Coping With Christmas

[fatgirlslim14 23]

Dear sleevers, I thought of starting this new thread and please let me know if its already somewhere here on the forum. I got sleeved in Sept this year and though things have been fantastic the festival season is bringing its own challenges. Workplace is now filled with chocolates, Cookies and mince pies. There are are at least 3-4 parties each of us has to attend till the 25 th and that adds more pressure. As most of us have struggled with saying no to food all our life i wondered if we could make this thread as a bank of information with techniques we can use to distract ourselves from food, deal with the stress, and keep on top of our sleeve. I would really appreciate any positive suggestions to be on the right track , especially from the veterans. Thanks.

[LisaDM 194]

Personally I am not going to totally shut myself off front the holiday food. I am certainly going to be careful and still focus on eating healthy and focus on Protein, but I will allow myself to have a cookie or piece of chocolate every now and then. My problem was always that I would eat many Cookies and candies. Now I find that I am ok having just one. I don't want my sleeved life to be miserable. And missing out on everything forever would make me miserable. I will let my sleeve help me to learn moderation.

[PdxMan 4,292]

The holidays should be a joyous time for all. Just because we are no longer able to abuse food the way we use to shouldn't exclude us from participating. I am going into my third holiday season as a sleever and here is what I have done:

1. Participate like you have 100% of your stomach. As crazy as this may sound, it is true. At our office party, which has a ton of food and sweets, I grab a plate of food and I walk around with it nibbling here and there. By no means do I finish the plate, but I appear to be participating. Oh, and I grab the high Protein stuff. (and maybe one cookie)
2. Bring what you brought previously. I am known for my english toffee. I make dozens of batches each year, hand out bags to my co-workers and set a huge plate of it for the office party. That hasn't changed. I just don't indulge in eating the toffee the way I used to. I know the dark path that leads me, so, I just don't do it. Everybody gets their toffee fix and I get my ego boost for all the toffee adulation.
3. Carry a drink around. I don't indulge in alcoholic beverages though I think everybody else except for one person at my office does. I usually hang pretty close to them, but I do grab sparkling apple cider. Now, it is bubbly which my tummy doesn't handle very well, so I will have that glass pretty much the whole time. But, you find what works for you. Apple juice would be great option.
4. Engage. If you act like you are a fish out of Water then you ARE a fish out of Water. You don't have to over indulge in drink and food to have a good time no matter what you may have thought in the past. You can laugh and chat and have a good time without going overboard. After all, everybody else is going to be drunk so they will laugh at all your stories ... right?

If you find yourself struggling, then you need to know there are other issues with your relationship with food. If you feel you need food to Celebrate and are mourning not being able to abuse food the way you used to, then I have good news for you. You are starting to confront some of the demons in your closet as to why you were morbidly obese to begin with. This is an opportunity for you to begin doing the work to have healthier coping mechanisms.

So, go out there and enjoy your holidays, gosh darn it!

Edited December 9, 2013 by PdxMan

[fatgirlslim14 23]

The holidays should be a joyous time for all. Just because we are no longer able to abuse food the way we use to shouldn't exclude us from participating. I am going into my third holiday season as a sleever and here is what I have done:

Participate like you have 100% of your stomach. As crazy as this may sound, it is true. At our office party, which has a ton of food and sweets, I grab a plate of food and I walk around with it nibbling here and there. By no means do I finish the plate, but I appear to be participating. Oh, and I grab the high Protein stuff. (and maybe one cookie)

Bring what you brought previously. I am known for my english toffee. I make dozens of batches each year, hand out bags to my co-workers and set a huge plate of it for the office party. That hasn't changed. I just don't indulge in eating the toffee the way I used to. I know the dark path that leads me, so, I just don't do it. Everybody gets their toffee fix and I get my ego boost for all the toffee adulation.

Carry a drink around. I don't indulge in alcoholic beverages though I think everybody else except for one person at my office does. I usually hang pretty close to them, but I do grab sparkling apple cider. Now, it is bubbly which my tummy doesn't handle very well, so I will have that glass pretty much the whole time. But, you find what works for you. Apple juice would be great option.

Engage. If you act like you are a fish out of Water then you ARE a fish out of Water. You don't have to over indulge in drink and food to have a good time no matter what you may have thought in the past. You can laugh and chat and have a good time without going overboard. After all, everybody else is going to be drunk so they will laugh at all your stories ... right?

If you find yourself struggling, then you need to know there are other issues with your relationship with food. If you feel you need food to Celebrate and are mourning not being able to abuse food the way you used to, then I have good news for you. You are starting to confront some of the demons in your closet as to why you were morbidly obese to begin with. This is an opportunity for you to begin doing the work to have healthier coping mechanisms.

So, go out there and enjoy your holidays, gosh darn it!

Thank you, I am recently sleeved and that makes me anxious about slipping. What you have said does make sense. Cheers!

[marfar7 1,533]

I made a decision in Oct. I'm not gunna focus on losing until after the holidays (Jan 2nd). I've stayed the same weight for the last 8 weeks. I can maintain fairly easily eating whatever I want, so that's good news. I know I'll have to make some changes after the holidays if I want to lose the last 22 lbs (those are the hardest, btw).

I bake gingerbread, oat and caramel bars, and white fudge during the holidays. My FIL makes his famous prime rib, potatoes, veggie, and roll for Christmas dinner. I'm making the Desserts this year (cocunut pies and pumpkin cheesecake) for about 20 people. I plan on partaking in everything, just in really small amts (and I mean REALLY small amts - like 2 bites of each thing).

