The Uncomfortable Truth....

[2goldengirl 2,076]

@@Madam Reverie (and all the others who have contributed), thank you for raising these deeper questions. I'm brand new to this board and my sleeve journey. I'm seeking a sleeve to repair the damage that decades of yo-yo dieting have made to my metabolism. I'd like my appetite to match my metabolsim.

But the larger journey is the things that I put in my head, not the things I put in my mouth. It's taken me two days to read through all these posts and it has been time well spent. I applaud you all for your courage in facing down your demons. Having my own, I know that the process is lifelong. It's good to have your company.

[newmebithebypass 713]

I kinda want to add to this thread. My childhood was bad growing up there was abuse of all types by my step mother and a random family friend my dad let live with us. (Yes if you're wondering sexual abuse) and when I lived with my step mother I was locked in my room for months at a time and the only time I was allowed out of my room was to go to the bathroom and to eat. So I learned that if I eat a whole bunch and then made my self sick I could stay out of my room. Vicious cycle. Also they caught on to this and started timing my meals and after a certain time would take the food away. So when everyone was asleep at night I would binge eat candy chips soda hot pockets TV dinners and since I was locked in my room all year no exercise. I think the binging at night was a control thing because I had no control over anything else nothing not even the cloths I wore. When my dad and the step mother broke up the sexual abuse started and so I figured if I got really fat no one would touch me like that ever again. It has taken some time and soul searching but I've stopped blaming my self for the abuse but I really need to change my habbits

[bellabloom 2,467]

We are made to feel guilty about putting the blame on other people, but sometimes the fault does lay in others. Wether intentional or not, your mother impacted your relationship with food to the negative.

I LOVE my mother. She is my best friend. But as a child she put me on diets and she has criticized my weight one way or another my entire life. She is very concerned with her own weight and looks and that kind of attitude can be very influential to children. We need our parents to give us support and unconditional love and sometimes in trying to help us they actually hurt us.

I think the proper thing to do is to explore the issue, accept that what happened happened, forgive, and move forward. You can't do anything about the past but you can choose to overcome these scars and build a healthy relationship with yourself from here on out. Overweight people tend to be very hard and self critical, feel guilty about their weaknesses and need perfection. It's time to forgive her, forgive yourself, and move into a new chapter.

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

Glad you found my post thought provoking. It's a tough journey this one and never fails to challenge me on a daily basis.

The food devil is still there, despite the surgery. I know now, that the surgery, although it helped, didn't cure the core reason for my being big...

And now I can eat more - never helpful!

Consequently I'm back for a bit of perspective to get the weight i've put back on - off!