So mad that I can't see straight...

myfoursons · March 17, 2007

I feel it is common for people to say how they see things while sitting back and excluding themselves. I mean, he could have said, "It's an all white church besides us." But, I think that is a given that he wouldn't have to clarify.

Also, since he is new to the area, he may not consider himself a member. So, he tries out the church and finds his family is the only black family. He is still going to see it as an all white church.

Just like I attended AME when I was a kid. I was the only white child. There was one interaccial couple, but I still saw it as an all black church.

Boo Boo Kitty · March 17, 2007

Ok, here is my two sense, and the future therapist in me!

I understand why you and your husband were upset by his comment. I think that if you feel the need to confront him, there are ways that you can do it without being rude or cruel. You said he was new, so he would not know the history of the other churches. Explain to him that was the intent of the question with open, honest communication. There is no need to defend the fact you are not a racist, it is not the issue.

MarySue33 · March 18, 2007

Actually, if you would have read my posts more thoroughly you would see that I am not from the south. I am from Kansas. I stated that his familyhad just moved here from Alabama.

Oops...my mistake. Sorry about that.

myfoursons · March 18, 2007

Right after my original post, I thought I had posted an update. I just realized that it isn't there. I was getting upset because people kept saying "let it go". My update post basically said that his comment was probably based off past experience and I was going to leave it at that.

I realize that I do not know his past experiences and he does not know mine. He doesn't know that I attended an AME (all black church) growing up and would be ecstatic if someone invited my child to attend a church that was anything like the one I did when I was a kid.

After awhile, I realized that I really wasn't mad, but mostly hurt by the comment. I just don't want anyone thinking that way about my family because I have done everything to make sure my kids are the opposite of that.

Luckily we live in an extremely diverse town that also has a University. My children are used to seeing people of all kinds. The town sees so many different types of people, it would be hard for me to believe that color would cause people to give a second look. Now, the guy in town that is 6'5" and walks aroud downtown with a bikini and high heels on, holding a steering wheel pretending he is driving down the sidewalk. He gets stared at quite a bit.

Hopefully, my husband's boss will get an experience of acceptance here.