Terrible Guilt

[GotItDoneInHarlem 302]

Having some really weird guilt issues.

My parents have made it clear that they support me, but wish I wasn't going to be sleeved next week.

They called tonight and offered me $10,000 to put towards a diet food delivery service or a personal trainer.

I'm having trouble wrapping my head around what I'm feeling. I told my mom it was a very sweet and thoughtful offer, but that I've tried those things before and I need a more permanent solution as a tool for weight loss.

I know they're scared and I haven't done a great job of educating them about the sleeve, but I feel terrible that they want to "offer me more options" with a tremendous amount of money that they most certainly do not have.

Thoughts?

[MsK1972 112]

Educate them, I had surgery 10/30. I'm doing fine, I'm 26 pounds down and I wouldn't change a thing. My BMI was only 35.7 so I think I'm losing slow got that reason but other than that I'm great! If they realize that it's not as risky as Gastric Bypass and how technology has improved the procedures I think they will be ok. I chose to tell nobody but my best friend because I knew my family would be the same way. But if you want this, don't feel guilty and don't let anyone else's feeling ls change your mind. You have to live with this not anyone else. Good luck and God Bless!!

[CoffeeGrinDR 148]

I won't say I know how you feel (because who can) but I will say I understand feeling the desire to please and having your confidence shaken by going against what those who love you want for you.

I'm sure it is because they are scared and think that somehow their actions are protective. It comes from a place of love.

But so does your action to get the VSG. You've done the work, you have gone through so much. This is for you and it is ok to do what is healthy for you.

And they love you and will keep loving you and they will be there to Celebrate your victories on the other side.

My thoughts are with you.

[sleevethefatbehind 95]

Sounds to me like they aren't fully supporting you if they are bribing you not to do it. I'd tell them no thank you, and please no more bribes. If it's not supportive of YOUR decision, then they need not offer alternatives.

[NMJG 1,266]

Hey, I really sympathize. Perhaps if you could educate them more on VSG, take them to a seminar at your clinic or show them one of the youtube videos by various bariatric surgeons. Best of luck with a difficult situation. They obviously love you very much and just want what is best for you. You need to show them why this is the best thing for you and how you made your decision.

[Seela 1,187]

I agree with (most) of the above. Educate them. Direct them here. Tell them you love them and that's why your doing this. At the end of the day your the only one that can live with this decision. Good luck to you.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

HarlemLoser

I don't think they are trying to bribe you

sounds like they are scared that you might have complications or even die

they are worried about and for you

I've heard other spouses report similar things about family/friends being very concerned a problem might occur during surgery

they are just worried for/about you, and scared

offering you money to get special food/trainer - (new one for me) is again just showing their concern, wanting you to do anything to lose weight, but concerned about surgery

maybe show them this board/posts - good stuff (no vomitting or farting issues )

you said they are supportive - thats great

post surgery i believe they will be their and help you

please don't second guess yourself about surgery next week

you made the wise decision to do the sleeve cuz you know you've tried everything else

the sleeve will help you lose weight, but its no easy ride

you have to work with the sleeve - and it will work with/for you

good luck next week

speedy recovery

kathy

Edited December 11, 2013 by proudgrammy

[GotItDoneInHarlem 302]

Thanks proudgrammy. Your response really clicked for me and helped.