Feel like a bulimic...could use some help

[Miper70 0]

This is a really long story, but i will try to make it short.

My Mom went in the hospital and died back in Dec. My Dad lives next door to me and I have totally had to take him under my wing. Let's just say the stress has been tremendous. Back in (I think) Jan. I wasn't too tight, but the stress would cause me to get really tight and PB all the time. I knew it was a bad thing, but it kept happening. I had a slight fill done about a month ago because I haven't lost any weight recently. I still find myself throwing up if I get the slightest pressure because it's so easy to do and makes me feel better instantly. I KNOW it's wrong, and I know I can make my band slip, but for some reason I keep doing it. I will eat too fast or drink something too soon and up it comes. I finally came to terms with the fact that this is an awful lot like what bulimics do. I am scared. I go for a barium swallow to make sure everything is ok in a few weeks, but I need a good kick in the butt. Please don't make me feel any worse than I already do, but any advice would be appreciated. It took alot to come here and admit this.

Michele

[marys 2]

Hi Michele - Hey I was banded just a few months after you - Ortiz is great, isn't he? You have had a tough time - I really feel for you. I am fortunate to have both my parents but took care of one/both of them for some time in the past and I truly appreciate the stress/depression you describe. It is so hard!!!

You are smart to be concerned about your band - you've come a long way with your weight loss etc. and I know you don't want to lose that. You've kept your weight stable under all this stress so that is something to be proud of!!

You know the throwing up is bad - I've done it too as I guess we 'learn' to get it up and not 'suffer' like in the early days of banding. But you do admit it has become a problem and you are doing it very often. THAT IS GOOD - you know you need help and that is always the first/best step so good for you.

Is this something you can change on your own - making slow steps - taking it one meal at a time? If not, you need to seek a counselor/clergy local lapband doc (maybe a local support group) that will help you beat this. I took anti anxiety meds for awhile and that can help with stress too.

We all have bad habits that may take the rest of our life to 'cure' and we have to have the strength to seek out help outside ourselves when needed - You seem to need that now - please look for someone who can help you face to face - with your dad and for yourself. You are obviously pretty darn strong to do all you do now and to get where you are so harness that strength to help yourself - Also, after the barium, maybe take your fill out - until you can get some extra help - you can always get more in later. Take care!!!

[Miper70 0]

Thank you for writing....you said the words I think I needed to hear. Maybe I do need to talk to someone. This has just been so hard and I feel so stressed. I feel like I never have a minute for just me.

In my brain, I do try to take it one meal at a time and I do good for a while then it's back to eating too fast or too big of bites and off I go again. I was doing so good with all the bandster rules up until a short time ago and now I can't seem to get myself back on track. I tried to talk to my fill surgeon, but he didn't seem to grasp hte enormity of it. I think when I go back I will try harder to make him understand how big this is. At least he was willing to check it out for me though. I will feel better when I know all is well. I just hope I haven't hurt myself or maybe it will show up later.

[Miper70 0]

Oh and yes, I love Dr. Ortiz. Even to this day if I have a problem, I just call or write and he's right there for me.

[marys 2]

Hi again Michele - I'm glad you will try your surgeon again but also don't stop there - I've found surgeons to be wondeful at what they do - surgery - but not always bedside manner and/or ability to spend time listening. Even short term counseling with a social worker or even grad student is affordable and can help. But I was writing cuz I thought of something else - there is a woman Sandy who is active on the Utah bandster and some other sites - i think she works for Dr. Kuri - she has a site www.bandsterme.com and she has tapes specifically for bandsters - she has a lapband and has kept her weight off for like 3 years or something...I think she also 'counsel's bandsters via email but i'm not sure of that. Also, I've gotten tapes fro innertalk.com and i like those a lot too (these are all subliminal type of tapes).

And - I'm glad to hear you are able to follow the "rules' sometimes - hey we all slip and that also shows you can do it - it's that damn consistency that kills us.

Keep writing to us at this site - everyone here has helped me a lot too - we all need each other - esp in the dark days. I'll be thinking of you!!!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Mary...

Those CDs that Sandy sells are not good. I know a few people who have purchased them and they all feel they blew money needlessly.

Sandy makes lots of claims, you kinda have to take what she says with a grain of salt.

