I'm having a bit of a tough time

[gamergirl 4,610]

I'm having a tough time. It's four months in, and it seems like the early days of weight just falling off every morning have slowed down. My size hasn't changed in a month or two, the scale is being willful, but mainly, I am being impatient.

I'm sure this is all normal, the only reason I'm putting it down here is to share that part of the journey where the shine sort of wears off, and this becomes your daily life, and you've lost the high that comes from early surgery success.

I am still not having trouble eating right, I'm still getting in my Protein and my Water, so that part is still going well. I'm not missing things or craving things uncontrollably, my relationship with my family is still as rewarding as it was, work is even more exciting than it was 3 months ago, so really, everything is going well. I've also lost 66% of my excess weight in 4 months so that too is going well. '

So what's not going well you ask?

I'm bored with this whole weight loss thing. Seriously, it's as simple as that.

I want to be at goal already! I'm sick of thinking about weight loss and smaller sizes. I want to just wake up and go about my life and not wonder if I'm at goal, or how much more I have to lose (27 lbs but who is counting?) My weight didn't define me before but I am starting to feel like I'm letting it define me more now. Did I lose? did I gain? When will I lose? Why did I gain? When will my size change again?

Bored.

LIke I said, I'm sure it's normal and for vets who have been doing it longer than me, I'm sure they can relate. But it caught me by surprise. How could losing weight become boring?! Isn't it the most exciting thing ever?! Well yes, but the routine has set in, the new has worn off, and it's just life now.

Tell me I'm not the only one?

[BKLYNgal87 503]

My friend, I am going through the exact same thing [boredom/complacency], except I have not been so good about the food choices for the last week or so. I gained a lb and a half that I managed to take off again, but this time of year it is very hard to walk away from the table. It's a struggle each day. I'm not giving up though. I'm 35 lbs to goal and I've gotta accept it's gonna take a while to pass is home stretch .

[Bufflehead 6,358]

ugh, you could have written this right out of my brain. I'm six months out and the weight loss has slowed to an absolute crawl over the last four weeks. You are my MFP friend, you can check my diary and see, I am following a pretty standard program religiously. It gets tiring to work so hard at getting everything right and still the scale doesn't budge (or hardly ever budges). So I find myself thinking, why not just eat that cupcake? Now, I'm not actually going to do it, but the fact that even crosses my mind annoys me. I'm hoping that my week away with my family in California, eating a bit differently (though still on plan) and focusing on different things, will both maybe get the scale moving a bit and give me the ability to come back to this fresh with a better attitude after Christmas.

[McButterpants 2,846]

Hi there!

I'm 5 weeks out and bored to tears with myself - I'm sick of hearing myself when I talk to my husband for the millionth time about the surgery or how I'm feeling or how the scale is or isn't moving. My dad asked me a question the other night about eating and I found I was boring myself with the answer!

This journey is about so much more than losing pounds or what size you are. I'm not sure I was prepared for the emotional/brain side of this journey.

I think it's easy to fall into a trap where you identify yourself as a WLS patient or someone who is losing weight. Do you think that's what you've become? Maybe before WLS you identified yourself as a wife, or mother or employee and that changed when you had surgery. I suspect that has happened to me.

I wish I had words of wisdom for you. I suspect there will be many responses to this thread by much smarter people than I and who are further along in their journey. But I also think there will be people in all stages of their journeys that will respond.

Sending you much love and support!

[Arts137 1,811]

I am slowwwwwly losing and in the middle of an over month long stall (at 6.5 months)

BUT, you said:

"I'm bored with this whole weight loss thing. Seriously, it's as simple as that.

I want to be at goal already! I'm sick of thinking about weight loss and smaller sizes. I want to just wake up and go about my life and not wonder if I'm at goal, or how much more I have to lose (27 lbs but who is counting?) My weight didn't define me before but I am starting to feel like I'm letting it define me more now."

THAT (IMHO) is your fat brain talking!!! At least, my fat brain "Skippy" says this to me all the time. This is NOT a diet. This is NOT getting to goal, because when we GET to goal we have to still be on "our" program.

Just keep on keeping on, my good friend. PS Skippy says we should have a cookie. But I don't think so.

Edited December 20, 2013 by Arts137

[gamergirl 4,610]

I think if it weren't for this forum where I could talk ad nauseum about my WLS, my husband would have run away from home out of sheer boredom with me continuously talking about it! He was sleeved too, but whatever he just goes on with life. He does shop a lot more and looks amazing but he doesn't obsess about it like I do except when he has to buy smaller clothes.

