I'm having a bit of a tough time

[Arts137 1,811]

GREAT thread!!!!!

I believe we can trap and contain our fat brain. But "Skippy", my fat brain is tricly and vigalent, and is waiting every day with "why not", and "just a bit" and "this is no fun", and who's watching"...

Every day. So I just keep on keeping on...

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

When I was 380 lbs...I thought about my situation and weight and what I could or should do about it almost every minute of the day and night..What i went through and how it was molding me into a very sad and lonely person...Looking at the results of not doing anything was a wheel chair or worse...Every moment I was consumed with it...

Now as I am losing and stalling and gaining, I love the whole idea that I am no longer in a place where I know it was every day that it could have been the end of me.....

I posted yesterday something similar to this....worrying about myself getting to goal and will I be ready...I am enjoying the new me..The fact that I can do so much and have energy...

I don't think about it every min. but when I talk about it I still talk as if I cured hunger for the entire world..I am still fascinated that I was able to come this far and accomplish all of this with as much as I have gone through.....

I deserve to be thin and healthy, I paid dearly for the right..Will it bore me..I hope so, I hope it becomes so routine that I never think about it or talk about it anymore and that how I look when it is all over will be me....A fat me a distant memory...The new me rising above the limited life of who I was before...

Bored, never.....

I talk less about it now then I used to, except on here...My hubby and daughter and friend bare the burden of listening to me about all of the ups and downs.....But in my case I almost died..I appreciate the fact that I am here to talk about it.....

They seem to concur.....

I will never look at this as just a part of my life..This was a new beginning for me and I will always think of it as not a diet, not a program....but a miracle that gave me back my life.....

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

I hate to post this on top of RJ's beautiful post, so RJ please know I read it and appreciate your viewpoint as always.

I was diagnosed with ADHD several years ago…maybe even as many as 5? I don't know. I saw something shiny.

But seriously, I was pretty diligent about taking the medication for a while and I still do occasionally when I have a big project that requires my laser focus. But two things hold me back from taking it regularly. The first is that (for me anyway) I am prescribed by a psychiatrist who handles my husband and daughter's medication; she is not covered by our insurance, and she is expensive. And she (smartly) requires follow-ups. As much as I think it's a bit of a racket, I know that the check-ins are important and they have the greater need for them right now. The second is that I've had this all my life and being in my 40s have already come up with some pretty fantastic coping strategies. I don't think it's a coincidence that the kind of work I do is kind of ADHD in nature. I manage two different nonprofits and am constantly shifting gears and being interrupted. I might go from writing a grant to talking to a donor to settling a dispute to making up name cards in a two hour period. So my tendency to get distracted is not usually a problem; if I were the type of person who had to do everything in a specific order or be upset, I would not be as successful at what I do.

The odd thing that I have noticed about being sleeved is that when "what/when am I going to eat" is taken off the table, the effect on my work is strangely similar to taking my adderall. Because I also like to cook. So I guess knowing that I will go to the fridge and cut up some chicken breast for myself at 11:30, means that I don't drop everything and run to the store to get stuff to make that new recipe I want to try. I just keep working at what I'm doing. I am still cooking a lot for my family, but for example last night I had planned to make them an Italian Pasta dish out of some leftovers from earlier in the week, and I knew it wasn't going to work for me. So I made it, went to work out, came back and made myself some steak. In the past I would have started it around 4:30, poured a glass of wine, skipped the workout, and said, "Oh, eff it" and eaten with them.

When I really stop and list the little adjustments like this it's mind-boggling.

What was I talking about again? Oh yeah. I have the ADHD.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I hate to post this on top of RJ's beautiful post, so RJ please know I read it and appreciate your viewpoint as always.

I was diagnosed with ADHD several years ago…maybe even as many as 5? I don't know. I saw something shiny.

But seriously, I was pretty diligent about taking the medication for a while and I still do occasionally when I have a big project that requires my laser focus. But two things hold me back from taking it regularly. The first is that (for me anyway) I am prescribed by a psychiatrist who handles my husband and daughter's medication; she is not covered by our insurance, and she is expensive. And she (smartly) requires follow-ups. As much as I think it's a bit of a racket, I know that the check-ins are important and they have the greater need for them right now. The second is that I've had this all my life and being in my 40s have already come up with some pretty fantastic coping strategies. I don't think it's a coincidence that the kind of work I do is kind of ADHD in nature. I manage two different nonprofits and am constantly shifting gears and being interrupted. I might go from writing a grant to talking to a donor to settling a dispute to making up name cards in a two hour period. So my tendency to get distracted is not usually a problem; if I were the type of person who had to do everything in a specific order or be upset, I would not be as successful at what I do.

