Do I Really Want To Do This?

[tiredmama 137]

Went to my first info session last night and found out today my insurance would cover vsg 100%. Now it's really up to me- do I really want to do this? My BMI is just over 40- would it be better to try to lose the weight on my own? Will the sleeve be the tool that helps me maintain a major weight lost when in the past I have always regained every pound I lost with a few years? Will the sleeve help free me from my lifelong obsession with my weight or will it reinforce it? So overwhelmed!

[traciej1 0]

I am feeling the same anxiety you are. I have surgery In two weeks. Scared of complications and malnutrition. Any advise would help. I need to lose only 50-60 lbs. I really want to be healthy but scared of dying and leaving my kids.

[ekmw 56]

I'll share my experience, maybe it'll help you.

I'm twenty years old, and I've been working to get my VSG about a month before my 18th birthday. (My MD suggested surgery.) During that time, I tried many different things to try and lose weight traditionally. I also did many tests and blood work to make sure my body was healthy.

This year, I got my surgery and honestly... I don't regret it. I'm glad I got it done, because now I have a whole team to help me in my journey. I have a nutritionist who tries to come up with food ideas / suggestions. My surgeon is so wonderful and helpful. I rate him a full 10/10.

Now, I watch what I eat because I don't want to take in junk. In fact, most of my food cravings have completely disappeared. My eating has been for the better. Everyone in my house has been sick, and I've barely been sick due to my better eating and getting in my Vitamins.

If you're having doubts, maybe talk to a counselor about your feelings.

[Noor1969 150]

I haven't had the surgery yet but I see your BMI is the same as mine. I just spent thousands of dollars to see a diet doctor (I got the HCG injections) and have already gained back half of the 60 pounds I lost. I have tried more diets than I can possibly remember. I have heard on this board and other boards that 95% of people who try to lose weight through dieting alone eventually gain the weight back. The odds are stacked against us. I have come to the painful realization that no matter how hard I try or how much discipline or willpower I muster up, my appetite issues are going to set me up to fail. Right now, I see getting sleeved as my only hope. I don't think I can lose the weight on my own and that's something that you're going to have to really think about. I would encourage you to keep coming to this forum as I have--you will find 99.9 of your questions answered here.

A HUGE advantage you have is that your insurance covers the procedure at 100%. Heck, mine covers at 90% and I consider myself lucky! If your insurance will cover it, why not take advantage of it?

I will bow out here so that the folks who have already been sleeved can share their experiences with you. I this helps in some way, and I wish you the very best with whatever decision you make.

[southernsoul 773]

Went to my first info session last night and found out today my insurance would cover vsg 100%. Now it's really up to me- do I really want to do this? My BMI is just over 40- would it be better to try to lose the weight on my own? Will the sleeve be the tool that helps me maintain a major weight lost when in the past I have always regained every pound I lost with a few years? Will the sleeve help free me from my lifelong obsession with my weight or will it reinforce it? So overwhelmed!

Ultimately, you are the only person who can truly answer the question of whether or not you really want to do this. But to address your other questions...

Would it be better to try to lose the weight on my own? Well, define "better". Better in terms of being more successful? I'm assuming you've lost weight in the past, so how were your results? If you can lose it & keep it off & feel like you're not on a diet all the time, that's wonderful & it would then be a good choice. Better in terms of healthier? In my opinion, yo-yoing up & down is really very unhealthy & destroys our metabolism.

Will the sleeve be the tool that helps me maintain a major weight lost when in the past I have always regained every pound I lost with a few years? Maybe. The answer may depend on how willing you are to make the changes you will need to make. We're all different & we all stumble and/or struggle at different points or with different aspects of this process. Reducing the size of your stomach is not the only change you will need to make, far from it. Being sleeved makes it way easier to control portion sizes and minimize any bingeing behaviors, but it's definitely still possible to "eat around" the sleeve.

Will the sleeve help free me from my obsession with weight or reinforce it? That's really hard to say. You may still be very focused on the number on the scale, but you also may be happier with what you see. I weigh most days, but sometimes I forget. I never weighed before, except when I had to at the doctor or something. I pay much closer attention to my weight now, but I don't think it's in an unhealthy way. I've definitely heard some folks say they have to restrict themselves to weighing only once a week or so, just so they don't get too focused on it, so maybe that will be the way you are.

