My Mum

[musiclover 61]

My mum lost my dad 4 years ago and had been adapting to living alone and finding it very hard actually.

She used to be very careful about her flood intake and was always watching her weight now she lives for food and has gradually been gaining weight. She's only 5'1 so even putting on the 30 or so pounds she's gained really shows and now she breathes really heavy going upstairs and her general health has declined. She's now 73 and has developed asthma and lately if she goes on any long walks she becomes bowel incontinent!

I'm so worried about her. She's watched me lose weight and cut down my food intake since my surgery and now she jokes that she's picked up where I left off.

She's now paying large health bills to have her incontinence investigated as its horrible for her but I wonder if her weight gain might have something to do with it? I'm also now paying to have her house cleaned as she's stopped doing it and with a little dog it needs to be done! It's so sad. I can't suggest this surgery to her she often says she lives for her meals now what a sad situation.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

Some people never get over the loss of a loved one and then has to needs to find solace in something to make the pain tolerable. She has introduced food into her life as her comfort..

I don't know what kind of relationship you have with her but I can tell you care about her deeply..What you might be able to do is get her moving...change it up for her...After the investigation into her bowels is done and if she is fine...Encourage her to volunteer at a hospital or another place that could use her love...

There is a very good chance that she feels like she really has no reason to worry about anything anymore...

I remember when my children moved from home I had a meltdown. food was my comfort then! I felt I lost every reason I existed for and I had no place left in life....It is a very painful thing to go through....

I am so sorry for her pain....Life can really be difficult sometimes..It is not for the faint of heart!!!!

[mistysj 1,940]

It sounds like she is depressed and lonely. Some communities have services where the elderly can talk to a counselor and/or get involved in some social activities such as a walking group, book club, craft club, or gardening group. I wonder if your mum would be open to any of these. It doesn't sound like the food is a problem but it is a symptom. At any rate, I really feel for your mum and for you. What a tough situation. I wonder if you could go with her to her next doctor appointment and have a word with her doctor.

[TheRealMeIsHere! 863]

I agree with mistysj, she may be depressed and self-medicating with food. What are some interests/hobbies that she used to do. Maybe you can do them with her. Definitely sounds like counseling could help.