CrazyJaney 775 Posted December 20, 2013 The all or nothing thinking is my biggest foe. Tonight, after a hard, kinda awful day at work I got stuck in the worst traffic (rush hour, holiday, etc). I was so thirsty. I started thinking about how my job lends itself to self abuse. I never stop to pee. I inhale my food. I run from one emergency to another. I listen to and fix other peoples problems ALL DAMN day. It's my job. I signed up for it. But I'm sitting in traffic, thinking about how I think maybe a career change is in order- how little I prioritize time, energy for myself and I start to think how thirsty I am. And how Arby's is just RIGHT there. And how one coke wouldn't hurt , and hell, while I'm being "bad" wouldn't a Beef N Cheddar taste so good after this really, really crappy day????? Like, surgery is still 3 months away - why would it hurt to have a delicious Beef N Cheedar? Right? And then I resisted. I drove past Arby's and their deliciously BAD food, and I felt the thirst. I sat it the car and thought about thirst. What it physiologically means. What it's telling my body. And I told myself "YOU CAN DO THIS". And I drove through more traffic and past many more fast food places, and I finally made it home (2hours later). And I made my dinner, scanning every content into MFP. And I survived. So I'm going to Celebrate that one small victory because that voice in my head that says "go ahead, that's not a big deal in the scheme of things" is NOT. MY. REAL. VOICE. And I'm not listening to it anymore. The End. PS: I don't know how I could embark on this endeavor without this safe place. Truly, thank you. 12 joatsaint, southernsoul, No game and 9 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LipstickLady 25,682 Posted December 20, 2013 Huge victory! You can do this, no doubt about it. Now carry a healthy snack and some Water in your car. 3 Arts137, CrazyJaney and gourmetone reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeanZ_RN 378 Posted December 20, 2013 WooHOOOOOO! You done GREAT!! Congratulations! If you're caught without Water again -- which I bet you won't be after this, but anyway -- try gum or a breath mint. They can help a bit with thirst. 1 CrazyJaney reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nsquared 232 Posted December 20, 2013 I am so proud of you and you should be too! This journey is full of those kinds of moments and what you chose was great. Sometimes, you may make a different choice and that is ok too because what you did tonight proves YOU CAN DO IT! Keep making good choices for yourself. 1 CrazyJaney reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
joatsaint 2,814 Posted December 20, 2013 Congrats on getting past that "voice". I hear it too. It's like a little kid pulling on my sleeve that I can't get rid of. 1 CrazyJaney reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyJaney 775 Posted December 20, 2013 Congrats on getting past that "voice". I hear it too. It's like a little kid pulling on my sleeve that I can't get rid of. Kinda liked being pecked to death by a flock of geese! Fast food is,has always been, my downfall. 1 joatsaint reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
No game 14,437 Posted December 20, 2013 Good for you! I'm glad you took the time to truly take care of yourself Oh yes the voice! It still talks to me sometimes.. All or nothing? I very occasionally get wooed by the voice and fall off the wagon. But the thing that I realize now is that I don't have to have the all or nothing mentality. If I slip up one day it's only that day and doesn't mean an all encompassing feeling of failure and giving up. 2 gmanbat and CrazyJaney reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
southernsoul 773 Posted December 20, 2013 Good for you!! That's a really big moment when you make a new choice in response to the voice & it should definitely be celebrated. Go, you!! 1 CrazyJaney reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gmanbat 5,889 Posted December 20, 2013 The battles you win add up even if you lose a battle...fall down....get back up.....keep fighting...war won. 3 gourmetone, No game and CrazyJaney reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seela 1,187 Posted December 20, 2013 That is not a small victory, it's huge!! Good for you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
planetheather 137 Posted December 20, 2013 Congratulations! You have every right to be proud of yourself. I'm 3 months post op and if I could talk to my 3-month pre-op self, I would say the same things you just posted. I would also tell my pre-op self to never go anywhere without a bottle of Water in my bag and a packet of Designer whey Protein 2Go powder (my emergency snack option of choice). Find what works for you and get used to having that always (like a spare pair of reading glasses after your 40th birthday). :-) 2 gmanbat and CrazyJaney reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheRealMeIsHere! 863 Posted December 20, 2013 The all or nothing thinking is my biggest foe. Tonight, after a hard, kinda awful day at work I got stuck in the worst traffic (rush hour, holiday, etc). I was so thirsty. I started thinking about how my job lends itself to self abuse. I never stop to pee. I inhale my food. I run from one emergency to another. I listen to and fix other peoples problems ALL DAMN day. It's my job. I signed up for it. But I'm sitting in traffic, thinking about how I think maybe a career change is in order- how little I prioritize time, energy for myself and I start to think how thirsty I am. And how Arby's is just RIGHT there. And how one coke wouldn't hurt , and hell, while I'm being "bad" wouldn't a Beef N Cheddar taste so good after this really, really crappy day????? Like, surgery is still 3 months away - why would it hurt to have a delicious Beef N Cheedar? Right? And then I resisted. I drove past Arby's and their deliciously BAD food, and I felt the thirst. I sat it the car and thought about thirst. What it physiologically means. What it's telling my body. And I told myself "YOU CAN DO THIS". And I drove through more traffic and past many more fast food places, and I finally made it home (2hours later). And I made my dinner, scanning every content into MFP. And I survived. So I'm going to Celebrate that one small victory because that voice in my head that says "go ahead, that's not a big deal in the scheme of things" is NOT. MY. REAL. VOICE. And I'm not listening to it anymore. The End. PS: I don't know how I could embark on this endeavor without this safe place. Truly, thank you. THAT'S when you KNOW you are ready for this life changing surgery. Go Jen!!!!! 2 CrazyJaney and gmanbat reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites