I have my surgery date!

[JLB 0]

Thanks Maggiec! Reading your post really helped me. I haven't told anyone in my family or most of my friends. I only confided in one friend who lives in another province so we talk on the phone. Probably explains why I am having panic attacks every day - too much time to think about it in my own head and not verbalize my emotions. Writing in this forum and reading other posts really seems to help me cope with the worry.

I know we'll both probably be writing in this forum in about two months, conforting someone else in the pre-op stage, encouraging them and explaining how their feelings are warranted but they are definitely doing the right thing for their life and for their family. I can't wait till I'm on the other side of the banding date! Glad to be going thru this journey with you too!

[susansilver 0]

Hey count me in too! Maggie what you wrote is like a mirror image of what I feel. JLB - I have told very few people as well. I finally got up the courage to tell my 9 year old last night! I will be banded May 2 by Dr. Yau at Scarborough Grace hospital. YIKES!

Susan

[Gaffer 1]

All you guys will do fine. I remember it was not too long that I was going through all those feelings of guilt, excitement, concern and trying to focus on ourselves for a change. You are not only doing this for yourself, but you are also doing it for those you love.

Remember that you are not saying good bye to all you favoirite foods, you are just saying "see you later in more reasonable portions". Also remember that you will find new favorite foods. Last week I discovered I love sweet potatoes, who knew. I have had them more in the last 3 days than all my life. My wife thinks it is hilarious since I would have turned my nose up at them preop.

Andrew

[maggiec_38 0]

Hi Doddie,

what you said is exactly right!! I have to experience this for myself before I will get any assurance.. just seems like a long wait, and countdown.. I go for my physical thurs. with my GP and then it's one week before I start the optifast:paranoid . Then no turning back!! Thanks for the encouraging words, Maggie

[maggiec_38 0]

Hi,

I'm being banded by Dr. Cobourn on April 13th.

Susan I extend my:hand: hand to you also, we will go on this adventure together. maggie

[Doddie63 6]

HI: I wish all of you the easiest of times with your banding. You may experience a bit of pain for a short period of time but that will pass. Just have Gas x on hand. Comments of keeping your banding to yourself is a wise decision. Make good and sure who you tell, will support you. Most unfortuantely, I told my sister and she shocked me with her reaction of anger. She said I took the easy way out and that she would have nothing more to do with me. With the support of fellow bandsters on the web I have managed to get myself back into control. I lost it for a few days by grazing everything in sight but I am OK now. Making the decision to have the band "is not the easy way out". The band is a tool to help you maintain a healthy lifestyle, but all the old demons still have to be fought.

So not meaning to put a damper on your exciting day, just point out some of the down side, I wish you the best of success. Doddie

[JLB 0]

I know we will all do great! Just keeping focused on the real reasons we are doing this and how much healthier we will be is definitely going to help.

Doddie: I'm sorry to hear about your sister and her response. I can relate, this is exactly why I'm not telling my family, I envision the same response. Keep your head up, you know the truth and only you are responsible for your own actions, you are not responsible for the actions of others. Hopefully she will come around once she sees how hard you are working and how positive this has been for you. :welldoneclap:

[Doddie63 6]

Hi: Thanks JLB. Life is full of surprises, but this is your time and exciting time at that. Keep us posted. Best of results. Doddie

[susansilver 0]

Doddie - sorry to hear about your sister's reaction. I have told one of my two sisters - and she was very suppportive. I will not tell the other - or my dad either. I agree you have to pick and choose carefully who you trust with information.

Susan

[Doddie63 6]

very wise susan: I wish I had your wisdom when I made my decision to tell my sister. The signs were there, I just didn't want to see the "green eyes of jealousy" as I was seeking support. Just like everyone else, I wanted the band but went thru the gaunlet of emotions. Anyway, one learns life lessons in many ways and after coming to the conclusion (with help from the bandsters) that the decision was best for me I have moved on. But I will continue to caution other potential bandsters of the need for careful thought as to whom to reveal your decision to. Doddie

[Gaffer 1]

But I will continue to caution other potential bandsters of the need for careful thought as to whom to reveal your decision to. Doddie

I know what you mean. We did not want my wife's family to know so we only told her parents and her brother & his wife. I THOUGHT my sister in law could be trusted. So she blabs and tells her mom, despite being asked not to tell anyone. Her mom blabs it to my inlaw, plus her side of the family and god knows who else.

I was so pissed off I was shaking (this is what I do when I get furious). I had my wife call her brother, and he says "You should not have told us becasue you know she was gonna tell her mom" and proceeds to get angry at my wife:crazy: :welldoneclap: :Banane20: .

So now everybody knows which is not what I wanted.

Needless to say she is out of the circle.

Andrew

[Dame J 0]

Wow Andrew I would be so pissed. I am pissed just reading your post. Wow!!!

honestly I am glad that the only people I told were my parents, and they have told no one.

It is hard sometimes not letting others in on what you are doing, especailly when you let them in on everything else, but I have said it before and I will say it again, when it comes to weight loss surgery people are just way too judgemental. I didn't want people in my business, making judgements, and monitoring everything I do so I decided early not to tell people. It's hard but then again I use this forum for all the support, and venting that I need to express on the subject. :biggrin1:

[JLB 0]

Wow Andrew. I'm sorry the sister-in-law blabbed. Not cool!!! What was she thinking! If the roles were reversed, I bet she wouldn't appreciate her personal information being broadcasted.

I have only told one friend but I think I'm going to have to tell my mother because we often have supper together, etc so she might suspect something. I really don't want to tell her because she is the worst gossip but I don't see any other way around it.

:faint:

[Gaffer 1]

Trust me, I was none too happy. I have only chosen to tell those people who I know will be supportive & understanding. One of which I thought was my SIL. The only members of my own family that know are my parents, not even my brother.

She has a long history of this kinda thing, but I thought she had grown up enough to be in the loop. Apparently not, and now I am the d!ck for calling her on it. I was really POed about it because I have no use for her or her family who happen to be friends with my in-laws.

Oh well. I am over it, but it has put a strain on our relationship with my wife's brother and his wife. It is too bad, because things were better than they had been in a while. Then she does and flushes it down the tube. Did I mention that I am somehow the jerk in the whole thing?

Trust takes a long time to create, and only seconds to destroy.

Andrew

[JLB 0]

Believe me Andrew you are not the jerk in this situation. There is only one d!ck in all this and it's wearing a dress. Good for you for standing up and saying she's a d!ck. I bet if others get burned by her (and they will), they'll understand how it feels. I have a nasty SIL as well and my family thinks she deserves more of my time and consideration (but they haven't been burned by her like I have) -- it's only a matter of time.

:flame: