Leaving..

[donna450 130]

Ilene, that is such a nice thing to say about Cheryl. She does try to be nice and helpful to others! Personally, she has never offended me, but others see her as a know it all. i just think that she has a lot of wisdom from being a lapband veteran and also in the medical field. I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Karen..aka.kll724

Cheryl has helped quite a few and others that we don't know about. I hope she doesn't leave. She's an inspiration to alot of us. I hope everyone has a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I know this new year will be my year to succeed. Kudos to all of you.

[Bama53 214]

I just want to say "Thank you" to all the Veterans who have taken their time to read and share their experiences and wisdom. It has been such a great help for me personally and hope you do not leave. But if you do, please remember you have made a difference for a lot of us God Bless!

[B-52 7,113]

All I can say this morning......after being banded for a certain amount of time...being in the "Green" Zone for years, and being 100% successful and Happy, happy happy.....

This Forum can be EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING.....

I just left another Thread, and NO ONE GET'S IT !!!

I have to stop and ask "What in the World am I doing here?" Even when I try to explain things, things that are simple truths based upon my experience and my life with the band....people just do not understand....and will even debate you over it!

Right now, I feel like a stranger in in a strange land....and I know others that have moved on for just that reason....

Sometimes you just have to get away to keep your sanity.....

[catfish87 3,471]

All I can say this morning......after being banded for a certain amount of time...being in the "Green" Zone for years, and being 100% successful and Happy, happy happy.....

This Forum can be EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING.....

I just left another Thread, and NO ONE GET'S IT !!!

I have to stop and ask "What in the World am I doing here?" Even when I try to explain things, things that are simple truths based upon my experience and my life with the band....people just do not understand....and will even debate you over it!

Right now, I feel like a stranger in in a strange land....and I know others that have moved on for just that reason....

Sometimes you just have to get away to keep your sanity.....

[Jim1967 3,569]

Hey all,

I have been touch and go on these forums for the past month and half but mostly due to the holidays, vacation and work commitments leading up to vacation. I am also committed to this site because I believe in paying it forward. If I can reach just one person and provide a little inspiration or helpful advice then it is well worth it. I have met some wonderful people here and the support you've all given me is invaluable.

I am sad some have left but understand things change and nothing ever stays the same.

I think we can agree we've all had concerns about the forum and the changes but one thing I will say is I have never heard Alex make one negative comment or tell people if you don't like it leave. Instead I have heard him and his team ask how or what he can do to make this place feel more like home.

I will stick with this place and I don't mind reading and answering the same questions over and over. There was a time when I lost and people helped me along the way...

Edited December 25, 2013 by Jim1967

[MyHighway 52]

All I can say this morning......after being banded for a certain amount of time...being in the "Green" Zone for years, and being 100% successful and Happy, happy happy..... This Forum can be EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING..... I just left another Thread, and NO ONE GET'S IT !!! I have to stop and ask "What in the World am I doing here?" Even when I try to explain things, things that are simple truths based upon my experience and my life with the band....people just do not understand....and will even debate you over it! Right now, I feel like a stranger in in a strange land....and I know others that have moved on for just that reason.... Sometimes you just have to get away to keep your sanity.....

So may I ask, what do you want to get from here? I think I saw the post where you were frustrated and I wasn't sure what you wanted from the folks participating. I don't mean this rudely, I'm just trying to understand what a veterans expectations are from this site after reaching goal. Is it mentoring, continuing education, something else?

Long before I ever signed up here, I was a lurker and something I always see many of the veterans post is do what your doctor advised. Well I've had enough health issues in my lifetime to know that it is smart to do your own due diligence with any health related issues as you can help to design your health plan. I've told previous doctors about new medications, new treatment plans and demanded that they be implemented for my own betterment. I'm not going to have blind faith in my dr with my band. sometimes when we ask questions here of what people are experiencing I see veterans jump in and say don't ask us ask your doctor. I'm always thinking... We're not a bunch of dummies who are going to do whatever the internet says... But can't we ask about others experiences? In my case my surgeon is pretty liberal... Perhaps too liberal? I don't know, so I like to know more about those with more restrictions and why. It's just for my own education. In the thread where I think you were getting frustrated, I think what is confusing to newbies is that we here so many people say listen to your doctor.. But when it comes to eating most veterans seem to not follow a real diet. That is hard for newbies to comprehend. Especially after hearing listen to your doctors from all the veterans, because our drs are telling us to only eat healthy foods. Mine made me sign a contract promising to do so. Just explaining the other side of things as I don't think the vets are the only ones who get frustrated but the newbies are so desperate for info that I don't think you see as many leave because this is such a new world and we're hanging in because we don't know what else to do.

