Discouraging words

[slinkielovin 58]

I was nervous last night and called a friend about my upcoming surgery on the 7th. She put me down , made me feel horrible, and tried to talk me out of the surgery. I'm getting the lap band. She herself has gotten a gastric bypass in '79 and she ate though it. She keeps telling me that its not worth my time because I'm just going to fail. I should have hung up but for some reason I listened to her for an hour and a half. I feel I can make this band work for me and I'm going to loose weight and get better, healthy. Get my life back!

[cheryl2586 3,053]

Her failure does not relate to you and what you are doing. Let her example be the reason you will succeed. You will do great as long as you know this is forever. All of use can gain weight back if we stop doing what the plan says to do. If you follow your plan like your doctor put in place for you, you will be successful.

[SandyM 1,956]

And you can. I too know some people with every one of the WLS who have failed. I also know that they are not me. I wanted the weight off and was willing to do the work and spend the time. I have a friend who had gastric bypass and her husband son and daughter have had bands. Her family is all doing great, her, not so much. She actually went to their (our) doctor and asked to be banded and he told her that her surgery was fine, she was just not working it properly. Don't let others do this to you. Chances are, she doesn't want your to have the surgery be because you will be thinner than she is. I notice this is a trend. Do what you have to do for yourself and there will be no regrets.

[gowalking 10,790]

People who fail like to see others do the same. It makes them feel less accountable. steer clear of this person who in my opinion is not such a great friend.

[NaNa 878]

You mentioned:

I feel I can make this band work for me and I'm going to loose weight and get better, healthy. Get my life back!

Never listen to negativity! You WILL be successful as long as you are motivated, and determined and have a positive outlook. Just because your friend failed with the Bypass does not mean you will fail with your band.

You can do this!

[PuraVida37 715]

Simply put: the band is not the same as a bypass. Therefore, her projecting her failure on you has nothing to do with your success. Apples to oranges.

[kll724 3,055]

Best wishes on your new you in the New Year! everyone else said what I would say, just know that you haev a "friend" here on this forum, I just got into my head "where never is heard a discouraging word and skies are not cloudy all day"

[BandedBrunette481 310]

I was nervous last night and called a friend about my upcoming surgery on the 7th. She put me down , made me feel horrible, and tried to talk me out of the surgery. I'm getting the lap band. She herself has gotten a gastric bypass in '79 and she ate though it. She keeps telling me that its not worth my time because I'm just going to fail. I should have hung up but for some reason I listened to her for an hour and a half. I feel I can make this band work for me and I'm going to loose weight and get better, healthy. Get my life back!

I don't know why people think they know someone else's body!! You know your body and what is right for you so don't get dragged down by negativity. Some of my family is not supportive of my decision to get the lapband but I'm not letting them sway me. The good news is you have a wonderful community of people here to give you support if you need it

Also, what helped me a ton in my decision was reading other people's success stories. I know they have a whole forum on here for that but what helped me a lot was reading blogs from people like LapBand Gal, Banded Wendy, and Amy. Their stories are incredibly inspirational and I encourage you to check them out. Here are their links.

LapBand Gal - http://lapbandgalsjourney.blogspot.com/

Banded Wendy (hers is a video blog) - http://www.youtube.com/user/bandedwendy

Amy - http://cheeseandsunkist.blogspot.com/

Best of luck to you! Stay strong!

[dream to be slim 33]

take no notice of others negative comments , do this for you and only you ! I have found this sight very helpful and supportive , we all have days where we stuggle and no one will suggest its easy , but nothing is if its worth having , a true friend would support you in your decision not be negative , I wish you well , stay positive and keep in touch with this group

[Leepers 1,195]

There were a couple of nurses where I work who had the band and both were still heavy. I did talk to both of them before making my decision. I felt that neither one would really come out and say that they didn't do what they were supposed to do. I knew in my heart that I have what it takes to be successful with the band. One of them is a real negative Nancy. I plan on staying away from her.
A good friend would support you even if they were not successful. You may need to reexamine your relationship or possibly have a conversation with her confronting her lack of support for you.
This is YOUR life. Do not let anyone stand in the way of your health!

Edited December 30, 2013 by Leepers

[B-52 7,113]

I've said it before....and it is a fact in my life with the band...if it is properly adjusted, I do not see how people can fail....short of a unforseen medical issue that the band needs to be unfilled....OR...the patient chooses not to have the band adjusted to the point it controls their hunger and cravings, also Portion Control = food intake.....and perhaps over time, they're will power and/or determination can drop due to what ever reason....family crisis, grief, stress...whatever may distract them or weaken their physique...

But for me...no matter what I am going through, the band remains a constant...I may change, but the band does not..I may go to parties, vacations, family dinners, whatever...the band is the same...surroundings may change....whether I'm home or 3000 miles away on business...