The odd thing that I have noticed about being sleeved is that when "what/when am I going to eat" is taken off the table, the effect on my work is strangely similar to taking my adderall. Because I also like to cook. So I guess knowing that I will go to the fridge and cut up some chicken breast for myself at 11:30, means that I don't drop everything and run to the store to get stuff to make that new recipe I want to try. I just keep working at what I'm doing. I am still cooking a lot for my family, but for example last night I had planned to make them an Italian Pasta dish out of some leftovers from earlier in the week, and I knew it wasn't going to work for me. So I made it, went to work out, came back and made myself some steak. In the past I would have started it around 4:30, poured a glass of wine, skipped the workout, and said, "Oh, eff it" and eaten with them.

When I really stop and list the little adjustments like this it's mind-boggling.

What was I talking about again? Oh yeah. I have the ADHD.

Why would I think otherwise Fluffnomore. This thread is not about my opinion only....K

Edited December 21, 2013 by RJ'S/beginning

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

I just meant I was responding to something earlier, and didn't want you to think I didn't hear what you said.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I just meant I was responding to something earlier, and didn't want you to think I didn't hear what you said.

I know that hun.....no problems here!!!I always enjoy your thoughts too!!!!!!

[sophiepants 489]

Awwww GG This is why I love ya gal!! I'm in the same place right now. We are only a few weeks apart and I'm with ya here.

My poor husband is trying to escape me I think....sigh. I know we will get through this soon. Maybe it's the holiday also....time to reflect and all. IDK or time to look forward to the next years. again IDK

However if you figure it out do share with me.

[Arts137 1,811]

I just meant I was responding to something earlier, and didn't want you to think I didn't hear what you said.

Squirrel!

What??

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

WHERE?!?!?!

[ribearty 544]

GG,

Enjoy the ride to get to goal. Don't rush the process. I have learned a lot of patience through my work. I work in project management and yes you want to get everything done quickly, but it has to be correct and approved by so many people. This takes time which has helped me not want instantaneous results. When I met with my surgeon's PA at my last visit, I mentioned my goal. She suggested first hitting a goal 20 pounds higher. I have weighed that goal before and know I won't be happy at it. One of my goals is to have a normal BMI which seems like a lifetime ago since I had one.

I tend to be a person too if I don't complete the goal, I can fall off course because I think I didn't make it anyway so this won't hurt. I am working on the messages I send to myself and making myself aware when these messages start to appear. All these message if I listen to them will keep me from reaching my goal or delay it.

This time I am not going to sabotage myself and give in to my fat brain.

[JourneyToLife 119]

Hello GameGirl,

I am glad to see that you and I are feeling the same way... My advise to you for all of this is quite simple... Just don't worry about it... Keep on keeping on and learn to love your new self as you change whether it's slower than you want... Keep getting in your Protein first and keep hydrated... It is a new lifestyle for us and we have to just go with it... Like with any new toy, the fascination wears off... Focus on yourself and why you have decided to change your lifestyle... And think if you never had the sleeve done, you would be miserable because of the excess weight you're carrying around... Let's be happy we get to live another day thinner and healthier than we were in the past... I am everything you described I just choose not to let it bother me and be grateful for my health...

[MIJourney 490]

GG, it's the winter solstice thing! Ya, that's what it is

[NothingUpMySleeve 244]

I'm not so much bored yet as I am just...annoyed by how consumed I am with thinking about my stomach and my weight, it is the ultimate test of patience!

Also, I'm naming my fat brain Ursula in honor of everyone's favorite evil sea witch diva who always felt she was "wasting away to practically nothing." Come to think of it, my new stomach is awfully...musical...so maybe I'll name it Ariel and rock the whole theme.

[gamergirl 4,610]

I'm not so much bored yet as I am just...annoyed by how consumed I am with thinking about my stomach and my weight, it is the ultimate test of patience! Also, I'm naming my fat brain Ursula in honor of everyone's favorite evil sea witch diva who always felt she was "wasting away to practically nothing." Come to think of it, my new stomach is awfully...musical...so maybe I'll name it Ariel and rock the whole theme.

That was funny

Oh the stomach and eating and drinking was ALL I could think about for at least 3 months. I had to kick myself into work gear which is unusual for a workaholic like me. It took up all my mental bandwidth for sure

[Arts137 1,811]

I am sure that Ursula and Skippy would make a FUN FAT pair!