So I say this with good intentions, but may have unintentionally angered another vet.

[Terry Poperszky 2,784]

This Forum can be EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING.....

Got to agree with you on this B-52, two things that make it this way for me:

1. People seem to want to be offended: On some of the posts that I have made that drew negative responses, I wonder if the person even actually read or thought about what I said, because their response is so out of tune with what I said. It is almost like people are looking for reasons to be offended.

2. When there is a disagreement, everyone wants to have the last word: I watch some of these threads that go on for multiple pages, and I swear that people aren't even reading each others responses, simply posting so that they have the last word on a subject. Personally I have started to speak my piece, and then ignore what happens in a thread after that.

Personally, I don't post near as much as I used to. Why? It isn't fun anymore, all I hear is: you're bragging, you're being judgmental, you're too harsh. I'm tired of it. There are many Veterans on this forum that have helped me through the last year, I don't agree with everything they say, but I have enough respect for their success to at least listen too them. And I am far enough down the lap band road myself to start understanding some to things they are saying that I didn't (couldn't) understand when I had just started my journey.

Edited December 26, 2013 by Terry Poperszky

[ineed2dothis4me 87]

Personally I feel that this forum is " clicky". I have tried to post serious questions and they never get addressed. Same questions get boring. I always try to find subject threads first before posting a new one. This won't stop me from coming back but it has stopped me from posting.

[HotButterFly 981]

I like to think I like to be as stress-free as possible.

[vincereautmori 323]

Something that seems obvious to me is that a forum is a place to come to for a conversation, even though many questions are frequently repeated, it's a way for some to begin to talk about their concerns. For me, my style is to listen, and I enjoy reading how many of those similar questions are answered. I've found some profound answers that have helped me many times.

As far as what each of us gets out of this site, it's a microcosm of life itself. If you think of your life, what you were committed to, responsible for, interested in, changes with your situation as well as with age. For many of us, if we go back to the neighborhood we grew up in, most of the people we knew are gone, the houses may look different, it does't feel the same. But for the new people there, it's their neighborhood, they all know one another and we are now a stranger. If we spend a few moments with them we may find they reflect who we were at their age and they might appreciate stories of the old neighborhood and how we are connected. If I don't like them or don't care to talk to them, I can leave and cherish the memories of that time of my life and the neighborhood goes on without me.

Edited December 27, 2013 by vincereautmori

[B-52 7,113]

"So may I ask, what do you want to get from here? I think I saw the post where you were frustrated and I wasn't sure what you wanted from the folks participating. I don't mean this rudely, I'm just trying to understand what a veterans expectations are from this site after reaching goal. Is it mentoring, continuing education, something else?"

That is the point, isn't it...what do / can veterans get from here???

I do pay special attention to those who develop long term complications....and over time have made certain conclusions. Seem those with problem have 1-3 common themes to them...and 2 out of 3 of those I know I avoid....

I do not believe it is my place to mentor, or answer questions concerning someone else's health and welfare, over the internet, whom I do not know or ever met.....and the other person would be the dummy to listen to a stranger tell them what they should or should not do, and what the band can or cannot do in their lives....The only thing ANYONE can do is tell their own story...give their testimony as to what has worked and not worked in THEIR lives.....If someone comes here and asks a specific question, IF I have experienced the same thing, then I will share what I found the outcome to be, based upon ME, NOT what someone told me or I read somewhere....

and If I have not had any first hand experience with that specific topic, then I will keep my mouth shut and let someone else reply.....But it gets to the point that the gap between veterans and new members increases, that what I may say, even if it is something I do everyday....new members simply cannot relate, and can care less what I have to say...they can relate better to someone earlier on in this experience.....