It definitely defined me for the first three months. Part of why work is exciting again is because my brain has shifted away from "GG who had the sleeve! Yay!" to "The old GG who loves work and family".

And Arts, I think you hit the nail on the head. I do accept that this is the rest of my life. I mean let's say I hit goal tomorrow. What would I do differently? Up my calories, but I have trouble eating my calories now so it's hardly something I'm dying to do. Nothing would be different. This is it. For the rest of my life I'll be eating Protein first and drinking lots of Water and staying away from bad carbs.

I ordered hundreds of dollars worth of chocolates for my clients and realized that I would never again be ordering a box of chocolates for myself. Not now, not when I'm at goal. I might eat one if I'm out somewhere, but they won't be in my house.

So I do get that nothing will be different at goal. This is the rest of my life. And perhaps the fact that it is become routinized and boring is a good thing.

I don't know

[southernsoul 773]

I feel ya, honey. I've been going up & down the same 2 lbs for several weeks now & it's frustrating. I don't wonder so much about getting to goal, but that's mainly because I still don't have a goal number in mind. My best guess is that I have about 60 more lbs to lose, which would put me around 170. My issue is that I'm happy with where I am right now, and I think I could easily live the rest of my life at a size 16 with no problems whatsoever. You & I have talked about this before, and I think it's a damnably seductive trap for me. I'm afraid it will make me lazy or lead me to justify bad food choices.

Maybe we're just so accustomed to our "fat brains" being always obsessed with food that it's hard to get into a different mindset? I know for a fact that my naturally thin mother hardly ever thinks about food or cooking or weight or size, and that has always blown my mind.

[gamergirl 4,610]

I feel ya, honey. I've been going up & down the same 2 lbs for several weeks now & it's frustrating. I don't wonder so much about getting to goal, but that's mainly because I still don't have a goal number in mind. My best guess is that I have about 60 more lbs to lose, which would put me around 170. My issue is that I'm happy with where I am right now, and I think I could easily live the rest of my life at a size 16 with no problems whatsoever. You & I have talked about this before, and I think it's a damnably seductive trap for me. I'm afraid it will make me lazy or lead me to justify bad food choices.

Maybe we're just so accustomed to our "fat brains" being always obsessed with food that it's hard to get into a different mindset? I know for a fact that my naturally thin mother hardly ever thinks about food or cooking or weight or size, and that has always blown my mind.

This is my worry as well. I don't want to become complacent. I'm not satisfied with my current size, mainly because I now see what is possible. Before the surgery, it would have been nothing but wishful thinking to believe I could get here. I don't want to sabotage myself just because I stopped paying attention.

So difficult to pay attention when i'm bored!

[LouiseC 1,031]

I know my husband is bored with my weight loss and sleeve! I have certainly had times over the past twenty months where I have bored myself with it, or where someone has wanted to talk about it and I just couldn't care less in that moment.

But overall I have now incorporated it into who I am. I can talk about my kids, my hubby, my work, my yoga, our garden, our wine collection, my gym, our boat, and my sleeve with equal enthusiasm. It is a part of me and a part of how I live my life. That said, the focus is no longer on weight loss for me. I am not expecting to lose much more weight until I have plastics for the excess skin. So for me, the focus is now very much on living my life.

Thinking back, at the times when I got bored with it all, all I t took was a big drop on the scales to get me all excited again! So maybe when you get a big drop it will all kick off for you again?

I have really enjoyed reading your posts here. You don't ever strike me as someone who is going to be boring :-)

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

What scares me is that I've already had the feeling of "Maybe I'm close enough" which I know to be absolute claptrap, but it rears its ugly head. I would have been reasonably happy to pull off this much weight loss from my high weight.

And actually I can't talk much about this in real life, so the board is it. But I have had to do some thinking lately about the self-sabotage brain (Trippy to Arts' Skippy?) who is tripping if she thinks we're done. And yet sometimes she thinks we're done. At 8 weeks! Uh, no.

It's a constant readjustment of the mind, isn't it?

Trippy.

[No game 14,437]

I went through that at about the same time frame..

I felt pretty good I bought a bunch of new clothes that I really like at a "regular" store and I got to feeling complacent... I stayed happy with the loss and my new duds for a little while then went on to be interested in losing again (at a snails pace mind you ) just like our body's go through stalls (resting periods) our brains go through them too.

