My struggle

[Roo101769 742]

I have turned to this forum to get this off my chest. I have been struggling and a lot of it is mental, so I thought perhaps writing it down could help somehow. I am not looking for absolution. I just need to figure a way to wrap my head around my problem, deal with it, then figure a way to move forward. I was sleeved almost two months ago. I very recently found out that my new stomach can tolerate slider (junk) food with little to no issue at all. This is very disheartening for me to deal with. I really wished I would have been one who could not stomach sugar or greasey foods post op. But no, the stomach that was always made of Iron continues to be, even if much smaller. It all started innocently enough, one bite. That was all it seemed to take. I know I am a carb junkie and have been trying to stay away from them so not to kick my addiction back in. But having so much junk around me, more so now at Christmas time...Needless to say my head hunger has taken over. I have done poorly for about a week now. Pre op I had dieted and lost about 33lbs since August. Even then I was starting to have real problems controling the addiction. I have only lost 25lbs post op. While 25lbs lost is 25 more pounds gone, I am also sort of disappointed my loss hasn't been greater. And before anyone says anything, yes a large part of that is my fault. More the lack of exercise than eating wrong. (Until recently). I really just don't know how I got here. I want to push the reset button and start over. Never try those "forbidden" items to begin with. I know I need to kick my own butt, get back on track. I am really hoping I will soon have a close friend's support to keep me honest. (He was sleeved today) I just need to make it through the holidays ( when extra food just is) and get back on the bandwagon. Anyone who says food (especially carbs) aren't addictive is a fool and doesn't know anything! This addiction is just as hard to fight. I appreciate I can come here to unload and try to make sense of it all. I know everyone here knows this struggle...

[Mkak 251]

Hey Roo! I'm right there with ya with the sleeve of steel and carb addiction. While I still struggle on the weekends, I have nipped my weekday issues in the bud by exercising before work. Not sure if your schedule allows it, but I feel it gets my head in the game for the day and I find myself not wanting to "waste" a kick-ass AM workout session on (insert crappy carb of choice here) later on in the day.

You definitely went through step 1 by identifying the issue and "coming clean" on here to yourself. Now go get it girl. Start the New Year off with a killer loss on January 1. No regrets!

[southernsoul 773]

I went back & looked at my own weight loss chart. At 2 months out I had lost 32 lbs from surgery, so I don't think your 25 lbs is in any way short of the mark. Also, I didn't start exercising (except for 30 min of walking about 4 times a week) until I was about 3 months out, so I really don't think lack of exercise makes a difference at 2 months. You are on a good track, even if it may not feel like it right now.

Lots of WLS peeps struggle with carb addictions postop, so you're definitely not alone. Good for you for recognizing the dangerous behaviors & for taking steps to address it. Does your hospital have a support group you could go to? Or maybe a therapist who has experience in eating disorders?

Arts137 posted a great article the other day about carbs & the effect they have on our brains. It's eye-opening!

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/290535-carbs-and-cocaine/page-2?hl=%2Bcarbs+%2Bcocaine#entry3282212

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

Forward go girl.....Like everyone on here you are bound to find that things can be eaten easily...Such as sweets, chips and my personal favorite sweet and salty pop corn...

You know what you are doing and we all do it..But if we don't get a hold of it then the tool won't work for us...All of us have to be aware of our weaknesses and stay away..It is not easy by any means...i know!!

Take a few days and eat clean..very clean..Lots of Protein and no carbs of any sort...It will be hard but you will once again detox yourself......

You like me and all of us will always struggle with issues like these because that is what we used to comfort us....Win the game of the head and then you will win the game of the body....K

[IdahoGirl32 89]

Every time you wake up in the morning is a chance to start over and be the person you want to be. When I find myself wanting something that aI know I'll feel bad about eating later, I just remind myself that people have wanted things a lot Kore than I want that french fry and lived without it. You are stronger than you realize - tomorrow is a new day!

[Roo101769 742]

Thanks everyone. Today IS a new day and I am going to do everything I can to make the right choices. I really appreciate the support and advice. Being a single mom I really can't go to a support group as I have no one to watch my daughter. So this is my support group! And you all do support. I am going to do what I can to stay motivated. This morning I weighed myself and I am down another pound, so that helped. I am just going to put one foot in front of the other and dig deep. When the carb monkey rears it's ugly head, well it is time to take a walk. I will eat lean Protein and fill myself on that. I don't need junk and I am better than that. Thank you all for reminding me!

[MichiganChic 3,262]

We all have our issues. We are human and not perfect. Don't let a few days of being derailed define you. Chalk it up to a learning experience. So yes, today is a new day, and you CAN do this! You've identified that it's hard, and you have found what we all figure out sooner or later, that it is hard but so well worth the effort. It's what we do for the long haul, day after day, that makes the difference.

One thing that helps me is to not have the junk readily available. No one in my house needs it either. I've found when its around, I struggle so much more. Out of sight, out of mind

[Arts137 1,811]

1. We love you.

2. We are not going to beat you up. I hope we each realize that "there but for the grace of God go I"

OK, I (intellectually) knew that the Sleeve was not magical. But emotionally I just wanted the sleeve to work automatically. Maybe it would be a switch that would turn off my hunger. Maybe the operation would automatically make be want only the 'nutritious' food and change my taste buds so that I'd hate "slider" foods. Maybe the sleeve would end my work and life stress. Maybe the sleeve would vacuum the carpets... (um, sorry)

Nope.

