The Uncomfortable Truth....

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I would love to say that I trey to keep god out of it..but she justifies everything using that....I don't know what happened to your brother..but it really hurts you to talk about him..I can feel it in your words.....I am sorry Laura...was he your only sibling? At least in my family we are all bad..all 12 of us..so she bounces from one to the other and at least shares her rage...

He took his life. I filled my hole with food. He filled his hole with drugs and alcohol. But just as we know now we could never stuff enough food to fill the hole he could never fill his hole.. He couldn't take it anymore.. He talked to her on the phone it wasn't good she wasn't nice.. The last thing she told him was you are just like me! Don't think you are any different (she feels great guilt now, she did really love him) he was found three days later..

Yes he was my only sibling. A year and a half older..

Sorry to dump. I'm an open book without much of a filter.

It's been a long day.. And I feel some what bad.

She is harmless now really..

An old lady just living out her years with her own demons.

Dam Laura....such sadness and horror...i had 1 brother who died of malnutrition, just a few months old and a sister who was tossed into her crib and bounced out and hit a rod that was in her closet..she has been in a special care home her entire life...Both of my parents blame each other for the death and of my brother and the welfare of my sister....I don't know who was really responsible for either...but the pain is tremendous sometimes when I think of them.. I did not get the chance to grow up with either of them...

So sorry Laura that I even asked.....crap....We have so much in common you and I. Not everything but some.....Cyber hug to you Laura......

[No game 14,437]

Dam Laura....such sadness and horror...i had 1 brother who died of malnutrition, just a few months old and a sister who was tossed into her crib and bounced out and hit a rod that was in her closet..she has been in a special care home her entire life...Both of my parents blame each other for the death and of my brother and the welfare of my sister....I don't know who was really responsible for either...but the pain is tremendous sometimes when I think of them.. I did not get the chance to grow up with either of them... So sorry Laura that I even asked.....crap....We have so much in common you and I. Not everything but some.....Cyber hug to you Laura......

RJ I'm sorry about your brother and sister, it sounds like you were young when this happened.

A small child should not have be witness to these types of things. T

Don't be sorry you asked.

I loved my brother very much, I don't mind talking about him at all. It doesn't make it worse for me to talk about him . I know that sounds weird...But it's true.

[No game 14,437]

Ahhh, Laura, I am so very sorry. I cannot fathom losing my brother. Sending you hugs.

I will accept your hug if you accept that you are looking good and your sister can't take a good photograph to save her life!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

Dam Laura....such sadness and horror...i had 1 brother who died of malnutrition, just a few months old and a sister who was tossed into her crib and bounced out and hit a rod that was in her closet..she has been in a special care home her entire life...Both of my parents blame each other for the death and of my brother and the welfare of my sister....I don't know who was really responsible for either...but the pain is tremendous sometimes when I think of them.. I did not get the chance to grow up with either of them... So sorry Laura that I even asked.....crap....We have so much in common you and I. Not everything but some.....Cyber hug to you Laura......

RJ I'm sorry about your brother and sister, it sounds like you were young when this happened.

A small child should not have be witness to these types of things. T

Don't be sorry you asked.

I loved my brother very much, I don't mind talking about him at all. It doesn't make it worse for me to talk about him . I know that sounds weird...But it's true.

No it is not weird to me it is just so many tragedies in life that form us and make us who we are...my children experienced none of these things and yet they think they had it bad...I told them that I would trade one day of my life...they can pick and we would switch and see if they still felt like they had a terrible life.....man kids sometimes!

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

All I can say is I'm so sorry for all the sad and trying times y'all had/are experiencing. I'm on the other end of the issue and would give anything have my mom with me again.

Dang.. now I don't know what else to say. Maybe.. hang in there?

[No game 14,437]

All I can say is I'm so sorry for all the sad and trying times y'all had/are experiencing. I'm on the other end of the issue and would give anything have my mom with me again. Dang.. now I don't know what else to say. Maybe.. hang in there?

I wish you could have her too

To lose someone you love is hard and I could only imagine losing a mom must be very hard..

It can leave an whole other type of hole, or sadness.

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

Just a note. Please dont think I don't like your comments.. I seem to be very limited at what I can do from my phone app.

[No game 14,437]

I keep coming back to this post..

I think there is really something here..

You really got me thinking!

