Coping with Body Image

[anesheim 26]

So i am having difficulties with body image and not adjusting the way i see myself. I find that i am getting more attention than before and people get mad when i have troubles accepting compliments or viewing myself as "pretty". Do you guys have issues with always thinking of yourself as the old you? I am nervous around new people because of the way people used to treat me. And if someone "likes" me i second guess myself constantly because i am even more shy now compared to before surgery. But i guess i have to remember that people who meet me now don't know the old abby, just the current. Even when shopping i find myself looking for the plus sized section all the time even though i'm and L-XL. It's weird. Does this go away?

Edited December 31, 2013 by anesheim

[parisshel 1,892]

You look great and your hard work shows.

I don't have problems adjusting to the new me, but I do have on standby a psychiatrist (the one who did my preop evaluations) just in case things get difficult. She told me that many WLS patients do need to have a bit of help with owning their new body. I know I would not hesitate if I sensed any discomfort with my changing shape.

[lisacaron 5,075]

Hi Anesheim, I posted this yesterday...maybe it will help you out.

I came across this message in my in box today, and I thought I would share it with you all. Recently we had a discussion in another post about adapting to the changes in our bodies and accepting our new bodies as they grow leaner.

Reading this excerpt and working on some of the thought exercises has really helped me to refocus my reaction to certain stresses in my life, as well as to refocus some of the goals that I have set for myself now and in the coming year ahead.

This is an excerpt from:

From Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul On-Line Course

by Deepak Chopra http://www.dailyom.c...gi?cid=122&aff=

Your body is boundless. It is channeling the energy, creativity, and intelligence of the entire universe.

Are you ready for a radical change in the way you see your body?

Before we can reinvent our bodies, we must be willing to let go of our old limiting beliefs about our bodies that continue to imprison us.

Consider the following:

• If the body is just a machine that wears out over time, then why do muscles grow stronger with use and bone density increase with weight bearing exercise?

• If the brain is merely a biological computer, then would we be able change it through learning, meditation and the experience of compassion?

• If our bodies are only a passive product of our genetic code, then why would our behavior be able to change the expression of some genes?

• You share 60% of your genes with a banana, 90% with a mouse, and more than 99% with a chimpanzee. What does this fact tell us about our uniqueness in physical and non-physical terms?

EXERCISES

1. Think of a personal experience from your own life, where the limiting physical properties of the body were superseded by a concept of the body as a flow of energy and intelligence. (For inspiration, read Aidan's story in the book, Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul.)

2. Make a list of any physical ailments you are experiencing in your body - these may be related to weight loss or gain, physical ailments, disease, etc.

Next to each desired change, think about the thoughts related to each ailment vs the physical experience of each one.

Now, make an intention to change your assumptions about these realities. (Ie. My intent is to think of a beam of sunlight radiating my soul every time I experience back pain. OR My intent is to think of loved ones when I experience heart burn today.)

3. This week, make a point to observe the thoughts inside you. Take extra note of the thoughts, images and memories that make you believe in unconditional spiritual love. These positive feelings are signposts towards a future opening in the expansion of your soul.

Take notes on how you want to manifest these positive feelings of love even more in your life.

For more information visit Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul

[gowalking 10,790]

So i am having difficulties with body image and not adjusting the way i see myself. I find that i am getting more attention than before and people get mad when i have troubles accepting compliments or viewing myself as "pretty". Do you guys have issues with always thinking of yourself as the old you? I am nervous around new people because of the way people used to treat me. And if someone "likes" me i second guess myself constantly because i am even more shy now compared to before surgery. But i guess i have to remember that people who meet me now don't know the old abby, just the current. Even when shopping i find myself looking for the plus sized section all the time even though i'm and L-XL. It's weird. Does this go away?

I'm going through the same things. I've lost over 100 lbs. yet still see the fat woman I was and not the normal sized woman I currently am. I just started seeing a professional to deal with this. Just know that you are so not alone. There's another thread about this same subject. It's titled 'a whole new meaning to out of body experience'. You should read the posts...it will help you to see what others with the same issues are saying.

[Corridor72 518]

I'm already having issues with this as well. I've lost a total of 56 lbs since I started my journey but I've only been banded for 11 days. I realized this was going to be an issue for me before I even got my band. My problem is more though that I don't see MY body as changing in size/shape but I look at other people and they look bigger to me. For instance, my dh is also overweight( he weighs roughly 400 lbs). He hasn't gained weight over the last several months but when I look at him, I see him as being larger than he was 6 months ago. Same thing with my coworkers and friends. Of course, I would never say anything to any of them or treat them any different and I DO realize that it's ME with the problem, not them. I just worry that it's going to be a bigger problem for me when I get closer to my goal or even at goal...that I'm still going to feel like I'm the size of a house whether I am or not because I realize that the problem is in MY head and that my mind is not seeing the changes in the physical me but rather perceiving it more in terms of changes in those around me. Like I realize that they're larger than me but my mind perceives it as a change in them, not a change in myself.