For me it is a tool and nothing magical at all. I CAN eat around the sleeve. I can eat a lot more than I thought I could and I also have a stomach of steel. Aside from one episode of nausea and vomiting, I have had NO problems. I think I could eat a box of carpet tacks.

I have had good loss. I am coming up to 7 months out and am down 100# from my heaviest weight and 45# down from surgery. I have been in a frustrating stall for over a month, sigh, but I press on...

But I have a fat brain (named, as many folks here know, "Skippy"). Skippy wants me to eat. ALL the time. I can only deal with Skippy by having a daily eating plan. I know what I will eat and when I will eat and that's it. I just never change from the plan -- not because it's fun or because I don't WANT to -- but because Skippy is freaking insane and is FULL of wonderful snack ideas...

Also, from reading here and other research, I have come to believe that I am a Carb Addict. Period. One day I had a bananna... and was STARVING the rest of the day. One day I had a small (tiny) rice pudding cup... and was starving for the rest of the day. This made no sense. BUT I have found that IF I can stay on a very strict low carb eating plan (NO sugars and NO starches and NO processed carbs) for 3 or 4 very difficult days it does get easier. And after about a week, I really don't mind the temptations of TV, work parties, and home; and I no longer have terrible and painful cravings. 3 or 4 TOUGH days to pay for a much easier time later, with Skippy being quiet in the background rather than continuously whispering in my ear.

PS, I have given up longing to be normal... I never was and I refuse to "long" to be fat any more.

• I struggle every day with eating slowly,
• I drink coffe, my NUT is not happy, but it's the only drug I've got left. PS, I drink it black -- took a month to transition to black coffee but I did,
• I drink no soda, diet or otherwise, no beer, nothing bubbly
• I do not smoke (thank God)
• I limit my alcohol to special occasions,
• I get my Water in
• I get my Protein in
• I write everything down
• I take the Vitamins required

PS, we love you, and this book helped me:

http://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Get-Fat-About/dp/0307474259

[scarlet333 386]

We are so with you and understand this problem. When I was 16 years old I had my jaw wired shut due to a broken jaw. I did not loose a lot of weight even though I was unable to eat for 6 weeks and then only soft foods for and additional week or 2. Why? Because I found I was able to drink a milk shake with no problem. The reason I am telling this story is because we can always find a way around anything.

I am one of those strange people who actually enjoy exercise and have actually exercised on a regular basis almost all of my adult life (even when obese). The lesson in this is that we can over eat almost any exercise we do. So while exercise is great for us and I recommend everyone should incorporate exercise into there life on a regular basis, its what we are eating that actually makes us loose/gain weight.

Having said all of this I have had periods of time during the 9 months I've been sleeved where I have indulged in the dreaded sliders. My advice would be to think of this struggle as 1 day at a time. It might be overwhelming to tell ourselves to stop eating those tempting sliders/carbs forever but what I try to do is just to get through this day. I tell myself when I get into my bed tonight I want to feel proud of what I ate. One day leads to another and another. If there is a slip well I focus on the next day as a "perfect" day.

The other thing is I've stopped telling myself I am buying the Cookies, candy, cake, ice cream etc. for my kids. I try to be something for them as a treat that will not tempt me (for example gold fish, pretzels, ice pops). These things are not something I would normally binge on so present less of a temptation. The tempting items are just not convenient for me in my home calling my name.

Good Luck. You can and will do this.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

i have ordered both books Arts......

http://www.amazon.co...t/dp/0307474259

[Roo101769 742]

I am going to look into those books as well. The thing is I KNOW the whole "refined carbs are bad for me" thing. I lived the proof by cutting them out and losing the 33lbs pre op. It is just a daily struggle, as any addict will have, to stay away from the drug of choice. I thought I would be able to sail through Christmas time without that addiction working me. I was wrong. The rest of the year I stay away from them. They are there, but I have an easier time turning a blind eye. But this month has been a lot harder than I thought. The extra treats and goodies. My daughter bringing home things. Friends dropping by with goodies "for my daughter". I can easily avoid buying things I like that she can still have as treats. There are plenty of things I really don't care for that she loves! ( She loves gummies but really doesn't care that much for chocolate. Not me!) I just need to muster through the next week or so and then out with the old (again), and in with the new! I can and will do this. I truly appreciate the love and support from you all though. Makes the insecure times a lot easier to go through having people who "get it". Love you all!!!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I also saw the book Wheat Belly..I have heard a lot about that book lately. So I picked it up as well...boy I have some reading ahead of me...Must finish the classic I am reading right now fast...lol

[Meltzy 11]

Oh my! If we were all perfect we wouldn't be here! I am very new, sleeved on Dec 9/13. On day 5 post op I was craving sooo bad I sucked all the salt off a couple of potato chips!! This was when I was just figuring how to fit more than an oz of liquid at a time into myself!

Needless to say carb cravings are the devil himself sitting on our shoulders and will ALWAYS be there trying to temp us and we just have to do the best we can. Take our tumbles, then get back on our journey until the next time we get tripped up.