Please Help Me Wrap My Head Around This...

[feedyoureye 3,087]

When I had lost quite a bit of weight, my husband would point at someone and say "She looks like you" "She is your size (but she has bigger boobs)" I never asked him to do it, but it was really good for me, Lots of times I would not believe him... but then, I would accept it, because I was in no shape to know what size I was! I also see pics of myself when I was fat,and I can't believe that girl was me. I feel sorry for her.... I definitely have a disconnect. I like to see myself in pics next to someone I know for comparison.

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

I went to a ceremony in a new dress two days ago. I had my hair done (badly, which wasn't helped by the rain) and despite feeling awful inside, everyone said I looked 'beautiful'.

I was told by my much younger peers 'You win best dress and best cleavage of the day'

I saw the photos today. I was in tears. I looked bloody awful and couldn't reconcile the changes in my body weight, with the look of my body and the look of my face. I looked awful and I knew it.

Should have been elated I'm now in a size 16 (US 12/14). What I saw looking back at me in the photos was a worn, puffy-eyed and bloated-stomached mess.

I spent the youth of my life being grossly overweight and I feel like I've missed my 'best' days.

How's that for some serious dysmorphia? I share your pain, Lady x

[sanks51 214]

I went to a ceremony in a new dress two days ago. I had my hair done (badly, which wasn't helped by the rain) and despite feeling awful inside, everyone said I looked 'beautiful'.

I was told by my much younger peers 'You win best dress and best cleavage of the day'

I saw the photos today. I was in tears. I looked bloody awful and couldn't reconcile the changes in my body weight, with the look of my body and the look of my face. I looked awful and I knew it.

Should have been elated I'm now in a size 16 (US 12/14). What I saw looking back at me in the photos was a worn, puffy-eyed and bloated-stomached mess.

I spent the youth of my life being grossly overweight and I feel like I've missed my 'best' days.

How's that for some serious dysmorphia? I share your pain, Lady x

Not cool ;(

[caroline2 89]

I'm just a week post-op. I was always small (4,6,8). It's been in the last 15 years that I have gained weight. I'm 5'3". Highest weight 263, I think. I never really think of myself as being fat until I'm hit in the face with it. Huffing and puffing, tying shoes, people looking at me and most of all when I see a photo of myself. I literally have a hard time believing that photo is of me. Very strange and sad. Congrats on your weight loss.

[Molly3 495]

WOW & thank you LL for posting this! This has truly been a trippy experience for me, my brain has yet to catch up with my body. I have lost 67lbs & can't really see it even when I put on smaller clothes!? It's like I'm looking in a Funhouse mirror & all I see is my big self!

Thank you everyone for sharing, this has been an eye opener for me!

[Arts137 1,811]

I went to a ceremony in a new dress two days ago. I had my hair done (badly, which wasn't helped by the rain) and despite feeling awful inside, everyone said I looked 'beautiful'.

I was told by my much younger peers 'You win best dress and best cleavage of the day'

I saw the photos today. I was in tears. I looked bloody awful and couldn't reconcile the changes in my body weight, with the look of my body and the look of my face. I looked awful and I knew it.

Should have been elated I'm now in a size 16 (US 12/14). What I saw looking back at me in the photos was a worn, puffy-eyed and bloated-stomached mess.

I spent the youth of my life being grossly overweight and I feel like I've missed my 'best' days.

How's that for some serious dysmorphia? I share your pain, Lady x

Darling dear, our lives and weight loss may be complicated by (in my case at least) ages,

I I still have a lotta life in me.

So do you.

And thinner will help.

What do do with our freakin fat brains is another freakin matter. Pleople say "man you look good", rather than say thanks, I often say, well, I see myself naked...

[aliekat55 157]

I am in the same boat with you. I am smaller than i was in 7th grade! and only now am I beginning to see myself as small. I find it easier to see it in a picture of myself dressed in clothes that i would not have normally worn ( case in point- halloween costume) So there was no old 'tape' for the brain to put in the place of reality. this is now the fight of our lives.

I have on advantage in that i see patients all day long and when i get a man about my height I look at his weight and then reset my brain by noting that i am either bigger or smaller than the person in front of me. almost always smaller these days. my brain responds by "no f--- way!" but i keep trying.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

Lipstick, I could have written that. At my heaviest, there were days I saw myself as looking pretty good, and deluded myself into thinking others would see that I looked good with makeup/hair/clothes rather than my huge obese body. When I looked in the mirror, I saw myself 20 years younger and about 80 pounds lighter. I wore a 26 pants and 2X top. Now, I'm in a size 12 pants and M top, and while I don't see myself as big as I was before, I do see myself as fat.I think I still see myself as about 50 pounds heavier than I am....but not 20 years younger anymore, lol. I guess the truth is, I am still fat! My BMI puts me just barely in the overweight category. Others tell me I look like a "normal mom" and logically I know that's true, but I still don't have a good sense of my size. My clothes all look too small on the hanger, yet they fit. Sometimes when I put on those small clothes, I feel thin. Strange phenomenon, like I'm talking out both sides of my mouth!

