Please Help Me Wrap My Head Around This...

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I snorted over the peach comment, so true, although at least a peach is roundish, I've got shriveled gourds and my gut ... bloodhound jowels! D:

[ReDbEaN 654]

I snorted over the peach comment, so true, although at least a peach is roundish, I've got shriveled gourds and my gut ... bloodhound jowels! D:

All I can think of is the cartoon bloodhound "Droopy"!!!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

pretty much! Even with industrial strength Shapewear I have a hanging gut

[Heyher 581]

To date, I've lost 91 pounds. At a smidge under 5'3", I've gone from a tight size 20 to a comfy size 12 pants, from a 2x (42DDD) top to a L (36D). I weighed 263.4 at my highest, I am 172.2 as of this morning. I still have 23.2 pounds to go to my personal goal but that's a number I just picked out of my ass, with absolutely no idea what that's going to look like or where I really want to end up. I'm just realizing what a delusional fat person I was before. I could look at myself in my bathroom mirror thinking I looked good. I had my "skinny" days quite often where I went out with my head held high thinking no one could possibly see how morbidly obese I was. At the same time, I always tucked myself in the back of pictures if I wasn't offering to take them. As one of the shorter people, that was no easy task as everyone tried to shove me up front. (As if they could move THIS mountain! HA!) The result from this is that I have very few pictures to compare my current body size to. Now, my head is telling me that I am "normal" sized. I am no longer the largest size in the store. I am no longer the largest person in the room anywhere I go. When I go shopping with friends who I've always considered average in stature, I am in their size or one smaller. I can pick up clothes and think that there is no fuckeding way that my assed will fit in that and it does. I am not skinny by any stretch of the imagination but I do think that I am fit. I am no longer afraid of a fitness class. I am no longer afraid of a day of hiking in the apple orchards. I am no longer afraid of a marathon day in hot weather at the park with the kids and the dog. I can easily jog in place for 45 minutes while I teach a kickboxing class joining in seamlessly whenever I care to without losing my breath. I am willing to try new exercises not caring what I look like and no longer making the excuse that I am uncoordinated so I can't possible try. All that said... I CAN'T SEE IT. I JUST CAN'T SEE IT!!! I am in constant doubt that I really am normal sized. I am in constant doubt that I am not still the big girl. I look at pictures of myself and while I know in my head I look better, all I can actually see is my fat thighs and the roll that's still apparent around my belly. I used to be able to pick up an article of clothing and know if it would fit and now I am terrified of being disappointed because it's too small because I am so unaware of my body size.I am constantly trying to compare myself to everyone around me, not because I want to tear them down and make myself feel better but because I want to see what everyone else sees. I am dying to ask everyone around me what size they wear, how much they weigh, if I can take a picture next to them so I can compare. I restrain myself, but it's hard. It's really really hard. You know how when you hear yourself on a recording, it's bizarre because that's not what you sound like in your head? You know how you can't hear your own accent? That's how I feel about my appearance. I can't see it. I am not fishing for compliments. I am not asking for reassurance because intellectually I know I am getting there. I just want to know when my self awareness will catch up with my actual being. ARGH!!!!! HELP ME!

Down from 250 to 163 in 10 months. I see myself and all I see is my pooch in my belly that refuses to go away. Makes me worry how bad it will be after kids. Anywho wish I could see it when people say how tiny I am. I started in size 20 jeans and wore size 7 today. I look at pics and I am in denial about how big I really was. Now that I'm the size I always thought I looked like, all I see is my bigger self....

[Georgia 2,908]

Over time, your brain "somewhat" catches up! . At 3 1/2 years, I still tend to buy too big clothes or look at something and say, "that will NEVER fit" only to find it's too big! Our poor brains can't "see" ourselves at reality!

[carstanger 346]

I'm 5ft 2in and had my surgery in Nov 2012. Will be 77 next week! My highest weight was 225.5 and am at goal now130. Dr. St it based on Bmi . Want to lose a few more pounds so I'm at goal on his scale when I'm dressed! LOL! Now to be able to keep it off.

I was wearing 22/24 jeans and 10pm in jeans and 8p in pants depending on style. When I look in the mirror I see my Mom who passed away this spring at 88. Trying to get away from that!!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Think of it as a gift Carol, getting to see her with you, in you.

[HoosierGirl 780]

Wonderful...there is a name for what I have? Dysmorphia? Lovely.

Never felt "obese" before and I certainly don't feel "skinny" now. I can obviously notice my physical changes if I look at this picture....but otherwise, I am still the "same person" in my mind.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

yeah well from your pictures you started out where I am right now, after 3 years of work!

[scootergirl 118]

Hey Lipstick Lady. Sorry to hear you are mentally out of step with your new body. I feel silly asking you this after all the great posts your thread started but....have you kept track of your measurements? Few of my family or friends have remarked about my physical shrinkage. I would be miffed and discouraged except for my blessed "log 'o inches" which I started about a month post surgery. For me, numbers don't lie. Even if I feel unchanged, I CANT still be huge with all those inches gone.

[CBT 450]

In a way, I think what's really helped me is sharing clothes with my girl friends. I know how I see them. So when they give me clothes that fit I have to adjust my self view.

I also had a plastics consult today and the surgeon said she thinks it is very difficult for WLS patients to see their change if they haven't had hanging skin removed. Somehow we still see ourselves as fat because were there were rolls there's folds, flaps, hanging skin.

How's it going now? It's been a couple months. I do agree that the mind needs time to catch up with the body changes. There's quite a bit of research to support this.

[crickee 85]

The PA at my surgeons office said the hardest thing to change was how you visualize yourself. I am now a loose size 10 almost size 8 and deal with the body image issue a lot. I work at a school so I am constantly in the public eye. The moms who are very fit constantly compliment me on being small. I know that technically I am small, but I don't feel it in my head. I thought that this far out my internal perception would be changing faster. This seems to be the biggest hurdle to face from people I know who have been through a major weightloss as we have. I just wish I could change it a little faster, LOL!!!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Do you have a full length mirror in your house? I take the time to check myself out- get a reality check on my size and how I look. I don't always see it, but it does help me believe.

[EarthyGoalie 253]

I am goin through the same exact thing. Last week, I actually told my mom I lost 68lbs when it was really 78. Not on purpose. It's just that my brain is still a few steps behind. I have some small size clothes I bought when I was bigger for motivation and I realized I was scared to try them on because I thought they still wouldn't fit. Last night I decided to get over my fear and see how much more fat I need to lose to fit in them, so I tried them on, AND THEY WERE TOO BIG! My jaw dropped and I feel confused almost.... My brain still tells me I'm fat and subconsciously, I find that I have still been avoiding pictures. I wish someone could just rewire my brain lol.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

You know, there is a flip side to all of this, people in our lives who refuse to accept that we have lost a lot of weight. My Mother INSISTS on buying me clothes and bras that are the absolutely wrong size. Does she think I am lying about my size? Is she hoping I am still fat? Example: I am a 34 DDD bra and she insists on buying me 38DD. 38!! I finally had to tell her Mom - the last time I was a 38 I was over 200 lbs! I wear a size 10 trousers! WTF!