To Tell Or Not To Tell?

[Emmy72 6]

I'm still on the fence about telling people I work with, they all gossip & love to give there opinions when not asked. Not sure what to say when I have to take off for the extended amount of time & they see me losing weight. Any suggestions?

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

You may find this thread useful.

For ideas and opinions and the like.

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/266709-wls-cover-up-story/?hl=telling%20people

[Comfy_Blue 285]

At this point in my life, I'm not planning to tell anyone except for those I've already told (my parents, husband and bff who had WLS and confided in me a few years ago) because people will think what I thought "It's an easy way out and now that you've had the surgery you can just eat whatever you want, just in smaller portions, and stay skinny". I don't want to hear anyone's negative opinion and I'm already mentally preparing myself that while most people will likely be happy for me, some others who will be angry/jealous/nasty to me about my weight lost.

[McButterpants 2,846]

Wow - This is such a personal subject - be prepared to get answers that run the spectrum. Lots of people feel very passionately about what they are doing.

I told 5 people...My husband, my son, my parents and best friend. That's it.

Someday I may end up telling others, but not right now. I'm a very private person and I live in a small community. I've heard how people in my social circle (I wouldn't necessarily call them my friends, but people I have to deal with) talk about others behind their backs. I just didn't have the energy to deal with people who have nothing better to do than chew the fat about what is going on in my life.

Do what's right for you and what you're comfortable with. Good luck!!!!

[sashill 18]

I only told those I had to. As far as taking off work, it was just PTO, I didn't tell anyone why I was taking it. And as far as losing the weight...I tell them I'm eating healthier and less...both true. :-)

[FitnFabfor2014 358]

I'm still on the fence about telling people I work with, they all gossip & love to give there opinions when not asked. Not sure what to say when I have to take off for the extended amount of time & they see me losing weight. Any suggestions?

I haven't told anyone at all. I just finished my six month requirement and Im waiting for approval. When/If I do get approved I will only tell one person and that's because I need a ride home from the hospital. Why should I tell anyone? If I loose or gain my business, my body.

[L-in-NJ 136]

It's an individual choice that each person has to decide on based on their own personal preferences. As for me I'm an open book. I had my surgery 2 days ago and announced it to FB yesterday. The response and support has been phenomenal and I have inbox messages and texts from people who are considering the surgery or already had it. However that is my story and my choice in approaching the matter. It's what works for me. You should do what is best for you and if that means remaining private than so be it.

Edited December 6, 2013 by L-in-NJ

[Madicole! 3]

I really thought that I would be okay with telling everyone. I mean, I'm ashamed of being big, I shouldn't have to be ashamed because I'm trying to fix that, right? However, I had to tell my boss today and it was very emotional for me. She kept asking if I had thought about all of my options and asking me if I really thought I could go through with the surgery. I am now reconsidering how many times I really want to go through that.

[sashill 18]

I really thought that I would be okay with telling everyone. I mean, I'm ashamed of being big, I shouldn't have to be ashamed because I'm trying to fix that, right? However, I had to tell my boss today and it was very emotional for me. She kept asking if I had thought about all of my options and asking me if I really thought I could go through with the surgery. I am now reconsidering how many times I really want to go through that.

That's exactly why I've kept it to myself. People don't understand what it's like and how hard it is. The sleeve is a tool...and it's been a wonderful tool for me. Down almost 50 lbs in just under 2 months. Can't get that any other way that I know of. :-)

[notmeanymore 629]

I told some and didnt tell some. The people that I knew would be supportive I told, the judgemental gossip types I didnt. If they ask I just say I eat small meals several times a day, lots of Proteins, low carbs and hot yoga which is all true.

[Noor1969 150]

It's an individual choice that each person has to decide on based on their own personal preferences. As for me I'm an open book. I had my surgery 2 days ago and announced it to FB yesterday. The response and support has been phenomenal and I have inbox messages and texts from people who are considering the surgery or already had it. However that is my story and my choice in approaching the matter. It's what works for me. You should do what is best for you and if that means remaining private than so be it.

I'm an open book too. I'm really proud of myself for making this difficult decision and have no problem sharing it with anyone who wants to know. I just started working with a personal trainer at the Y and I told her what I was planning to do. Today I saw her and she introduced me to someone who was also having the surgery, so I made a friend there. I also feel that if I share my story with others it hopefully will educate people and even better, I hope that I can help someone else by sharing my experience. But I totally understand the desire to keep it private, especially where gossip is involved.

[is it just me 80]

I have told everyone...... I told them my doctor recommended this surgery to help with my other medical problems..... When they hear the doctor recommended it and not that I just wanted it.. It seems to stop a lot of the questions........... Good luck with ur choice

[Shells_Almost_There 357]

I only told a crucial few and it's been a good choice for me. At this point, those who know about the surgery watch everything I put in my mouth and ask "can you eat that?" and it drives me bonkers (mostly I'm talking about my mother who I wish I hadn't told, but it was impossible to avoid. She is the food police now. Yuck). Thank god I didn't tell anyone else, I'd have to quit my job AND move to another country. LOL but seriously, it's a very personal decision and people have varying reasons to tell or not to tell. I'm just a super private person and no one needs to know my personal medical business. Good luck with your choice!

[Texasmeg 568]

I've just told my close family, but had to tell my boss and some coworkers that I am going to be having surgery. I didn't say what the surgery was and so far no one has asked. My boss asked last week "Are you feeling ok"? I know he wanted me to tell him what the surgery was for, but I just said I was doing ok.

Everyone at work knows I have a herniated disk, so I think they are guessing that is it.

Of course, as a woman with a male boss, I've always thought I could mention female issues and he would drop the subject like a hot potato!

[sbarbiegirl 109]

I told everyone after I can back to work from the surgery. I has so much positive responses and questions from people interested in the surgery. Everyone obviously knew I was big so I didn't really care what they thought. I was only out for 1 week. I took vacation so no one thought anything. I even told them I went to Mexico. I felt so good after my surgery I just wanted to share it. It's a very personal choice and you have to do what is right for you. I've lost 70 pounds since my surgery on Sept 27, 2013. I'm not sure I would have had such a great support system if I would have kept it a secret.