The Uncomfortable Truth....

[sophiepants 489]

Ladies I'm so sorry to hear about your brothers and sisters!!

I too hand out hugs!!

I'm not sure I fully understand the passing of a sibling I'm not sure I would be sane if I lost my sister! She is 16 months older than I. She is also a 14 year Marine Corp Vet who did 5 tours to Iraq and Afgan. There was more scares there than I want to remember. Two that gave me nightmares for years!

At ages 2 and 4 my sister father and I lost our mother. To a senseless brutal murder. I do not have any memory of my mother. My sister started to have her memories fade as time passed. I have pain in my heart and actions that make up my life. It had a huge impact on my as a whole. I can talk about it openly but deep down I point blank wish I had had a mother growing up.

Our dad never remarried. He didn't want to bring women in and out of our lives to confuse us. That and I'm sure our mother was the only one for him. That worked out well for me. I am a one man kinda gal. My sister has found that she has a commitment fobia cant seem to settle down and will run.

Umm not sure why I vomited that on you all. Anywho ((HUGS)) to all

[No game 14,437]

Ladies I'm so sorry to hear about your brothers and sisters!! I too hand out hugs!! I'm not sure I fully understand the passing of a sibling I'm not sure I would be sane if I lost my sister! She is 16 months older than I. She is also a 14 year Marine Corp Vet who did 5 tours to Iraq and Afgan. There was more scares there than I want to remember. Two that gave me nightmares for years! At ages 2 and 4 my sister father and I lost our mother. To a senseless brutal murder. I do not have any memory of my mother. My sister started to have her memories fade as time passed. I have pain in my heart and actions that make up my life. It had a huge impact on my as a whole. I can talk about it openly but deep down I point blank wish I had had a mother growing up. Our dad never remarried. He didn't want to bring women in and out of our lives to confuse us. That and I'm sure our mother was the only one for him. That worked out well for me. I am a one man kinda gal. My sister has found that she has a commitment fobia cant seem to settle down and will run. Umm not sure why I vomited that on you all. Anywho ((HUGS)) to all

It must be very hard for little girls to grow up with a mom gone she sounds like she must of been a good mom and wife the short time you had her. It also sounds like your father loved her very much..

[sophiepants 489]

Everyone says she was always so proud of here two little girls. Always smiling and showing us off.

I really didn't know any different growing up until I was about 9 or 10 then someone brought it up that is seemed weird that our dad raised us and no woman was around. Me I that mmm weird never thought of it like that. It had always been the three of us. No weird to us. But in the 80' it wasn't common for a man to raise 2 girls alone.

My dad is the best. He always worked so hard to be able to give us what we wanted and needed. He did the best he could providing for us and tryn to deal with his loss also. We moved a lot and I mean a lot!! He had to move where the work was. I would never change anything in my life....well cept having my mom and not being such an assed hole teenager to my dad...

[No game 14,437]

Being an assED holed teenager shows that you cared and felt safe with him..

At least that's what I tell myself when my 17 year old is acting that way

[sophiepants 489]

lmao yes yes all true!! She will say sorry after they kick her butt in R.O T.C lol....or if she joins the military. So time some where she will repent!! you be ready

[No game 14,437]

lol she's going to boot camp in June. Im going to waiting for that phone call you know the one.. "I love you" "I'm sorry" "you were so nice" oh and "get me the fucked outta here!!"

Edited December 6, 2013 by laura-ven

[sophiepants 489]

She will feel your loss!! lol what branch is she thinking of joining?

My sister was a Marine Drill Instructor also... She rules

[CrazyJaney 775]

I'm pre-op (hoping for Feb or March). Each day I'm on this site I realize I was NEVER really alone in what it was like to be me. I'm 45 and so tired of living this life. I'm scared to do this. I'm even more scared not too. And what I realize now, after visiting this site daily for the last couple weeks, is that I'm still going to struggle, still occasionally going to fail, and still wrestle with the demons that helped me to my CW of 325#. I don't have the words to say how helpful this thread has been. Im responsible for my outcomes. But I definitely got this way for a multitude of reasons. I don't want to live this way any longer but I think the pain of tackling the "why's" has been my biggest deterrent, until now. I'm so glad to be here amongst you. Someone mentioned Pandora's Box. That's exactly how I feel. And it's not gonna be pretty at first. But it's a box that needs to open if I'm ever going to be the me I want to be. And I'm immediately going to speak French: "I have anger", "I have hunger". Brilliant! Thank you all so much. Especially RJ. You are a living, breathing, beautiful miracle.

[No game 14,437]

She will feel your loss!! lol what branch is she thinking of joining? My sister was a Marine Drill Instructor also... She rules

Army.. She was really set on the army for some reason.

