having to slow down and take smaller bites.

But,oh boy! It has awakened the beast inside. After I ate it (all of it), all I could think of was what else was around here for me to stuff in my mouth? I really tried hard to decide, is it real hunger or head hunger? It was difficult to decide. (Yesterday was also my first day back to work and I have a physical job and used a lot of energy). I put my meal in MyFitnessPal and it was definitely the most calories I have eaten in a while. But that didn't bother me too much. I decided to ignore the beast for a bit and got on the computer for a while. (No New Year celebrations for me as I was on call).

After a while I looked up and thought that I could definitely eat something else. I noticed it was 1030pm and decided no one needs to eat that late and I would ignore it and went to bed. I woke up really late today because I had to get up in the middle of the night to go pick my hubby and his friends up from their festivities. It was around 11am when I made myself the exact same thing I had to eat last night. And it was still GLOOOORIOUS and wonderful. Yummy.

But, just like last night, as soon as I was done, I was like, I'M STILL HUNGRY!! FEED THE BEAST!! And here, a couple of hours later, I'm still fighting the "hunger." Is it real? It feels like it. Maybe. I don't know? I was one of those people that ate until I was miserable and that's how I knew I was full. I didn't give a crap about cake and Cookies and candy. I wanted a QuarterPounder with cheese SuperSize Extra Value Meal. And, oh yeah, throw in a 6 piece McNuggets with Honey Sauce.

And I'm pissed that it all sounds so good. And I hate the beast. And I haven't really lost much weight in the last week even though I've had barely anything to eat. And I am comforted when I read other people's posts on the forum and I know that I may not have much weight loss until I start getting fills. And I wonder, is this the beginning of bandster hell?

Edited January 1, 2014 by Leepers

[SandyM 1,956]

This called bandster hell. You're going to need a lot of self control. Unfortunately this is easier said than done. Once you start getting fills this improves and even almost goes away. What I suggest for "head hunger" is drink unsweetened, non-carbonated drinks. If it's not sugar your body is begging for, you might do broth. I find that diet hot chocolate or diet apple cider works for me.

[terrydumont46 1,954]

this is a hard time for bandsters. as sandy said bandster hell. right now you are on a diet. i think that with the band they should do a lobotomy too! our brains are so strong. you really are not at the point where one meal will be satisfying for long. this is where you need a lot of healthy Snacks to get you through until you start getting fills. once you eat something just tell yourself that is it until my next meal. i found that a Protein bar or drink or a banana was food choices i ate that helped. this is also a good time even though it is hard to keep your food intake to a cup full about 3 times a day. really work at it. it will come in handy when the band is being adjusted. to learn how to eat during this period you are in will make your life a whole lot easier later down the road. eat as if you are in the green zone.

[B-52 7,113]

You just had surgery...theoretically, this time has nothing to do with loosing weight....and very little to do with the band other than you just had it installed, and need to heal...to get back to that place...JUST AS YOU WERE BEFORE the surgery....

THEN...the adjustments start...to get the band operating.....THIS phase is Bandster Hell....the band is there, but it takes a few months of "White Knuckling" until your Dr. gets it where it should be, suited for you....

This phase is also a time for YOU to get adjusted to the Band....start putting the "Rules" into practical use....

Don't worry, everyone has gone through it, unless you have a lot of will power and are good at dieting...but then if you were, then you would not have needed this surgery....

Even as I was getting my fills on a regular 4 week interval basis...I GAINED WEIGHT.....fortunately, my Dr. only laughed at me, and gave me another fill.....

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

if truly hungry, eat something (Protein is the way to go)

no need to diet with any wls anymore

but also drink alot...you will find maybe, as i did, that i was just thirsty and not really hungry..and was bored..

also, stay busy...walk, read, take a hot bath, exercise, shop, have great sex but def get your mind off of food...

eat to live now......not live to eat.........easier said then done as sandy said but we have all been there... hang in there sweetie

Edited January 1, 2014 by ☠carolinagirl☠
forgot something

[jamilyne 102668 1,207]

Carolina girl- so glad to see you! Are you feeling better???? We were worried!

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

yes thank you.....still hacking (albeit productive) and sounding like a goose, but i am much much better..

glad to be posting again where i think i can offer (something)..even if its just sending some love

Carolina girl- so glad to see you! Are you feeling better???? We were worried!

Edited January 2, 2014 by ☠carolinagirl☠
correct some spelling...geesh

[jamilyne 102668 1,207]

Sorry I hijacked your thread earlier - whenever I'm starving I eat some egg whites with a little cheddar cheese. It's low in calories and it fills me up. Sometimes when you start eating real food all those emotions start coming up that associate yourself with food.

Just make sure you are eating enough Protein and drinking plenty of Water - that will help also! I wish you the best of luck ! It will get better promise!

[kimk1999 450]

I'm right there with you Leepers. Congrats on the soft food stage. My dr. diet is 2 weeks liquids, 2 weeks pureed and then I can transition to soft foods. I'm in the first week of pureed, stacked that with a cold for the past week and now it's that 'tom' for me. Luckily I'm not really that hungry yet, but it's creeping in there quicker than it was last week (meals are not lasting as long). I just have bad cravings for crunchy salty foods and/or sweet foods right now. Boy do I miss texture in foods. I'm trying to drink more fluids to keep the hunger at bay. Also, my doc & nut recommended to not drink with eating and to wait at least 30 mins but better 60 mins to drink after eating. That will keep food up there longer and not flush it through. They suggested to set a timer on my phone to help out.