Over the years I have failed miserably 100's of times at just about every diet under the sun..including drugs, hypnosis and acupuncture....you name it...

So that is why I had this surgery...to do what I was unable to do on my own, because I could not control myself when it came to eating.....it was ME who was the weak link, with no discipline or self control or motivation....

But the band has taken care of all that for me...and as long as I do regular maintenance, Dr. visits, etc, and keep this band running in tip-top form, as new, I have no fear of every gaining any weight back....

That is why I had to undergo Weight Loss Surgery....because I was unable to do it, and would always fail....

I have had people tell me I was making a mistake...seems everyone knows somebody who has failed....but this is about ME...I have to look out for ME first, and not be distracted by what others may experience...I am not them, nor are they me...

So much for my Rant....

Edited December 29, 2013 by B-52

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

Keep the faith and you will succeed!

[QueensTy 82]

That's your friend's opinion and my husband has always said opinions are like ***holes, everyone has one. You made the decision without her and you will succeed without her.

You are going to do fantastic. Go do great things!

[Yadiordz 346]

I was nervous last night and called a friend about my upcoming surgery on the 7th. She put me down , made me feel horrible, and tried to talk me out of the surgery. I'm getting the lap band. She herself has gotten a gastric bypass in '79 and she ate though it. She keeps telling me that its not worth my time because I'm just going to fail. I should have hung up but for some reason I listened to her for an hour and a half. I feel I can make this band work for me and I'm going to loose weight and get better, healthy. Get my life back!

I just going to tell you that the only regret I have is not doing this sooner , If my band fail it will be my fault because I know what to do and not to do with the band, so far I am happy and loosing the weight doing the right food choices but I will not lie to you that is easy because is not you just have to have the will power to do it and you will succed, you can eat almost anything but counting calories is a MUST !!!! happy new year !!!

[gowalking 10,790]

I've said it before....and it is a fact in my life with the band...if it is properly adjusted, I do not see how people can fail....short of a unforseen medical issue that the band needs to be unfilled....OR...the patient chooses not to have the band adjusted to the point it controls their hunger and cravings, also Portion Control = food intake.....and perhaps over time, they're will power and/or determination can drop due to what ever reason....family crisis, grief, stress...whatever may distract them or weaken their physique...

But for me...no matter what I am going through, the band remains a constant...I may change, but the band does not..I may go to parties, vacations, family dinners, whatever...the band is the same...surroundings may change....whether I'm home or 3000 miles away on business...

Over the years I have failed miserably 100's of times at just about every diet under the sun..including drugs, hypnosis and acupuncture....you name it...

So that is why I had this surgery...to do what I was unable to do on my own, because I could not control myself when it came to eating.....it was ME who was the weak link, with no discipline or self control or motivation....

But the band has taken care of all that for me...and as long as I do regular maintenance, Dr. visits, etc, and keep this band running in tip-top form, as new, I have no fear of every gaining any weight back....

That is why I had to undergo Weight Loss Surgery....because I was unable to do it, and would always fail....

I have had people tell me I was making a mistake...seems everyone knows somebody who has failed....but this is about ME...I have to look out for ME first, and not be distracted by what others may experience...I am not them, nor are they me...

So much for my Rant....

I am very pleased for you and your success, I truly am...but I feel it's important to note especially for the new bandsters, that your experience is very much an anomoly. Most bandsters, even the very successful ones still deal with head hunger and have to constantly make good choices concerning both portion sizes and healthy foods vs. high calorie, high fat/salt, processed foods.

For most folks, the band when working correctly, satisfies the appetite enough so the bandster is not too hungry. This way, they can control portion and content. But it is still at times, a struggle to follow the rules.

I am a very successful bandster fortunately. I've lost over 100 lbs. and yet the past two days, I was at a friend's house and we ate out nearly every meal. I watched my portions and made the best food decisions I could but I knew between the couple of alcoholic drinks, and higher sodium content of some of the foods I was eating, I would get home today with likely a gain, and I did. A little over two lbs. but I also know that I'll drop those two lbs. over the next few days as I go back to 'regular' foods that I eat at home.

I think that's a more common experience than maintaining a constant weight no matter what the surroundings or circumstances...which explains the fear alot of folks have around the holidays.

Again B-52, this is not a knock on your experience at all so I hope you don't feel I'm doing that...I'm just giving my experience and what I think is the majority of folks based on posts I read.

I can so very easily see how and why people fail at this. Head hunger is hard to control and folks can always figure out how to eat around the band...we know this. Every day, I have to commit to this new lifestyle and my fervant hope at this point in my journey, is that I can maintain my healthier lifestyle.