[No game 14,437]

Welcome aboard jensnewjourney!

[mistysj 1,940]

Don't know where else to put this. RIP Nelson Mandela

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nelson_Mandela

[crowsnestmama 240]

Laura-Ven....any idea idea who slipped me happy pills? Lol!

I was lying here talking to my hubby and realized...I'm happy. It's so weird, I didn't even know what to name it it's been so long.

I know that it's got to be part of the emotional purge of this thread. So once again...thanks everybody!!!

[chris1142 148]

I'm an old newbie. I've been lurking here for a couple of months, but now that I've got a definate go for the surgery on Feb. 3 I thought I'd like to get my feet wet.

I'm 71 years old and have been fighting the battle for 55 years. I am not tired of the fight but I am sooooo tired of losing. I think this may be a solution for me. I've been thinking about why I eat and for me I think at my age it doesn't so much matter any more. I know I am a food addict, and that I am a binge eater and large portion eater. I have spent 5 years in pretty intensive therapy and lots of time contemplating the "why" of it and could never figure it out. I did however work out a lot of issues that left me pretty happy with my circumstances.

My story is pretty much your story. Different circumstances but same results. I lost large amounts of weight several times over the years, but the only thing that really worked for me was OA. I lost 180 pounds and kept it off for tive years but it required a minimum of a meeting a day and immersing myself in the program. When I found that I wanted to live life, too and backed off and branched out the weight gradually crept back on. I don't want to spend my remaining years in a wheel chair and miserable because of my obesity. This is my last best effort at losing it and I think it can work for me.

I am planning on using this site as my support group because I am an hour and a time zone away from the nearest support group and don't want to be driving the highway in the dark. I already feel like I know some of you and admire all of you for your courage and perseverence.

Chris

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

Ladies I'm so sorry to hear about your brothers and sisters!!

I too hand out hugs!!

I'm not sure I fully understand the passing of a sibling I'm not sure I would be sane if I lost my sister! She is 16 months older than I. She is also a 14 year Marine Corp Vet who did 5 tours to Iraq and Afgan. There was more scares there than I want to remember. Two that gave me nightmares for years!

At ages 2 and 4 my sister father and I lost our mother. To a senseless brutal murder. I do not have any memory of my mother. My sister started to have her memories fade as time passed. I have pain in my heart and actions that make up my life. It had a huge impact on my as a whole. I can talk about it openly but deep down I point blank wish I had had a mother growing up.

Our dad never remarried. He didn't want to bring women in and out of our lives to confuse us. That and I'm sure our mother was the only one for him. That worked out well for me. I am a one man kinda gal. My sister has found that she has a commitment fobia cant seem to settle down and will run.

Umm not sure why I vomited that on you all. Anywho ((HUGS)) to all

I can't imagine what that would be like to lose a loving mother at such a young age. To grow up in a home with only a father to deal with all the changes a girl goes through...yikes! He must be some kind of special person to realize that you girls would need him so much and be there to take it all on...Bet there were times he really wanted to pull his hair out..lol

But seriously, that is very sad and I am sorry that happened and you have missed a special relationship with a caring mother..Thank you for sharing....

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I'm pre-op (hoping for Feb or March). Each day I'm on this site I realize I was NEVER really alone in what it was like to be me. I'm 45 and so tired of living this life. I'm scared to do this. I'm even more scared not too. And what I realize now, after visiting this site daily for the last couple weeks, is that I'm still going to struggle, still occasionally going to fail, and still wrestle with the demons that helped me to my CW of 325#. I don't have the words to say how helpful this thread has been. Im responsible for my outcomes. But I definitely got this way for a multitude of reasons. I don't want to live this way any longer but I think the pain of tackling the "why's" has been my biggest deterrent, until now. I'm so glad to be here amongst you. Someone mentioned Pandora's Box. That's exactly how I feel. And it's not gonna be pretty at first. But it's a box that needs to open if I'm ever going to be the me I want to be. And I'm immediately going to speak French: "I have anger", "I have hunger". Brilliant! Thank you all so much. Especially RJ. You are a living, breathing, beautiful miracle.

When I saw my name at the bottom of your post my eyes filled up with tears that flowed freely....Yes this is the time to start to live again. To fight and be renewed in spirit and health....

Please don't look at it as I will fail at times..All of it is a part of the journey. The ups downs, screaming, the whys it is all for the good of who you are inside.....I have fought this fight for a long time and still struggle with my demons and I am so proud of you for knowing you have a huge fight ahead of you..

We will be here if and when you need us to sound off on and be there to console you as well.....Thank you for your comments....Your resolve is wonderful...