I dont know what to do.

[Lovely Lady 46]

I know 2 friends who recently had lapband. I see them struggle with the food restrictions they have. I hear other people who think they are trying to help, tell them what to eat and not eat. I see them getting annoyed!

I am trying to find a way to be supportive. One lady had her surgery 3 weeks ago. I told her I want to be her support by eating what she does. I know it wont hurt me since I haven't had surgery yet, and it might add to my weight loss. She says she is ok with that, if I want to. I don't know what else I can do. Why cant other people butt out?

[marygreenjohnson 2]

Im sure the other people that are giving eating "advice" are trying to be as helpful as they think they can. Im sure it is very annoying for someone who has had WLS to get eating advice from people that have not actually gone through the procedure. Restrictions change with every doctors visit and its kinda something the individual has to learn to adjust to on their own. Everyone is different. I was told I would never be able to eat chicken again, but chicken is about the only meat I can eat.

My biggest support from people I knew that had the band already was just them answering my questions and calming my fears, and the support from non lap band friends was motivation, encouragement and exercise partners.

This is a very big step and its mentally and physically trying at times...maybe wanting people to butt out isnt the way to feel. Not everyone understands and you may just have to nod with those you dont want opinions from, but at least they care enough to "help". Good luck on your journey.

[lisacaron 5,075]

Sometimes it pays to not be so vocal with others about your surgery or what restrictions you have and/or don't have when eating and drinking. Just do what needs doing. Follow what your doctors orders are and keep a low profile about it.

If your making comments or visibly making a big deal about being on a "restricted" diet or not being able to tolerate certain foods then people are going to think that they can comment. If your a little bit more sedate and people still make comments politely tell them that while their good intentions are appreciated you need to work through this on your own with the support of your doctor and that is the only advice that you will be following.

This is what has worked for me.

Best of luck on your journey to you and your friend.

[B-52 7,113]

Other people are telling her what she should and should not do????

Bottom line...this is between you and your band....no 2 people are the same. Things that I eat, others find they cannot eat....and vice versa.

Example...I take about 8 pills every morning...4 of them liquid gell caps...I swallow all of them Whole, and don't have a single problem...other people say they have to crush their pills...

I drink carbonated beverages from time to time...others cannot.

I cannot eat red meat, rice, bread, Pasta, etc to name a few...others say they do not have any problems...

It's all about YOU and YOUR band....IMO the key to success is for people to get to know THEIR Bands, and learn to LISTEN to THEIR Bands, not other people's bands....

For me to know what your band is saying to you, or what you are experiencing, would be ridiculous!!!

Other to say some things I have, and am now experiencing, perhaps someone else may recognize as something they're experiencing....

I cannot tell other people what's causing their heartburn....

I Cannot tell other people why it hurts when they swallow...

I cannot tell other people what that lump in their throat is....

And I certainly cannot tell other people what they should or should not be eating....

I can ONLY share what me and my band can and cannot do...and that's it...

These other 2 people should do the same...share what they can and cannot eat, and explain why they are that way....

(Sorry, BIG Pet peeve of mine....Psuedo self proclaimed Experts that feel they need to express their authority over others to make themselves feel important...yet they have NEVER been there or done that !!!!)

Don't try to tell me what Paris is like in the Springtime if you have never been there yourself....

[Pittsburgher 261]

I agree completely. My sister is a twig and once asked if i was supposed to be eating something, i just looked at her. I do not think anyone can understand what the band is like unless they have a band, doesnt know how it feels to be overweight if they never been. Heck if i want a piece of cake i will have one!! Unless MY BAND says otherwise NO ONE else lol. I believe in moderation not depriving yourself to the point you go crazy and have a huge binge on everything. Its good to start changing eating habits now, but when your banded you are putting 100% into it

[B-52 7,113]

I agree completely. My sister is a twig and once asked if i was supposed to be eating something, i just looked at her. I do not think anyone can understand what the band is like unless they have a band, doesnt know how it feels to be overweight if they never been. Heck if i want a piece of cake i will have one!! Unless MY BAND says otherwise NO ONE else lol. I believe in moderation not depriving yourself to the point you go crazy and have a huge binge on everything. Its good to start changing eating habits now, but when your banded you are putting 100% into it

AMEN!!! It's a Lifestyle...new habits you carry with you for the rest of your life...day to day...not a constant struggle. Who wants to live like that? That's why I feel this has been the best decision ever!

[Bandista 7,466]

Hi there, how about going for walks with your friend. We all need exercise and it would be a nice way to support her.

[kcgal62 133]

Have you invited your friend to this forum? At least the advice here is coming from those who have been through it!

[Pittsburgher 261]

Have you invited your friend to this forum? At least the advice here is coming from those who have been through it!

I dont no where i'd be without this forum. I can come here for advice, recommendations, what not to do, etc. I like we are all dealing with this together but in our seperate lives. I feel like this is my place, my people lol.

[Lovely Lady 46]

I have told both of my friends about this support group. Neither of them seem interested in it. I don't know what I would do without the support I have received from here.

I wish they would join me for walks, but they don't want to go - so I go by myself. I agree, only my friends can decide for themselves what to eat and not eat. I wish I could find a better way to be supportive.