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Depression...and I Don't Know Why!



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So I'm in the Options program with Kaiser and I'm just over a month into the six months of classes that they require of you in San Diego. I thought that by the time I was starting the class that I would be super focused on weight loss and going strong towards the 10% weight loss that Kaiser requires before having surgery. I even bought a fitbit to track my calories, but I returned it because I was doing better tracking everything through the site I was using in the first place. I know that I still have tons of time to lose that, but I don't know why the classes are so discouraging. I thought I would be getting good info on how to prep for surgery and what to expect after (I'm sure they will get to some of that at some point) but over a month in and I don't feel like I'm getting anything from the classes, so I'm just not amped about weight loss. Some of the people are in fact driving me nuts!! How can you say that you have tried EVERYTHING to lose weight but you don't realize that you can't eat grits with butter and bacon every morning and still lose weight?!?! Really!!

So I'm letting it effect me in a negative way. I've definitely got that "I need to eat this while i still can" mentality and I've actually gained weight. I guess Im kinda just venting and looking for advice. I know what I need to do, It just seems that I can't get it started and the weight gain I've had in the past weeks is making me feel worse. Thanks for any thoughts!!

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Hi,

I can completely relate with what you are saying. I just recently completed my 6 month requirement and now I am waiting for approval. During the 6 month process I was excited. Then I started getting really nervous. I started questioning if I would even get approved and if I would even have the surgery. Then I started telling myself why am I doing all of this if they say no? I was completely discouraged. The weigh-in's didn't help my mental state. I was still thinking negatively. I am STILL waiting on an approval and it's driving me NUTS! They say I should hear in 5 days, BUT it can take anywhere up to 45 if they have "questions". I think as you find your stride you will stick with it. It's better to do it slowly rather than just jumping into it. I have gone through 4-5 different Protein shakes until I found one that I actually like drinking. My food intake has decreased (but I am still not losing weight). It's sooo frustrating! It will happen, you will do it. Good luck to you and enjoy your "mini" achievements first. It will help you in the long run.

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Thank you for the response.....I think my real struggle is that I'm trying to change habits right now and as I'm changing the habits, my weight is going up. I'm trying to eat smaller more often meals and the biggest one...Stop drinking Monster energy drinks. I was drinking 2-3 a day and it was my low calorie vice that is a big no no after surgery. I've been substituting them with crystal light and massive amounts of Water and I'm trying to get on board with Green Tea but I just don't really like the flavor of tea!! It sounds crazy, but I think when I was drinking so many of those a day, I was less hungry.

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Sometimes the stress can add to your weight gain. I was told I had to give up my lemonade and almost fell out of my chair. I haven't switched to the crystal light yet (it's been six months). Maybe you can try limiting to 1-2 a day for a while and slowly wean off of them? Believe me I know it's hard giving up some of the things you have become comfortable with (for years). Don't get discouraged, it will happen. Now when I look in the mirror I tell myself "I'm done looking like this". I made Cookies for us yesterday and I threw them away. YES, threw them away. I have NEVER done that. Mentally I am just DONE with being big. I was nowhere near this state month’s back. I was not motivated and I was discouraged. Just take it day by day and try to find something new that helps curb your hunger. Good luck to you!

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I know this is tough, but i think it is a really good time to examine your beliefs about weight loss surgery and what your life will be like after. Mine has evolved over the last few years and I am happy with where i have landed in terms of my relationship with food, fitness and my body.

There is no reason to "eat while you can" because you CAN still eat later. Sure, those first few months are tough, but that is a temporary state. Over the long haul (I am two years out) I eat normal food just alot less of it. I also have a much lower "food drive" - meaning not so focused on consuming it. I feel it as a sense of relief actually.

I can relate to your state of mind, I think pre-op I was pretty dang discouraged/hopeless at times. I luckily didn't have to survive a long preparation diet... I just tortured myself from the comfort of my own home. :) I was a professional dieter preop, I could just never maintain/sustain a prolonged period of time without overeating. I genuinely believe that much of that was the physical drive for food was just so strong... the sleeve really helps with that.

Most of us go through a very low appetite/hard to eat much/food is uninteresting phase in the months after surgery. In some ways, that was a bit of a sad time for me, i was still fat, couldn't enjoy my old friend (eating) and yet hadn't really found new outlets yet. However, I feel like I took advantage of that time to sort of get over my dependance on food. It occasionally rears its head, but overall, food is no longer my comfort/friend like I used to use it. I now have basically a different life that I like alot better even though same old (non food or weight related) challenges are still there!

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