Now that I am a little over a year out and have lost much of what I wanted to lose, I'm really struggling. I am hiding food again, and will try to bury my feelings with snacking, but the problem is - its no longer working for me. It doesn't numb my feelings or give me any pleasure anymore. The thing I don't understand about myself is - I know the snacking isn't going to work, but I keep trying to make it work. And I'm afraid that eventually I will somehow figure out a way to make it help me with my feelings again. I can't seem to figure out a alternative way of dealing with my feelings. So instead I'm trying to just sit with them, feel them, and see if that works. But that is such a sucky feeling! I've got to keep working the problem, and I'm not sure how.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

All I can say is I'm so sorry for all the sad and trying times y'all had/are experiencing. I'm on the other end of the issue and would give anything have my mom with me again.

Dang.. now I don't know what else to say. Maybe.. hang in there?

It is not natural to have someone you love die or otherwise we would have no problem excepting it as part of life and moving on..But that is not the case..When we love someone it is an empty place never to be filled completely by others....I am jealous that you had that relationship with your mom...that is the right kind that every girl or boy should experience...it is nice to know that there are ones out there that did have an incredible relationship with there parents...

[ReDbEaN 654]

I will accept your hug if you accept that you are looking good and your sister can't take a good photograph to save her life!

Haha Yessum. I am one fine looking gal! WOOOT WOOOT!!! :-P

[LipstickLady 25,682]

All right, ladies. LINE UP. I am squeezing allll of you until your eyes pop out, you poop staples, and the great straw/cheating on your pre-op diet/drinking with meals debate is resolved.

[ReDbEaN 654]

All right, ladies. LINE UP. I am squeezing allll of you until your eyes pop out, you poop staples, and the great straw/cheating on your pre-op diet/drinking with meals debate is resolved.

Now THATS what I'm talking about!!! Group hug!!! Love me some hugs!!!

[Idlewood4 93]

I'm just jumping on the bandwagon in this post, hadn't seen it before now. It's real. I've had a lifetime of obesity, and at age 57 blame no one but myself and my genes!. I have never lost all the weight (unless you are counting the 30 carbs a day diet when I was in my early 20s) I have seen numerous therapists and never really gotten to the root of what makes me eat.. I know I eat when I'm bored, I eat in the car, I eat too quickly, too much, and too many fats and useless carbs. Bottom line is that I'm f*cked up about food, and you really can't avoid it. Foods on tv, the radio, the paper, the internet, magazines. You go into just about any store and there is junk food everywhere. We had a Japanese exchange student a few years ago who was amazed that every aisle of the grocery store is full of sweets. It's true, they are everywhere, you can't avoid them. The sleeve is one more tool I'll put in my arsenal to try to get to a healthy weight. I'm like obesity's poster child, if you can have a health condition due to being fat, I probably have it. I lost 60 pounds with a band, and kept it off, but the band slipped and I had to have it removed. I saw my health conditions improve with that loss. I am trying to work on mindfulness, really focusing on the moment on all areas of my life, not just eating. Am I going to be thrilled with every pound I lose? Yes. But that is not going to solve my other issues. Bottom line, I can drop dead after being a miserable invalid due to obesity related causes, or I can work to be healthier. Could I lose weight and get hit by a truck? Sure, there are no guarantees in life. Sorry for the ramble, but I did want to share my story, and to add that each and everyone of you have helped me by sharing yours. The sleeve isn't the winning lottery ticket or the magic obesity cure. It takes a lot of work to succeed. I'm on day 11 of my liquid diet, and can't wait for my surgery on Monday.

[Stacy_wls 135]

This is a great post. I am really struggling through figuring out my food issues right now. Reading this is helping me see how I am not alone.

I am having my surgery on the 12th, so one week from today I will be recovering . If it was as easy as losing weight I would be so happy. I have done that before but it always comes back.

I had a rough pysch eval. She brought up that I might not be a good candidate for this surgery because of my emotional eating. I was really frustrated with her because I was like uhhh... That is why I need this surgery. But I Have been reflecting on it and working with my therapist more to to really try and tackle the underlying issues along with my physical need to lose weight.

I have been going to my therapist once a week but also started going to OA. I am not religious, but no hoping to find some kind of spirituality to help me.

I have accepted that my parents are alcoholics and have been my entire life. But I'm not really sure how it all equates to my weight issues. My sister and brother had weight issues but both conquered them in their 20s. They both drink and smoke a lot of weed, so maybe they have just chosen a different drug.

It is nice to see so many people who have faced similar issues and have come to a better understanding of the causes. I am still working on it, and very hopeful for success and happiness.

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

I don't need a hug. A hug is for losers.......

I, shall steal 5 million hugs instead. HUZZAH!