So what is the point?

Edited December 27, 2013 by B-52

[B-52 7,113]

Personally I feel that this forum is " clicky". I have tried to post serious questions and they never get addressed. Same questions get boring. I always try to find subject threads first before posting a new one. This won't stop me from coming back but it has stopped me from posting.

I for one, will NEVER answer a direct question with a direct answer....I will however, think back and try to remember if I ever had that situation, and if I did, I will share what I found the answer to be....

If I have never experienced what you're asking, then I would keep my mouth shut and let someone else speak.....

Example..there are many topics about TOM or Pregnancy....I would not even begin to address those issues (although I'm in the medical profession) it is not my place to do so here...yet it happens everyday...people will give advice, answers, in areas they have no experience in....I think they just like to be heard or feel important....who knows...

[B-52 7,113]

Something that seems obvious to me is that a forum is a place to come to for a conversation, even though many questions are frequently repeated, it's a way for some to begin to talk about their concerns. For me, my style is to listen, and I enjoy reading how many of those similar questions are answered. I've found some profound answers that have helped me many times.

As far as what each of us gets out of this site, it's a microcosm of life itself. If you think of your life, what you were committed to, responsible for, interested in, changes with your situation as well as with age. For many of us, if we go back to the neighborhood we grew up in, most of the people we knew are gone, the houses may look different, it does't feel the same. But for the new people there, it's their neighborhood, they all know one another and we are now a stranger. If we spend a few moments with them we may find they reflect who we were at their age and they might appreciate stories of the old neighborhood and how we are connected. If I don't like them or don't care to talk to them, I can leave and cherish the memories of that time of my life and the neighborhood goes on without me.

But, when you speak with them about what it was like when you were growing up there, and they snicker and look at you as if you had three heads.....eventually...you do what.....?

[vincereautmori 323]

"But, when you speak with them about what it was like when you were growing up there, and they snicker and look at you as if you had three heads.....eventually...you do what.....?"

Then, they are not interested in the value of your experiences, maybe they know it all, maybe the forum (neighborhood) becomes a platform for them. Just as in the neighborhood, I don't like or identify with everybody that lives there. On the other hand, we could just have a conversation with those who respect and appreciate our experiences.

You are at a junction in your journey, and I suppose we could all get there eventually, you have successfully made it and maybe this forum helped you and many of the regular posters became forum friends who supported you through this journey, and you them. If it has become frustrating thats not why you come here, its time for a break or to ask if you need it anymore.

[WshfullyShrnkng 80]

i have heard from several people who are no longer posting on this forum

(for various reasons)...some who are very successfu, some at goal...some just starting.....

i will miss them...i miss them now as i write this

i also thought about leaving recently (and a couple of times in the past due to neg nellies)

but i need the support....me coming here and posting and commenting holds me accountable

not only to myself but maybe, just maybe, a larger bmi who is starting can see me and think, yes, the band

or whatever wls they choose, works...it does work....if YOU work it and use it correctly and stop with excuses..

change is hard

via from eating crap and unhealthy foods to better foods

to coming to this new website

i work for a internet software company and i am ok with computers....but i admit i hated this

new site....ask alex, i hounded his cute butt......but i hung in there.....there are things i still dont like

but i like i can still be around banded people like me...

so before you leave, there are people (me for one) who sure want, need your support/advice and wisdom...

let us help each other...

us bandits need to stick together....

I have always hated that people leave things because there are those people who feel the need to always rain on everyone's parade. It's a fact of life that no matter what we do...there will always be someone there criticizing us and trying to make us feel small and beneath them. Our decision is just that. It's OURS! No body can tell us what to do, when to do it, or how to do it. For some lapband is right, others its RNY, others its the sleeve and then there is normal Exercise and Healthy eating. None of these ways are wrong. Some of us just need the added help of a WLS to get us in gear and to assist our healthy eating and fitness. I could never figure out why some had the need to bash our choice...it doesn't affect them so what part does it play in their life? I am glad you didn't leave because I enjoy all the support you offer.