I'm not quite 6 months out yet, so I can't really speak to the long term. But this was definitely the best choice I could have made. I am still able to enjoy my food, but my portions are no longer out of control. I have the energy & the stamina to exercise regularly & make my body stronger. Seeing the weight come off & feeling the physical improvements has kept me motivated in a way that never happened before.

It's definitely a big decision & you are smart to really think it through. This forum is a great place to learn & ask & reflect on how you feel.

[cprince1975 62]

I struggled with many emotions for several years before I decided to have surgery. During that time, I once again tried dieting and was my usual, lose 20 gain 30. I'm very excited about surgery but it's def a life altering decision and one only you can make. I need to lose 115+ pounds. I am now ready but I waited until I was. Good luck no matter which path you choose.

[joatsaint 2,814]

I'm not going to tell you to do it or not. After all it is major surgery and people do have complications - no matter how much the media makes it sound like there's nothing to it. I make my major decisions by asking myself 2 questions:

1. Do I want to be in this situation or worse a year from now?

2. What am I willing to do about it?

I had to really hit rock bottom before I finally went through with VSG surgery. I'm the type that does not go to doctors - just slap some duct tape on it and cowboy up! But I could not lose the weight without help. Recovery was painful, but it has really given my life back to me.

Went to my first info session last night and found out today my insurance would cover vsg 100%. Now it's really up to me- do I really want to do this? My BMI is just over 40- would it be better to try to lose the weight on my own? Will the sleeve be the tool that helps me maintain a major weight lost when in the past I have always regained every pound I lost with a few years? Will the sleeve help free me from my lifelong obsession with my weight or will it reinforce it? So overwhelmed!

[Chelenka 827]

Tiredmama: it's normal what you are feeling and thinking. Having WLS is a HUGE decision. It is a permanent change to your body. I am 9 months post-op and have lost 90lbs so far. I have been obese for my whole life and done almost every diet known to man. My decision to have WLS was not an easy one but it has been the best decision I've ever made after marrying my husband. That being said the process, especially in the beginning, is not easy and like any major surgery carries significant risks. Make sure you get as much information as you can and research you surgeon carefully. If you feel overwhelmed you may need to get some therapy and really think things thru carefully before making a decision. The surgery is an amazing weight loss tool but it doesn't cure the mental part of overeating which for me is an addiction. I wish you all the best in your journey regardless of what you decide.

[PdxMan 4,292]

Wow ...

Do I really want to get married?

Do I really want to get divorced?

Do I really want to spend $XX thousand dollars on a new home?

These and many more life altering decisions can ultimately only be answered by yourself. I think it is very unfair to yourself to put it out on an internet forum like this. Now, I understand the need to just put it out there so you can read it to help you mull it over, but take everyone's response with a grain of salt.

I needed to take responsibility for my morbidly obese life and I had to make the decision to make a fundamental change with my relationship with food. I turned to the sleeve to get help to do this. I made this decision. At some point in this journey, it has been my experience from reading the boards for 3 years, that almost everyone at some point has the, "OMG, WTF did I just do to my body! This is an irreversible procedure and my life is RUINED!!"

The quickest way for me to get out of this stinking thinking was to remember that this was MY decision to make a change in my life and I was committed to see this through. If a person has the ability to blame someone or something else for their predicament, then I believe it will be even more so to climb out of the abyss of self-pity.

Only you know your history. Only you know your demons as it relates to whether or not you abused food. Don't let anyone else make this decision for you. Talk to your doctors and even a therapist if you are struggling with this decision. Guess what answer an alcoholic would receive if they walked into a bar and asked if they should have a drink? You'll get the same kind of answers here. Of course we all think VSG is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but we all have arrived at this decision on our own, and so must you.

Good luck. Keep reading and asking questions. PM me if you have a direct question.

Edited December 5, 2013 by PdxMan

[tiredmama 137]

Thanks, everyone. Lots to think about. For me the primary issue is fear of the surgery itself and possible complications. I have a young son with significant special needs who will likely need lifetime support- I want to invest in my ability to be there for him for many years to come but he also really needs me now and I am worried about my ability to care for him after surgery- if it was just a week or so I could rely on others but I know complications can happen and some people are put of commission for longer than they anticipated. I know no one else can decide for me- it just helps me to put my thoughts into writing and hear others' perspectives.

