Losing More Than Pounds and Inches...Relationships

[PrettyThick1 1,860]

Now that I've gotten nearly to my goal, my niece and arguably the person closest to me has started taking "pot shots" at me, trying to make me feel bad that I'm so small now. She says I don't look good (the ONLY person in my life to say that) and other mean things to try to make me feel bad. I should add that she is bigger than I was at my heaviest weight and secretly wishes she had the band, too. She bought a brand new car on Monday and thought I would be jealous or something, but when I was happy for her and told her how proud I was that she was able to get the deal she got...she turned on me and began verbal attacks. It was the craziest thing!

As I reflect over our relationship, this is a pattern of hers. When things are going good for me, she isn't happy. When things are going good for her and I'm happy about it...she isn't happy that I'm happy. I'm sorry, but I've just never been a very envious person - no matter who you are or what you have. I Celebrate with you and hope that when the occasion calls for it, you Celebrate with me. But, our back-and-forth has gone on all of our lives. We are only 3 years apart and more like sisters than aunt and niece. I was fortunate that my parents (her grandparents) were able to give me more than most children and I grew up rather priviledged. My sister was not able to afford the same lifestyle but my parents compensated for that most of the time. But, my niece resented that and I don't think it ever left her.

With that being said and the start of a new year upon us, one thing on my To-Do list (I don't do resolutions) is to change the people I surround myself with. For the most part, I have positive and supportive friendships - they all thrive and give me great pleasure. But for those that do not fall in that category, I'm going to distance myself. Life is too short to fill it with people who aren't in your corner or have positive things to contribute to your time here on earth. I'm drawing a line in the sand to take back the energy, time and wasted negative emotions the wrong kind of people extract from my life.

Merry Christmas

[michpell39 399]

Some people are just so unhappy with themselves and whats going in in their owns lives they just are incapable of being happy for others, sounds like a bit of the green eyed monster to me, its hard when you are seeing someone losing weight and cant get it off yourself

[SandyM 1,956]

This is sad, but some people don't know how to be happy for others, especially if they are unhappy themselves. Misery loves company. I agree that you should change where your relationship is with her. She can still be like a sister, but don't let her bring you down. You are doing great and should not feel guilty about this. also you should not feel guilty that your parents were more prepared financially to have a child than hers. Sounds like she had it good too because of their generosity, but feels like you had it better. Not your problem. You can't provide her with happiness, she has to find that herself.

[slinkielovin 58]

My real sister is like this also. We were living together and when I started setting my goals and achieving them she just turned mean. Not only to me but to my son and daughter as well. I have separated myself from her a bit and am still very supportive of everything she does and achieves, and just don't let it stand out to me as much when she spouts the poopies from her mouth when I do something great like achieving a goal or dropping 3 lbs this week. I surround myself with people who support me and can handle a fifty fifty relationship. It's hard but you just have to tell yourself, am I important to myself? If I am then I'm worth the energetic support that is going to push me towards my next goal as not make me feel disappointed in a relationship that's maybe being held at a standstill just to derail me.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

[lisacaron 5,075]

You can't provide her with happiness, she has to find that herself.

Well said.

It is sad that other people our own families and even our own children can have negative reactions to our wellness and our happiness.

We have worked hard to be where we are, and if we are happy we deserve to be! We can't make others happy, it's their job to find their bliss, and if they are determined they will.

PT you are doing the right thing and I applaud you and your compassion for your niece even in the face of her insults you remained elegant and did not kick her when she is obviously already down on herself.

[Kitt3000 757]

Respect for yourself, is staying above the fray. Congratulations on recognizing the situation. Sometimes, we have to put a period behind the last sentence , end the chapter, close the book. Best wishes to you!

[crystaleffexx 18]

<p>Now that I've gotten nearly to my goal, my niece and arguably the person closest to me has started taking "pot shots" at me, trying to make me feel bad that I'm so small now. She says I don't look good (the ONLY person in my life to say that) and other mean things to try to make me feel bad. I should add that she is bigger than I was at my heaviest weight and secretly wishes she had the band, too. She bought a brand new car on Monday and thought I would be jealous or something, but when I was happy for her and told her how proud I was that she was able to get the deal she got...she turned on me and began verbal attacks. It was the craziest thing!</p> <p> </p> <p>As I reflect over our relationship, this is a pattern of hers. When things are going good for me, she isn't happy. When things are going good for her and I'm happy about it...she isn't happy that I'm happy. I'm sorry, but I've just never been a very envious person - no matter who you are or what you have. I Celebrate with you and hope that when the occasion calls for it, you celebrate with me. But, our back-and-forth has gone on all of our lives. We are only 3 years apart and more like sisters than aunt and niece. I was fortunate that my parents (her grandparents) were able to give me more than most children and I grew up rather priviledged. My sister was not able to afford the same lifestyle but my parents compensated for that most of the time. But, my niece resented that and I don't think it ever left her.</p> <p> </p> <p>With that being said and the start of a new year upon us, one thing on my To-Do list (I don't do resolutions) is to change the people I surround myself with. For the most part, I have positive and supportive friendships - they all thrive and give me great pleasure. But for those that do not fall in that category, I'm going to distance myself. Life is too short to fill it with people who aren't in your corner or have positive things to contribute to your time here on earth. I'm drawing a line in the sand to take back the energy, time and wasted negative emotions the wrong kind of people extract from my life.</p> <p> </p> <p>Merry Christmas</p> <p> </p>

That is awesome you go girl!!!

[kll724 3,055]

So sad, I know several people who have lost relationships. I don't understand the jealousy. It is a shame that people can't be happy for you! Well, don't let it get you down, you sound like you are a positive person! Best wishes, maybe your attitude will rub off on your niece! Merry Christmas, back at you! Karen..aka..kll724