[socalgal3 4]

I know you don't need anyone to come down on you, but I recently went through a slip and please avoid eating too fast and PBing, because a rebanding surgery is no fun! I agree that counseling is in order. If not, just really take some pamper time-bubble bath, massage, pedicure, read a book on the porch with some lemonade-whatever it takes! Best of luck to you.

[marys 2]

Thanks for commenting on Sandy's tapes bubble butt - I haven't tried them personally so don't know. I do like innertalk tapes and really like their site - they seem very professional and as 'scientific' as I guess one can get when you are talking subliminal tapes!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Thanks for commenting on Sandy's tapes bubble butt - I haven't tried them personally so don't know. I do like innertalk tapes and really like their site - they seem very professional and as 'scientific' as I guess one can get when you are talking subliminal tapes!

Well, she also claims to be a band practitioner but according to the State Licensing Authority in her state, there is no such thing. If she is licensed as a nurse it is not under the name she gives out to everyone although she also claims to be a nurse practitioner. She does lead people to believe she works with/for Dr. Kuri but if you call his office, they have vastly different opinions on the topic.

[Betsyjane 2]

I take care of my 90 year old mother, and no matter how much I love her, it is stressful. Under stress I eat wrong and PB. I have found that I have to make eating sacred and prayerful. Before I eat, I have to sit up straight, with the TV off, and take two very deep breaths. Then I have to eat slowly and mindfully, cherishing the time as the only private time I sometimes get with just me..... I need to be in a focused trance....different than the trance I used to go in to eat nonstop binging and grazing. Soemday, I may be able to eat more automatically, but I kind of hope not. I like the time getting centered.

[Bensmum1109 0]

I have been going through the same thing, and isn't it ironic that even when you are throwing up all the time you don't lose weight??? I got really tight fromflying and stress a month ago, and have lost 2 pounds. Since my last adjustment in December up until a month ago, I lost 8 pounds.

I have been under a lot of stress lately due to work. I am in the mortgage industry, which can be very lucrative but all you have to do right now is turn on the news and you will hear about how lenders are shutting down and investors aren't buying. When you are the sole source of income for your family it's scary and stressful, because we don't know how long this slump will last.

I simply got sick of PBing and went in yesterday for an unfill to .5CCs. I still have restriction, but I can get some food down.

Anyway, don't be discouraged, get a slight unfill so you can be comfortable until the stress eases a little.

And if you PB and see anything tar-like or bloody, call your surgeon IMMEDIATELY.That could indicate a slip or torn esophagus. Luckily that did not happen to me, but it could have!!

[Miper70 0]

Well, I hate to say this, but it's good to know I'm not alone. I went all day yesterday without a PB....of course I had Soup for lunch and dinner. I made up my mind to really, really watch what I do and try to relax more. I put myself in God's hands. I am serioudly considering taking all of the fill out until I get better control again. I will wait until the barium swallow coming up and see what it says then talk to my fill surgeon about it.

Thanks everyone!

[nerdpunk 0]

i am suffering with the same thing, i seriously pb (not throw up because it's just slime) at least twice a day, i hate it and it sucks, and sometimes i have difficulty with liquids, coffee was coming up the other day, i haven't had a fill in months, but due to the stress i'mmunder i guess an unfill would be wise, i also have a sore throat, i'm not sure if this is because of pb'ing or cuz i'm sick...

i seem to have the best luck eating in the night

reyna

glad i had a place to vent

[HeatherGurl 0]

A lot of people go thru the things you are talking about but do not have the courage to ask for help.

If you are PBing daily, then I suggest going on warm liquids and re-evaluating your situation.

I, myself, struggled with these issues right before the New Year. I couldn't get my head in the game and I needed help... I went for a slight unfill and let my poor body rest. I did gain a little weight, but my head was not where it needed to be then.

You are doing a great job admitting that something isn't right. I hope you can find some help and get this worked out before you do damage to your band.

If you are too tight, it will hurt your band AND you won't lose the weight.

Good luck to you!!!

[LapBandit 5]

You're doing the best you can. Stress really, really changes my restriction. When I'm stressed I can feel really tight so the same is probably happening to you. I know it's hard but maybe you can find something that helps you unwind a bit then try eating afterwards. My mom is taking care of my grandma and I know its so hard on her so I can understand the strain you're under. But, you've got to take care of yourself too. Good luck and let us know how it's going.