[terrydumont46 1,954]

i am still wearing my old clothes mostly. so it hides my wt. loss. no one ever talks about it. i think they are trying to just let me be me. what i am going to wait for is, one time when i was on yet another yo yo diet and lost a lot of wt. my husband looked over the table at me and said that my face reminded him of the face he first fell in love with. it sounds corny but i am hoping that happens again some day.

[BandedDietitian 13]

Body self image. Boy I've been dealing with this since July 2009 when I was banded. I feel exactly the same way as you! I have lost 65lbs on my own with the gastric band and recently another 15lbs was taken off via plastic surgery (body lift and brachioplasty). Now I'm 80 lbs less and really, really having some major body issues.

We all have to deal with this and honestly, I still felt "fat" after 65lbs gone. I felt strange buying clothes in "regular" sizes instead of plus sized. Because I had a lot of flappy skin hanging everywhere, I saw myself as fat, but just deflated, physically. It wasnt' until plastic surgery removed all of this in one momentous day last month that I feel closer to "normal"? Whatever normal is. It is very hard to re-change all my self talk at clothing stores: "I can't wear that style, my muffin top will show. The sleeves on that shirt will accentuate my flappy arms. My fat ass will never fit into those jeans since they are too slim and straight cut."

I'm having to buy a whole new wardrobe and honestly it takes trying stuff on and physically looking at myself in the mirror (a LOT) to re-wire my brain. I am 43 and have been overweight since age 8. It's tough. My therapist helps, but she is not trained to deal with weight loss patients specifically.

My gastric surgeon does offer support groups, but I never seem to connect with anyone there (not at the same stage as me, not willing to let go of an unhealthy lifestyle, non-compliant, in-active, etc). From my before and after pics.....your transformation looks exactly like mine

We both look older when we were fatter, and younger when skinny. I was 263lbs on my LapBand day in 2009 and now I am 184 (with residual swelling from my body lift). I want to be 163-ish by July 9, 2014 which will be my 5-year anniversary of the band.

[GrandmaBarb 4]

_{I can understand how you are feeling and I have only dieted once before (pre cancer surgery) so I don't need to worry bout the preconceived yoyo part. But I am 68 and I am sort of enjoying the ability to shop where ever I want not just plus sizes. I keep a couple of articles of the next size down waiting for me to get there, I am looking at it as an adventure. If I could say one thing get rid of the old baggy stuff and enjoy the new styles. People will ask and you can answer them honestly. I have found great support from my co-workers and the change from 32 to 16 is an accomplishment am very proud of and am eager to share this achievement and method with others who can benefit. Please share your story with others and help them. I will not be parading around in a bikini ( I am 68) but jeans and shorts are back in the closet!}

Edited January 2, 2014 by GrandmaBarb

[much2gain 12]

I'm in the same boat! I can't seem to wrap my brain around the "transforming/new" me. I've lost 200 pounds with another 60-80 to go for goal and I'm stuck. The compliments and new looks, especially from men, really freak me out. I still feel like the old person and my brain turns a regular nice compliment into a sarcastic comment. I've been trying to go out more and on dates to help get my mind on the right track but it's really hard. Going out in groups and signing up with MeetUp (social site for adventure, exercise, etc.. not just dating) has helped break the shell too. Just thinking about dating though makes my palms sweat. I'm not a fan of my body at the moment so how can someone else be a fan? And that's not meant to be a putdown to myself, it's just the truth. There is a lot of area that are very "deflated" at the moment. LOL

[judych 225]

Im sure in time you will adjust , but this seems to be a bigger problem than is talked about. The whole issue of our weight and how we see ourselves is the major factor in our problem. the mind is the largest and most active muscle in our bodies , for sure.

Ive been banded now for nearly two years. Im 67, and although its been wonderful to see that i can actually be pretty again... can be stylish again, i still have issues with my body getting older. For instance, my legs and feet.. i will have to have some surgery this year to deal with varicose.. but, lots of us in this situation have other surgeries to bring us up to what we want to be.

I know that giving yourself time to adjust and REALLY KNOW that you are pretty will make a difference to your responses to compliments. Believe me, you arent on your own. All of us have to go through this mental adjustment, how we see ourselves. I hope its not too long before you can accept a compliment from others without rejecting it for what it really is. ...just a compliment. Good luck to you.

[tonya596 25]

I know exactly what you mean I'm currently down over100lbs and still wondering why people that I may not have seen in a while look at my funny often having to take a second look to see its me when I look in the mirror I just see me the same old person just a few pounds liter

[Lady VS 1,147]

Lol not laughing at you but with you. I felt the same way at first but in time the feelings do go away. Good luck on the new and improved you.

[Lady VS 1,147]

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Edited January 7, 2014 by Lady VS

[Jack 855]

...yes.....we do come to new understanding and acceptance of our new selves....

[nomorejellybelly 77]

I feel good when I receive compliments, but that doesn't happen every day. I have low self-esteem anyhow and struggle a lot with my body image. I'm still pretty much wearing the lowest size clothes I got down to when I hit my plateau, but I feel huge. I lost close to 60 lbs in my first 8 months and have been stuck ever since. Even with exercise and fills. I am ready to feel better about myself and to me the only way I'll feel better about myself, is if I look better.

I think you look great now and I love that short, haircut.