[MichiganChic 3,262]

Yeah, some days I look in the mirror and see a fattie. And that's after over a year and a half at my goal weight, which puts me at a 21.8 BMI.

I found it helpful to look at myself in a three way mirror, or in multiple reflections so I'm not staring at myself head on. I had to learn to walk more erect, (my weight had kinda hunched me), walk and sit with my thighs closer together and my arms closer to my side. Also, to realize I could fit down an aisle even if someone ekes was in it. I'm in a small top and size 6 pants. They still look too small to me.

Lynda

Linda, I noticed the same thing. I am having to consciously walk differently. I find myself hunched over, and also walking like a man with my legs apart! The building I work in has floor to ceiling windows, and I can always see my reflection, so I get lots of practice walking more ladylike. It's shocking the way obesity alters our brains and bodies. I'm also surprised at the small places I can fit in, like behind chairs, in occupied aisles, small spaces in restaurants, in the chair with dog sitting NEXT to me instead of ON me. I recognize it and enjoy every time it happens, but it just seems like a dream

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Lipstick, I could have written that. At my heaviest, there were days I saw myself as looking pretty good, and deluded myself into thinking others would see that I looked good with makeup/hair/clothes rather than my huge obese body. When I looked in the mirror, I saw myself 20 years younger and about 80 pounds lighter. I wore a 26 pants and 2X top. Now, I'm in a size 12 pants and M top, and while I don't see myself as big as I was before, I do see myself as fat.I think I still see myself as about 50 pounds heavier than I am....but not 20 years younger anymore, lol. I guess the truth is, I am still fat! My BMI puts me just barely in the overweight category. Others tell me I look like a "normal mom" and logically I know that's true, but I still don't have a good sense of my size. My clothes all look too small on the hanger, yet they fit. Sometimes when I put on those small clothes, I feel thin. Strange phenomenon, like I'm talking out both sides of my mouth!

YES. YEYESYES.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Madam Rev.

If I could hug you, I would. xxxooo

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

this is called body dysmorphic disorder. if you find a therapist who specializes in treating eating disorders, you can get some help for it. losing weight isnt going to make it go away. you need professional help. ***hugs***

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

I went to a ceremony in a new dress two days ago. I had my hair done (badly, which wasn't helped by the rain) and despite feeling awful inside, everyone said I looked 'beautiful'.

I was told by my much younger peers 'You win best dress and best cleavage of the day'

I saw the photos today. I was in tears. I looked bloody awful and couldn't reconcile the changes in my body weight, with the look of my body and the look of my face. I looked awful and I knew it.

Should have been elated I'm now in a size 16 (US 12/14). What I saw looking back at me in the photos was a worn, puffy-eyed and bloated-stomached mess.

I spent the youth of my life being grossly overweight and I feel like I've missed my 'best' days.

How's that for some serious dysmorphia? I share your pain, Lady x

Darling dear, our lives and weight loss may be complicated by (in my case at least) ages,

I I still have a lotta life in me.

So do you.

And thinner will help.

What do do with our freakin fat brains is another freakin matter. Pleople say "man you look good", rather than say thanks, I often say, well, I see myself naked...

Okay, sounds like we all need to learn a very important lesson here. When someone says something nice to us, we need to learn what to say in response. It takes almost no preparation, no explanation…and it works better than any half-assed thing we can pull out of our fat brains.

It is...

Wait for it…..

"Thank you."

And then you stop talking. No excuses, no "Oh no I don't," no "But I'm not where I should be."

Just "Thank you."

(I've had to learn this from being a singer. Something almost always goes just a little bit wrong, in my opinion anyway. People don't notice and generally don't care. The best defense is NO defense and no defensiveness.)

[Chimera 644]

Figured out what my url pasting problem is - browser issue

I love this site - helps to see the variety of shapes and sizes.

http://www.mybodygallery.com/

And I enjoy some of these types of threads from MFP - I too am 5'3" and have about 25 lbs to goal - some good stuff here - and realistically how long it takes folks who have 30 to lose - to lose it - most seem to be in the range of 5-7 months or so.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/725214-5-4-ladies-out-there-share-you-pics-please

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/803155-5-3-5-5-females-can-you-show-me-your-transformation

[Chimera 644]

wow - that is nuts... lol