[scarlet333 386]

I'm bored with this whole weight loss thing. Seriously, it's as simple as that.

I know some times it seems like we are always thinking of grams of Protein, drinking enough Water, exercise, time between eating and drinking etc. I also feel I was obsessed with my weight before I had weight loss surgery but just in a different way. For example getting out of bed each morning reminded me of my swollen feet, and painful knees. As I showered each morning I would think this bath towel does not fit around my body. As I got dressed each morning I would think what could I wear that day that would disguise my size. When getting on my morning train ride I would think I hope I fit in the seat and the person next to me wouldn't feel I was taking up more than my share of room. As I bought my Breakfast I thought I hope others are not thinking why is that fat chick buying that bagel she really shouldn't. At work I hoped I wasn't asked to have to walk around the office building too much because my feet would swell. In my social life I actually dreaded invitations because I didn't have anything flattering to wear and would have to buy something new thinking it might make me look thinner. Well believe me I could go on and on how being obese affected every aspect of my life.

Now 9 months later I do feel like I think about weight frequently but now its this towel fits around me quite nicely. I could wear anything in my closet and its not too tight and looks good on me, imagine I can actually jog around my neighborhood and not feel ashamed. I look forward to social invitations because I can't wait to wear something special and feel proud.

Now as to the slow down in weight loss well can I relate. Today was my 9 month check up with my surgeon. I was relieved that I had loss 8 pounds since my last weigh in at 3 months ago. Keep in mind that 4 of those pounds were lost in the last 3 weeks. One thing he said to me that has really sunk in my mind is to remember to "chew" your calories. This means even though I was staying reasonable close to my calorie level, I was eating a lot of yogurt, cottage cheese, laughing cow cheese spread and Protein drinks. All of these things are good Snacks but if I ate more dense Protein it would fill me up more so that I might be able to resist that 100 calorie cottage cheese or 100 calorie Protein Drink. I think this is true to for me because I have noticed my calorie level sneaking up slightly because I am starting to feel more hungry. Instead of one of these soft Snacks I should be eating more dense protein. By the weigh what has broken my stall was joining the christmas/new years challenge on this website. It has caused me to really focus on diet and exercise.

The bottom line is this is for life but I do believe once we have maintained for a while it will become so ingrained that we will not notice the obsession with all the little things.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

are you ADHD? just wondering. you seem a lot like me. i have ADHD. i have gotten treatment for it for the past several years. BUT it's a huge part of my eating issues. and so i am frequently running up against it in dealing with life without overeating. it's not something that magically goes away, it's a lifetime issue and understanding how it affects me post op is required for my recovery.

[gamergirl 4,610]

are you ADHD? just wondering. you seem a lot like me. i have ADHD. i have gotten treatment for it for the past several years. BUT it's a huge part of my eating issues. and so i am frequently running up against it in dealing with life without overeating. it's not something that magically goes away, it's a lifetime issue and understanding how it affects me post op is required for my recovery.

You know I don't know. I might very well be, and if you ask those close to me, they'd say I was impatient and multi-tasking constantly and they would be right. I can also focus on things for long periods of time though, such as read for hours on end, or focus on a presentation for hours so I'm not really sure.

I do know I get bored easily, and my brain needs to stay stimulated. I have thought of being checked for it, but the honest truth is that to some extent, this seems to be the hallmark of success for many a senior executive. I know my impatience with details and a desire for the bottom line is a time saving mechanism that I developed as my career progressed. I used to be very detail oriented as a junior person and as I progressed, I had to become a high-level, top-line findings kind of a person. So some of that is a different way of thinking, not a different personality, if that makes sense.

So I am reluctant to "drug it out of me" so to speak. But I really don't even know if I'd be diagnosed that way or not.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

you might want to look at the check lists online for adult ADHD. i have found there are very few professionals who know much about adult ADHD. so my PCP and i researched it together and she is comfortable treating me herself. she sent me to someone who she sends kids to for assessments and without asking me a single question about my childhood experiences, symptoms or anything else decided i was "probably not ADHD" because i had graduated from college. huh? i refused to even pay him my copay and when my doctor asked him for an in writing assessment, he said i needed 500$ "tests" before he could do anything! what a hack! anyway, my point, you're smart, research it yourself and then come to your own conclusion. it might very well impact your recovery, so its worth looking into. adults with AdHD are much more likely to be overweight, since food can play a big role in helping us cope.