I met someone....

[SandyM 1,956]

Recently I met a lady who truly inspired me. I admit I at times have not been as sympathetic to people who were extremely obese. At first I didn't see myself in their category, then it became clear to me that I was and I was thoroughly disgusted with myself as well. I had the band due to this disgust and the knowledge that I was becoming disabled due to my weight and the knowledge that people saw me as a fat middle aged woman who had no control of her eating. I was finding it more and more difficult to get around, I was getting short of breath and my body ached in places that I didn't think should ache. My fat even hurt. That sounds wierd and when you tell someone thin that fat can hurt they look at you like you're crazy. But my fat physically hurt. I was ashamed of my reflection in the mirror, the store entry doors and even hated my own shadow. I didn't ride my bike anymore because of what people might think. I had become obcessed with my weight and was starting to stay home except to go to work and back.

Last week I met a lady that told me she weighed 300 lbs. She is pregnant and stated she had gained 8 lbs since being pregnant and that she had weighed 292 before getting pregnant. She commenced to tell me she had the lapband and had all of the Fluid taken out to give her baby the nutrition it needs. Secretly I was thinking, "well it wasn't working for you anyway". I've been losing weight slowly and have had this fear that one day the scales would just stop moving and I'd have the extra weight that would never come off. This has been a mental battle for me. So when I see people who have failed the band, it reenforces that fear in me. Anyway, I saw the same woman again yesterday and we started talking a little. Come to find out, she started at over 600 lbs. Shes not sure of the actual weight because she would have had to go to freight scale to get an accurate weight cuz her docs scales stopped at 600 lbs. I was instantly ashamed of myself and was truly inspired. This woman had lost over 300 lbs with the band. I gained a respect for her that I did not have going in. And as we talked, I realized she was a smart, inspiring lady. I'm sure she was this at 600 lbs as well. I gained a respect for her that I didn't start with. Not because of her weight loss, but because I got to know her a little.

Isn't it a shame that we cant look at people as they are until we get to know them. I've met beautiful people and thought they would be likable just to find that the only ones that could like them is themselves and I've met others that I probably wouldn't have given a second glance as a friend and liked them very much when I got to know them a little. I'm sure this happens when people meet me as well as I'm not necessarily that easy to love either. I spent time on my knees last night asking forgiveness for being judgemental and asking for more compassion and empathy. This lady opened up and told me how mean people had been to her while she was extremly obese and how it had made her someone she didn't like and had also made her get the surgery to turn things for herself. As a result of the weight loss she was able to get pregnant something she had given up hope for. So the ugliness did play a role in helping her, but its still sad.

I just wanted to share this. I think it's easy for us to fall in this trap. I'm just glad I realize this and will work as hard on this as I do on losing my excess weight. I just wanted to share. If ever I've hurt any feelings on this board, please forgive me, I don't want to be that person and that has never been my intention.

[Sherlock1969 231]

There is definitely a prejudice in this society against fat people....and as fat as I was (and frankly still am), I have been guilty of the same thing at times and have had to mentally put myself in check. I was reading a Facebook post one day by a distant male relative of mine...he was complaining about how he sees people in public who are obese and wearing Nike, Reebok, athletic type of clothes and shoes and he found it laughable that these fat people had the gall to wear these clothes, being I suppose, that they must NOT be exercising considering their heft. My response was, 'How do you know they didn't just drop 30 lbs? How do you know they are not working on it?' (Besides the obvious, which is, people can wear whatever the hell they want.) My comment did put him in his place. There are worse things then being fat; you could also be an a$$.

[Leepers 1,195]

Beautiful post. I too, woke up one day and realized I was one of those obese people. After a few years of self loathing and increased isolation, I will be getting my band tomorrow.

I'm a nurse and I know serval other nurses that have not been successful with the band. It has made me scared but also very aware that this will be work. You have to be committed.

Also, through this journey, I have confronted my own bias and discrimination toward the morbidly obese in my position as a nurse. I have found that, at times, I do treat them differently. I have vowed to stop this. I want to be successful with my band and I want to be able to pass this on to others who may need a friendly ear. Compassion.

After I had started the process of getting the band,I met a patient who had had the band and was successful with it. I got the chance to speak with her and she told me it was the best decision she had ever made. I really needed that, right then. I will never forget her and her kind words and advice.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[kll724 3,055]

Thank you Sandym, that truly is an inspiring post. It is wonderful to read at this time of year, too! We are truly blessed and you have seen the goodness and beauty in this woman that you might have ignored if you had not sat and talked to her! Karen..aka.. kll724

All three of you ladies inspire me, too! Merry Christmas to you, you send such cheer!!

Edited December 17, 2013 by kll724

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

Beautiful and touching post. Thank you so much for sharing it.

[JOANNE M HOLL 388]

You too are inspiring. Our tool will make us healthy, we have only to listen to it and search for our "Green Zone"!

Merry Christmas & Healthy New Year to all on BariatricPal!