Not a happy, cheary post, be warned

[Branmuffin 190]

So sorry for your loss and glad you went through with your surgery. Like you I didn't want to go through with the holidays as usual this year either. My 16 year old niece died in September and somehow it just doesn't feel right without her celebrating with our family but I have children to keep going for as you do. Your grand baby will be here soon and you'll be glad you took a rest now so that you have energy to spend time with it later. Sounds like you have a houseful and that's a blessing but they're old enough to be helping you. I'd create a chore list for each of my adult live in children and do what the other post said and order Christmas dinner brought in. Take your time and ease your body and mind through the changes that are happening. You have been through a ton and I wish you well.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

Hi farm girl. My condolences on the loss of your mother.

I must say I get some of this. My mom died 7 years ago from cancer. We were going to bring her to my home under hospice care, but the night before she was to come home she passed. That was hard.

I too am an avid runner now and I just had my TT 11 weeks ago. The running is like my church. It soothes my soul the way nothing else can. The restrictions after the TT are the absolute worst thing about it because you cannot release those tensions and frustrations. Add to it the passing of your mother....I cannot imagine how hard that is. I haven't known anyone who didn't just go berserk during that down time....especially fitness oriented people.

I do however know how weird it is to not have to wash under your belly anymore. After almost 3 months I'm still trying to wash under it.....but it's not there.

The good news is...in a few weeks you'll be able to return to running, and it will come back to you quicker than you realize. I thought I was going to lose every bit of my fitness, but surprisingly that didn't happen. After just 4 weeks back to running I'm already feeling like my old self. Running a half marathon tomorrow in fact.

I hope you feel that way again soon.

[VSG AJH 499]

I suggest you stop. My mom passed away nearly 18 months ago after a rapid progression of Oat Cell Carcinoma, an inoperable, incurable, super-aggressive type of lung cancer reserved primarily for smokers. Even these months later and with small children at home, I'm more Bah Humbug than Merry Christmas. It's very difficult losing your mom. We've had holiday takeout for two seasons now, and this year is no different. Take time to heal and grieve, and let others take care of you, or at the very least, themselves.

[Birthsjourney 146]

Farm girl my heart feels your sadness.. My Mom passed on Dec 8th and it did make for a Rough Holiday that year! Please focus on yourself and reach out to others that are missing her and can help u with everything.... It is your time ... And u worked hard to be were your at! So envious of you.. Your Mom is with you everyday .. Just listen for her .... Hugs

[DSwitcher 35]

I couldn't read it all, but sounds like it could be normal depression. talk to one of your docs, re meds and some therapy around the fact that you are not getting your needs met by your family might be appropriate...

[farmgirl04 231]

Hi all, I'm feeling much better today. I've done some simple things like decide to not make the greens for the table. Just putting away the cups, floral foam, and scratch collecting greens off the to do list helped a lot! I've made the executive decision to make a turkey early on Xmas eve, that way the men in the house can A. Lift it! and B. Eat their own dinner and finally C. I can take some down to my daughter. She, being 38 weeks pregnant has been given 12 hour call on both Xmas eve and Xmas day (not sure they thought that one through) and her husband has decided to go to him families traditional Xmas eve party 2 hours away. I said no way to her coming home to an empty house even if all she's doing is eating and going to sleep, so I'm spending the night there for support and just in case someone decides to be a Christmas baby! Feeling much more relaxed today. I'm trying to decide if I'm up to 7 hours in the car tomorrow to go have some face time with Dad, something that would heal us both! Just not sure I'm up to it, and I know there is no way to talk anyone into driving me! I know he'd understand, and be upset if I jeopardize my health, but he's also 97 and grieving as well. I wish we had transporters!

[ribearty 544]

Farmgirl,

Hope you had a good Christmas and hoping that you have a wonderful new year in 2014.