Still In A Coma!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

A year ago I was still in a coma today....Went in on the 12th of Nov. and I would still be in it at this time last year...I missed my 35 anniversary last year and this year I am having troubles dealing with what happened to me at this time...So we did not Celebrate our 36th..

I realize just how long 19 days can be that I missed in my life....How when I came out of the hospital everyone around me had changed and gone on like their lives did not stop......

I have come a long way that is true but I found out yesterday that my lungs have developed pneumonia and my Alveolar are shut down and now I am on some very strong antibiotics and the treat of being put back in the hospital for a couple of weeks.....

Will this ever end and I can get on with my new life and finish my goal? I am starting to wonder whats next!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

I am so sorry you are struggling with these setbacks.....Hopefully the antibiotics help in which they typically do and you will get back on track with your wl journey......

[No game 14,437]

I know this next setback must be hard on you.. I often wonder how compromised our bodies were carrying around all that extra weight.. I mean we can see the ravages on the outside and lots of us were on meds.. But beyond that our whole body was under constant strain of having to function carrying around 100's of extra pounds... Our surgeons are operating on less than healthy people. It was only a matter of time for all of us morbidly obese people... I know that these "setbacks" (i put it that way because a coma is a little more than just a setback) suck but I have faith that you will come out the other end of this a healthier person overall

[McButterpants 2,846]

RJ,

Your journey has been like no other that I've heard about. In your writing to people in this forum, you are always respectful and you provide a unique perspective. You are a valued member of this community.

I'm sorry to hear about your most recent setback. That has to be frustrating for you. I am sorry you're going thru this, but you will get thru it.

Sending you best wishes for a speedy recovery! Keep on fightin', sweetie.

[Hidden from view 159]

Get well soon!

[magtart 603]

I am so sorry to hear about this. You have great strength and courage to overcome everything thrown your way. I know you will triumph once again. Stay strong!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I know this next setback must be hard on you.. I often wonder how compromised our bodies were carrying around all that extra weight.. I mean we can see the ravages on the outside and lots of us were on meds.. But beyond that our whole body was under constant strain of having to function carrying around 100's of extra pounds... Our surgeons are operating on less than healthy people. It was only a matter of time for all of us morbidly obese people... I know that these "setbacks" (i put it that way because a coma is a little more than just a setback) suck but I have faith that you will come out the other end of this a healthier person overall

I had no real health issues except a back injury that kept me almost immobile. Yes we all have issues and we all deal as I will too....I just get really frustrated sometimes because on here I read about everyone's huge successes...And the fact that everyone gets to build themselves up to the point of exercising and shaping up and feeling wonderful....Me I am still struggling with the illnesses that got me after the surgery....

I hope with all my heart that no one experiences what I have gone through this past year and a half.....I really dislike these setbacks!!!!!!!!!!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

RJ,

Your journey has been like no other that I've heard about. In your writing to people in this forum, you are always respectful and you provide a unique perspective. You are a valued member of this community.

I'm sorry to hear about your most recent setback. That has to be frustrating for you. I am sorry you're going thru this, but you will get thru it.

Sending you best wishes for a speedy recovery! Keep on fightin', sweetie.

Thank you, you are so encouraging to me to understand where I am coming from when I do talk on this forum....I see it despite everything a miracle and a privilege to have had this done...Sometimes it just gets frustrating when they threaten another hospital stay...The last one was 5 months...been there done that...I just want to fly now and get where I want to go..I know you understand that somehow...

[Indigo1991 1,612]

RJ, wish there was a button to push to show support. This is tough on you and I don't really have an answer.

But having read your posts and your story in recent months, it's clear you have come a long way because you are a fighter. Yes, sometimes even fighters think "what now?" and "will it ever end?" but once you have drawn breath, you will go back to kicking ass. As you get better, you will get back on track and reach your goal. Nothing surer... as with every bad time in life, this too will pass, even if that's a bit slower than you would like :-)

At the risk of sounding slightly flaky in Buddhist philosophy, there is a belief that we only are given the amount of suffering we can cope with. If we reach the "will this ever end?" moment, it's because we have been given a little extra to save someone else pain because they cant cope in the way we can. That has made some of my bad times a bit easier to bear. Or I might just be deluding myself :-)

Good luck, we are all rooting for you.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

RJ, wish there was a button to push to show support. This is tough on you and I don't really have an answer.

But having read your posts and your story in recent months, it's clear you have come a long way because you are a fighter. Yes, sometimes even fighters think "what now?" and "will it ever end?" but once you have drawn breath, you will go back to kicking ass. As you get better, you will get back on track and reach your goal. Nothing surer... as with every bad time in life, this too will pass, even if that's a bit slower than you would like :-)

At the risk of sounding slightly flaky in Buddhist philosophy, there is a belief that we only are given the amount of suffering we can cope with. If we reach the "will this ever end?" moment, it's because we have been given a little extra to save someone else pain because they cant cope in the way we can. That has made some of my bad times a bit easier to bear. Or I might just be deluding myself :-)

Good luck, we are all rooting for you.

I understand the theory....god does not test you beyond what you can handle...I would just like to have a small break..last week it was another issue that I am facing...Around the middle of Dec. I have to have a surgery which I am not looking forward to...One thing after another and I know I am ranting...Somehow it does not matter what I have accomplished this day...I feel like I have resistance to every step of the way....So disheartening sometimes you know!!!!