Thats my holiday plan. Not to stress about it but to enjoy my holidays! Good luck to u! I'm sure you'll get some good answers...

[Jenny Beaton 1]

Before you go fill your self up. You won't even want anything. It's not bad to have a cookie or chocolate but if you have the frame if mind that it's ok b/c it's the holidays you will always have that frame of mind. There is always an excuse to eat bad. That's what go me to the weight I was. I always have a drink with me when there is lots of food around that way I feel like in still having something.

[fatgirlslim14 23]

Thank you all for your replies.

[E2013 31]

Good luck to you. I think you've been given great suggestions.

I am pre-op and on Clear liquids. Having surgery 12/19. So every Christmas party for me will be filled with Protein shakes.

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

These are great tips. I'm almost 7 weeks out and went to a party Saturday. I had a glass of wine while I thought hard about what I could eat, and then I filled a small plate and took my time eating some of it. Like PDXMan says, it feels good to fit in and no one questioned me, even the people who knew about the surgery.

When I got home and added up all my choices I was right on track. I know that won't happen every time, but it was good and empowering. It can be done.

[LisaDM 194]

These are great tips. I'm almost 7 weeks out and went to a party Saturday. I had a glass of wine while I thought hard about what I could eat, and then I filled a small plate and took my time eating some of it. Like PDXMan says, it feels good to fit in and no one questioned me, even the people who knew about the surgery. When I got home and added up all my choices I was right on track. I know that won't happen every time, but it was good and empowering. It can be done.

How did you handle the wine? I am 9 weeks out and haven't had any alcohol yet. I was originally going to wait six months, but I think that is excessive. I was thinking abou having a glass of wine on Xmas or New Years.

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

It doesn't seem to affect me in a bad way. I was cleared at my 6 week appointment and I don't intend for it to be an every day thing. Tracking makes me hyper aware that it's a waste of calories, and the urge to overindulge is just not there. But I get that this is highly individual.

[Arts137 1,811]

I waited 6 months for wine, and it was OK.

I will remain fairly strict during the holidays and focus on the family and the love rather than the food. That's just me!

[scarlet333 386]

Some great suggestions and advice already given. Even though we are focusing on the upcoming holidays this advice is applicable all year round. After New Years for me there is my birthday and valentines day in Feb, St patricks day, easter, mothers day, fathers day, 4th of July, summer bbqs etc... My point is if we make excuses that it is a special time so we should indulge there always seems to be something else coming up. A way of life means learning to cope with these situations. I think having a little bit of what you want after getting in your Protein requirements if you feel it will not send you into a tail spin is the way to go. Good luck to all and remember the holidays is also about socializing with people and not focus too much on the food.

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

Right! And there is so much more to this around socialization, habit, whatever. I had yet another reception last night and ate 3 shrimp from a shrimp cocktail, came home and thought, "What should I have for dinner?" And had to have a talk with myself…after tracking there were no calories left for anything else. And three shrimp are about 3 oz anyway: aka dinner. Then I realized that I really wasn't hungry either. So I shut it down for the day. I could have had a snack, sure, but I also thought that I didn't want to encourage the habit.

I think I'm getting it down and then little things pop up like this. It's like killing Medusa; there are always other snakes.

[piercedqt78 658]

This is my first holiday season with the sleeve but I have gone through 8 holiday seasons with the lap band. Before my lap band I would have a plate of dinner foods, and then a plate of dessert foods, plus whatever I picked at on the appetizer table along the way. And whatever my daughter would take and decide she either didn't like, or was too full to eat would end up on my plate. A holiday party could easily be 3000 calories in just food, not counting any mixed drinks I may have had. Now I will have a bite or 2 from the snack table (usually cheese, or meat and cheese roll-up type things. And then a bite or 2 of the things that look good and seem like the best options to me (again meat, cheese, veggies) and then if I have room I will have a single cookie, or a 1/4 slice of pie and I if I drink at all it's a vodka cranberry 80% cranberry 10% vodka and 10% Water. (no one wants to have to carry me home lol) so in all I might take in 600-800 calories. And I don't think it's a problem to go over my calories once in a while. I have said it many many times, I didn't get sleeved to give up everything that tastes good, or to give up my holiday traditions. I will gladly modify what I eat, but I will not be miserable and end up resenting my choice, or those around me for being able to have a good time, and eat what they want. I don't use the holidays or "special occasions" to "cheat" or over indulge. I eat what I want, in moderation, and I have not only hit my goal, but I am actually under my goal by 5 pounds, and I'm still losing. I don't do fitday, or mfp, I decided to relearn how to eat, and that is what I did. I make good choices, eat only when I am hungry, and drinking plenty of fluids, and my primary doctor, surgeon and most importantly I am happy with my progress.

I'm not saying eat whatever you want, and just throw good judgement out the window, I am saying look over your options, and make a healthy choice, eat only until you are satisfied, and then stop. This works just as well at holiday parties, as it does at the family dinner table. If I know it's only finger food and dessert I will eat before going, but I eat a few hours before, so I can still partake in the treats, but that's not my primary source of nutrients for the day. I also made my recipes just like I have done for years, I didn't try to reduce the calories, fat or increase the Protein, and I had a small bite of the ones that are favorites of mine, and was happy that I was able to have a normal, albeit small Thanksgiving meal. I will do the same for Christmas, and New Years.