Too early for a relationship!

[_imgood_ 63]

I'm right days out and have been in contact with someone I have keep in friend status for two years. This person has made it clear that he wanted more but I just was not ready especially since I was just divorced. We keep in touch and texted and saw each other on occasion. Since my surgery day, day four he has come to see me everyday. The last couple days we have talked about life, love, relationship, and moving forward. My sex drive/hormones whatever you want to call it, are all over the place! I'm feeling things that I have not felt in years. I guess I'm asking do you all think it's too early to be in a relationship? Why am I so emotional? Is this normal to be all over the place? Advise please?

[bigsoutherngal 29]

I think that maybe you guys could continue being friends as you are changing. One of the problems you do have after a surgery like this (so I have been told by many) is that your emotions ARE all over the place! I am not saying do not have a relationship, but maybe tell him that you want to take it SLOW, maybe the pace of a snail slow. Tell him you are on a journey right now and if he wants you then maybe he can go down this journey with you. I wouldn't say get rid of him though either just because you are emotional. What you have to do is weight the pros and cons to not only him, but a relationship in general at this point. Your success strictly depends on you at this point, so do not make him a crutch to you feeling better about yourself. I guess what I am babbling about is to tell you is not to make him a your next addiction. If he loves you, he will wait for you.

[CoffeeGrinDR 148]

I hear you! The vets can give you good advice about making clear decisions and why your hormones are going nuts (the release of estrogen from fat cells coupled with the loss of our usual coping mechanisms). They helped me.

Here's where I landed on this decision: you don't need to wait to live but you do need to be true to yourself.

My problem is that I put other people first. Always. And this surgery is a big step toward living my life for me. Getting involved in a relationship right now (pre-op soon to be op) is too much for me to manage on top of all of these other major life changes. Not to mention that I still need time to heal from my last breakup.

I suppose if someone really cares about you they will honor and respect that. If you have strong feelings for this person (I have strong feelings about my person and was afraid of missing "the moment") then you have to trust that all in good time everything will work out.

I used to think timing was everything. Now I think we make our moments in life.

Good luck to you.

ps. Isn't it nice to like and to be liked by someone?!!

Edited December 16, 2013 by CoffeeGrinDR

[_imgood_ 63]

Thanks ladies! I'm due to see him in the morning once again. I feel so emotional around him. I need to do some soul searching. He does not know about my surgery. He knows I had surgery for hernia repair. But as far as my vsg....I keep that to myself. I'm not ready to tell many people yet or at all. Thanks again, yes that feeling feels good!

[CoffeeGrinDR 148]

I understand. I'm pre-op and feeling really emotional! I am not telling the object of my affection about surgery (i'm not really telling anyone except my mom and my therapist).

I want to lose 100lbs before I start dating again.

[is it just me 80]

I can say that after my surgery my emotions were everywhere..... I could cry at a drop of a dime......... But I'm thankful I have my boyfriend and have told him about my journey.... He has been so supportive.... In a way it's made a bond stronger.......... My opinion would be keep him around has friends and see where it goes...... As ur journey continues and he sticks around then maybe u can open up more then............. It seems like ur at a good place right now... Ur getting ur health better and dating is next for u.............

[_imgood_ 63]

I can say that after my surgery my emotions were everywhere..... I could cry at a drop of a dime......... But I'm thankful I have my boyfriend and have told him about my journey.... He has been so supportive.... In a way it's made a bond stronger.......... My opinion would be keep him around has friends and see where it goes...... As ur journey continues and he sticks around then maybe u can open up more then............. It seems like ur at a good place right now... Ur getting ur health better and dating is next for u.............

Thanks it thank you all