[NothingUpMySleeve 244]

I am scheduled for 12/12 and I am still grappling with the decision. I have 2 preschoolers and I'm torn between wanting to be slimmer and more energetic as a mother, and being terrified that I'll die or become disabled, etc.

I don't think I've ever spent so much time and research on a decision. There just is no easy answer and the lack of very long term data is rough. Ultimately, though, I keep moving forward because my risk of diabetes or even more weight gain is much higher than the risk of surgery. Sometimes I just wish the answer would magically appear!!

I wish I'd know about this surgery before I had kids--I'd have done it without a second thought. All we can do is research and reflect and hope we choose correctly. Good luck!

[gosherrie 2]

I am in the beginning stages of my pre-op requirements, my biggest fear is a fear of failure. I am afraid that I will not be able to follow the post-op diet. I am an emotional eater, and a night time eater. I need to lose weight to remain on a kidney transplant list. Any advice?

[PdxMan 4,292]

I can only speak for myself and for me, I knew that if I didn't lose the weight, I was going to die. I was pre-diabetic and my Dr was going to put me on all kinds of medications for my weight related issues (high blood pressure, cholesterol ...) These were going to ravage my body as I continued my lifestyle of abusing food. I had been successful on many diets in the years past, but I was not successful at maintaining that lifestyle.

I abused food on many levels. Food was a reward and a crutch. I would plan my next meal while eating my current meal. Snacks (meals to other people) were just a staple part of my day. If I continued like this, my two young children would not have much of a father even if I was able to be kept alive through the miracles of medicine. Afterall, how many morbidly obese old people do you see?

I had to make a permanent change. The way my head can spin things, I could easily negotiate myself and my doctor into removing a band so I could go back to abusing food. Comparing the complications and long term issues between sleeve and bypass, I preferred the sleeve. NothingUpMySleeve, you say the long term data is rough ... hmmm ... how much history do you believe to be enough? There was enough to convince me, but everyone has different. Remember, the sleeve has been around for over 20 years.

Myself, I am coming up on two and half years and I have absolutely no regrets. I was self-pay ($10,400 in Las Vegas) and it has been worth every penny of it. I am able to do things I never have been able to do before. The restriction is still excellent and I can eat anything and everything I want, just smaller quantities. I, too, was fearful this wouldn't work as I think most people have those moments. We have struggled with every other attempt, so why wouldn't this be different?

Because 85% of your stomach is removed ... that's why.

Early out, you don't have a choice but to be compliant. In this time, I faced a lot of my demons with food as I could no longer abuse food the way I used to. When depressed, I couldn't get the same satisfaction as I did before. Sure, there was a bit of mourning that occurred, but I had to find other ways of coping. Mostly, this has changed to dealing with my issues in life more head-on, which, has been one of the hidden blessings of this journey. I would like to think I am a better person today inside as well as being a slimmer person outside.

But, as I mention, this is a life altering decision. The risks are there. But don't we take risks everyday? Over 49,000 people die each year in car accidents, so, should I stay away from all cars? Sure, accidents happen ... people do die ... but the mortality rate is so low, it was a risk I was willing to take because I knew without the surgery, my time here was limited anyway.

[tigermom12 34]

This is just my opinion so you can take it for what it's worth. I haven't been sleeved yet. I am scheduled for 12/17. I have been on every diet possible and have a whole library of diet books. I have struggled for about 12 years now and it's really taken a toll on my self esteem. Yes...this is major surgery. Yes....there are possible complications. BUT.....I'm going into thinking....woo hoo! I'm getting a chance to comletely change my life and I'm excited! I'm going into it being positive and knowing that I'm going to be just fine. I say go for it! Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

[gosherrie 2]

Thanks for giving me some great new ways of thinking about getting vsg. What have I got to lose (except weight) I've tried all forms of dieting and also have a whole library of diet books, I am going to look at this as a tool to help me completely change my life! I still have awhile before I can schedule my procedure, this will give me a chance to change my thinking about food. Thanks for the support, I needed it!