Don't worry though like you have all said this too will pass...I just pray I have the inner strength to keep fighting and living as each night mare unfolds....Now I am being dramatic...oops!

[Sydney Susan 333]

It's not uncommon these days for people who have major health issues - short or long term - to be diagnosed with Post traumatic stress disorder. I think that complete sense of dislocation from everyone else goes a long way to explaining that. It's profound.

Your op reminded me of the day my father died, in 1983. I was 22 and living at home as still at Uni. My father had a heart attack early in the morning, as we were all getting ready for work, school and Uni. I did CPR until the ambulance arrived and then travelled with him to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead. I still recall vividly my brother driving me back home through morning peak hour traffic - me still in my nightie, watching in disbelief as the world continued without hesitation. That's a very small experience c/w you awakening after 19 days to find people had been traumatised but had also moved on to an extent... like a glimpse at a world without you. Yet 30 years later, I was in that car, remembering the early morning winter daylight and my anger and disbelief. These experiences are immensely powerful.

I think the answer is that it takes a long time to recover, you do but there will always be feelings that can be evoked very quickly. A little counselling will help, I'm sure. As will time.

Good luck.

[Indigo1991 1,612]

Not dramatic, just telling it like it is. And I get the need for you to get one break, even a small one, to stop the cycle of one thing after another wearing you down.

As for having the strength to keep fighting, you have already shown you have deep reserves. What you need now is get them replenished. A break would help but your friends on this site will give you support and let you rant and rave to your heart's delight if that's what it takes to keep you strong.

Without saying too much, I have been where you are and have said "enough, no more, I can't be expected to take this". But the next day came, I got up and fought til exhausted, went to bed, cried, then the day after came when I didn't want it to, but I got up and fought til exhausted, cried - and I did this day after day until it got easier. And it did get easier... hang in there.

Onwards and upwards x

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

It's not uncommon these days for people who have major health issues - short or long term - to be diagnosed with Post traumatic stress disorder. I think that complete sense of dislocation from everyone else goes a long way to explaining that. It's profound.

Your op reminded me of the day my father died, in 1983. I was 22 and living at home as still at Uni. My father had a heart attack early in the morning, as we were all getting ready for work, school and Uni. I did CPR until the ambulance arrived and then travelled with him to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead. I still recall vividly my brother driving me back home through morning peak hour traffic - me still in my nightie, watching in disbelief as the world continued without hesitation. That's a very small experience c/w you awakening after 19 days to find people had been traumatised but had also moved on to an extent... like a glimpse at a world without you. Yet 30 years later, I was in that car, remembering the early morning winter daylight and my anger and disbelief. These experiences are immensely powerful.

I think the answer is that it takes a long time to recover, you do but there will always be feelings that can be evoked very quickly. A little counselling will help, I'm sure. As will time.

Good luck.

Thank you for sharing your experience with me...I am touched by your kindness.....

I suffer from chronic depression and have for 14 years now......So as soon as you think you are ahead of the game something else takes you down again....the knowledge that everyone kept going on with their lives affected my family more then me at that time...My hubby still talks about a year later how the world never stopped when he almost lost me...

I meant that the people in my life changed, those I thought were my family and friends forgot about me and did not even send me a card or flowers or even, even send my hubby a small meal to help him as he drove 1 1/2 hours back and forth to the hospital every single day....I am having trouble dealing with those people as well who were so wrapped up in there own lives they did not help me or mine when I was in need.....

I was always there for them and now it is being all brought back to my mind and my heart hurts...I never realized how alone I was or am in my world and have been trying so hard to deal with the changes...

People who I thought would always be there and saw me as a friend abandoned me and mine...I can't go past that and forgive them...I can't...I have to let it all go I know but it is like it is all coming back up in my face and hurting me so much.....So many things happened that I can not understand.....I have not spent time with any of them after I came home because of how things went down.....some are now trying to return to our friendship now that I am out of the worst of it....But I will not ever let them.......

Every day I look at my differences that I have made and the strength that I have had to bring from deep inside and wonder why....What made them all forget about me when I was in the hospital?...What could my family have done to be not helped or even given a second thought.....It is so much pain and right now it is all back in my face...It is like I am reliving it......

Sorry for the venting....I have had years of therapy to help me with all my issues....I can no longer look to others for help..I have to find it within myself....I will do that and get a balance on all of it.......I promise!

[Sassy Pants1 186]

RJ, I am so sorry to hear of your latest setback. This, sadly, is another bump in the road of your journey.

You always show amazing strength, kindness and grace on these boards. I am quite sure this is how you live your live out there in the real world as well. Sending blessings your way.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

Not dramatic, just telling it like it is. And I get the need for you to get one break, even a small one, to stop the cycle of one thing after another wearing you down.

As for having the strength to keep fighting, you have already shown you have deep reserves. What you need now is get them replenished. A break would help but your friends on this site will give you support and let you rant and rave to your heart's delight if that's what it takes to keep you strong.

Without saying too much, I have been where you are and have said "enough, no more, I can't be expected to take this". But the next day came, I got up and fought til exhausted, went to bed, cried, then the day after came when I didn't want it to, but I got up and fought til exhausted, cried - and I did this day after day until it got easier. And it did get easier... hang in there.

Onwards and upwards x

Thank you for your encouragement!