I give up (updates)

[nancy264 50]

I can't even do the pre diet. so Monday im telling my medical group. I give up and not going for it (gastro sleeve). I have posted on here a few times and you all been great and I be thinking I can do but then I eat something and cant stop. so I am done.

pre diet.

Br. shake w/protein, fruit or veggie

Sn. fruit/veggie/protein

Lu. shake w/protein, fruit or veggie

Sn. fruit/veggie/protein

Din. shake or a balance meal.

Before bed. snack

Ok, I do a shake in the am but when its time to eat and if I do eat, I can't stop, I get so upset and then that makes me eat more. Monday is group so im tell them im not going to do it, that I give up. I don't want to but I can't see myself sticking to the pre diet so how can I deal with the meals after the surgery.

[barefeet 73]

Nancy, I am sorry you feel this way. I am in day 2 of my pre op and it is hard, one of the hardest things I have done... But knowing it would be I have lots of little activities that I have to do and NONE involve food. I encourage you to take one last stab at it tomorrow, and then make your decision.

[Coachdk 72]

I struggled with the Pre Op, too...many of us do. I lost five pounds in two weeks. But, now that I'm post op (just four days) I have ZERO interest in eating. It isn't so much that I can't, it just isn't appealing. I say try your hardest on the pre op, be honest with the NUT and see what happens. Don't totally give up. And keeping active and away from family members eating stuff you really like does help. I remember a few days before surgery my husband asked me to go get him a burger and fries. So, burger and fry smell in the car on the way to where he was...and then he wasn't waiting for me...I had to go find him smelling the burger and fries. Proud to say I didn't sneak even one French fry, but boy did I want to!

[L-in-NJ 136]

It's better to quit now then have surgery and try to eat past your sleeve and risk serious complications. I remember reading another post where someone who was a nurse told the story of someone a week out of surgery eating a half chicken then dying from the complications. This is a serious lifestyle change and if you're not ready to commit then don't do it. I wish you all the best of luck in whatever journey you decide to take.

[Mid West 99]

Annoying isn't it, we have just the one brain and yet, it tears us in two (sometimes more) directions.

You want to lose weight, of course you do or you wouldn't have started down this road.

But you want to eat and the less you're allowed or supposed to eat, the more you want to eat until you feel like to want to run along supermarket aisles stuffing it all into your mouth.

Lol, ok, maybe that's a little dramatic but what I'm saying is that you should tell the part of your brain that says you you can't do something to STFU and go away It may have won the battle many times before and it would win again if you go into your group on Monday and tell them you're finished.

It's like a bully, ignore them (in this case those negative messages) often enough and eventually, they will go away.

Also, work on being nice to yourself. If you think you might be depressed, go get something to help, it won't hinder your operation in any way (just check with your particular surgeon but I've never heard of anti-depressants being a problem).

If you have issues with self esteem, try and do one nice thing for yourself each day. Give yourself one nice message, they will soon build up and drown the negative stuff out, I promise :-)

Good luck to you whatever you decide. Lx

[Kindle 8,667]

Sounds like you may have to work on some other things, first. Surgery should be the last step in a whole program addressing our eating disorders and emotions that go with it. Perhaps you should continue with therapy and get better prepared (mentally) for this surgery. Otherwise it just won't work and you will be miserable. Only do it when you are 100% ready.

[nancy264 50]

Also its so hard when I have to cook for others and can't eat any. I told my son and nephew that if I had the surgery everyone gonna eat what I buy for me and nothing different. And I make a list of things then I get in a bad mood again. oh well I guess I can't just do this, this is my fourth time trying and I given up in the past bc I would get scare of the surgery, but now its not the surgery its the can't stick to the pre diet.

[abetterme4.2 268]

Hi nancy,

Definitely take a moment or two and figure out what you are attempting to (re)solve with the surgery. It's not for everyone.

The pre-op does suck, it really does. But, hey, it all boils down to "how bad do you want it?" That was my mantra, and still is. I asked myself that question every day, more than once. When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, only then will you be successful.

Trust me, the appetite for food really does go away and for some, it does come back. But initially, with your body trying to heal, you really will not feel famished or faint if you don't get a bite to eat.

You may have more pressing issues and are not mentally prepared for this journey. If quitting is simple for you, then you really are not ready. It is hard. It is not a cure-all. Our mind has to be in the right place.

I know it's hard. I have 4 kids (5 if you count my spouse)in my home and I prepare the meals, self-employed, and it is hard. Especially preparing the meals.

BUT, I will say this: 132 lbs gone and I am a better version of me.

Good luck on your journey and the decision you make that is best for yourself.

[No game 14,437]

When I first started reading I was going to say girl just do it! Come on quit throwing up the excuses and get it done!

But the more I read, I realized you do sound like you know what your doing in feeling this is not the right time for you. Just because we are all fat doesn't make this surgery the right move for everyone...

It still takes willpower and a tremendous amount of dedication after the surgery not just in the months to follow but the years.. This is a tool to help and only a tool.

It sounds like you've backed out before.

Is this not just a pre op diet issue but fear?

I commend you for realizing it's not the right time for you.

It's better to say no now than coming out the other end with regrets...

[PGee 318]

If you haven't done so already, you may want to meet with someone who specializes in addictions/food issues.....to get to the heart of the matter of why you aren't sticking to the preop diet-----because that will follow you no matter if you have surgery or not (at least that's true for me)

Good for you for putting a hold on it if you are not ready.....some people get to this point, change their mind, and later on revisit WLS again.

Having surgery was the most difficult decision for me to make--I struggled with it, drove my husband crazy......but it was the best decision I made (it isn't perfect, but I wouldn't change it for the world)....Whatever you decide, wishing you the best of luck

[LuminousLife 145]

Maybe postpone is a better word. Work on what you need to and revisit this later. I wasn't ready the first time (about 5 years ago).

[nancy264 50]

On Monday I will tlk about this in group. right now I feel I can do this but then ill feel I can't yes im getting scare bc I have only four pounds to lose before surgery date can be plan.

im just scare most of all. am afraid of the pain ima b in. Ok, tomorrow is a new day.

thanks for responding.

[L-in-NJ 136]

On Monday I will tlk about this in group. right now I feel I can do this but then ill feel I can't yes im getting scare bc I have only four pounds to lose before surgery date can be plan. im just scare most of all. am afraid of the pain ima b in. Ok, tomorrow is a new day. thanks for responding.

The pain isn't as bad as you think. Of course everyone has different experiences but you can check with the surgeon and hospital to find out their pain management system. I am 11 days post op and I don't have any pain at this point. I stop taking pain meds the next day. I can sleep on my stomach and side again. I'm still cautious with my activity but no pain. Don't let fear stop you from doing what you know will give you the opportunity to live a better, healthier lifestyle.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7

[LouiseC 1,031]

I agree with other posters. It is not an easy journey and if you are not mentally ready for it, and in the place to really commit, it is going to be a hard road. Well done on recognising that this may not be the path for you and that you may have some work to do before being ready for WLS. I wish you all the best and hope you can find the inner resources needed to help you achieve health and well being.

[twinmommy2014 7]

Nancy: Only you can make this decision. I am waitlisted for bariatric surgery. I had a previous failed lapband removed 4 yrs ago. It slipped despite me following everything as directed I am nervous now about choosing either the sleeve or gastric bypass due to the previous failure. I don't want to spend months throwing up like last time. My weight is my nemesis. I have achieved all my life goals except for this one. Change is HARD, SCARY, and it is easier to stay the same. You need to believe in yourself, look at why you made the decision to have surgery in the first place and commit to making changes. food will always be there, how you deal with it is up to you.