Holy Freakout Batman!

[GotItDoneInHarlem 302]

Today, for the first time in this journey, I stopped and thought, "Wait. What the h*ll are you about to do to yourself? You can't possibly do this to yourself. You're going to make yourself sick or possibly worse. Life will never be the same. You can't do this. You aren't strong enough."

It was a choking fear and all I could do was ride the wave of anxiety. I'm used to pushing though feelings of not being good enough and not deserving to be healthy or happier, but damn......

This was the first time I have felt like this and I know it has a lot to do with just having been approved and scheduled for surgery. It's in 3 weeks!

I know it's very common to have these feelings before AND after surgery, but that was intense.

Can you guys help out with some advice? Words of support? Some "My only regret is not doing it sooner" stories.

Am I doomed to be depressed post-op if I'm this scared now?

[Beach Lover 1,084]

Relax.............This is totally normal just as you said. I too had the same feelings. Now I am 5 months post op and the only thing I wished was that I had done it sooner. Think of all the positive threads you have read and how grateful people are for having done this. It is an adjustment but not something you can't do. You can do this and be very successful. I was a size 22/24 and now I wear a large and shop off the racks of any store I want to go to. My blood pressure is now 100/66 and I feel terrific. Hang in there..........You got this!!

[hannarbrts 2]

I'm also pre op (surgery tomorrow) and am so fearful I almost backed out completely. I know from these stories it will be worth it. Or at least... I'm hoping.

[McButterpants 2,846]

I had my surgery on 11/14/13.

I had similar "OMG" moments prior to surgery and was always able to talk myself off the ledge. I always went back to the reasons why I was doing this and that brought me back to being OK. One time I went so far as to list the pro's and con's on paper. Be prepared - they may come back more frequently as you get closer to your date.

I almost backed out of surgery the day before. I was having some serious, "What the hell are you doing" moments. Once I went to the doctor's office for their mandatory meetings and I was surrounded by others that were going thru the procedure (including my patient coordinator) I felt better. The next morning at 6:00 am I sat in admitting, truly thinking, "I can walk out of here right now. I'll only be out $500." Then I thought of my mom. She's severely obese, diabetic, has heart issues, blah blah blah - I can see down that path...it's going to be me if I don't do something about this now. So I CHOSE to go thru with the surgery.

After the surgery, for about 3 days, I thought again, "What the hell did you do to yourself?" It was miserable. We would drive down the road and all I could think about was all the places I couldn't go to eat. It was depressing..."I'll never eat that again." "I wish I could have a Krispy Kreme." Total pity party. (I think it didn't help that I felt crappy during this time as well.) Then about Day 4, I snapped out of it. Probably correlated with me feeling human again. I actually started to look forward to things. Trying different kinds of foods that are within the boundaries of the sleeve. Taking walks was fun, not laborious like they were before. I had a completely different outlook.

Today, 1.5 weeks out from surgery, I have not misgivings or second thoughts. Do I wish I could drink a whole cup of coffee before it gets ice cold? Sure. Do I wish I could finish my 2 tablespoons of cottage cheese in under 15 minutes? Absolutely. I need to find some patience somewhere. But, the 11 pounds I've lost since surgery and the way I feel today is all worth it. (I only wish I could poo on a regular basis - that is really annoying!).

So, in summary - you're going to have those "Oh, crap!" moments. Be honest with yourself. If this is what you want to do, then do it. You will know what the right decision is for you.

I wish you luck, Harlem. This is a long journey!

[Numenow 32]

Absolutely not! U are NOT doomed to be depressed! You are doing this, because you have struggled a long time, trying to solve your obesity issues on your own. I am 5 days post op and am so thankful that I had this opportunity in my life to FINALLY Live and be happy with my life! NO COLD FEET ALLOWED!

numenow

[Seela 1,187]

Hi I'm 5 weeks out and I can tell you I truly do wish I had done this sooner. I'm only 32lbs down but already I can do things I haven't been able to do in years. I feel great and I look great too. I'm already not so embarrassed to just venture out of my house. It's the best decision I've made for myself in a really long time. Good luck

[MissKatt 26]

Today, for the first time in this journey, I stopped and thought, "Wait. What the h*ll are you about to do to yourself? You can't possibly do this to yourself. You're going to make yourself sick or possibly worse. Life will never be the same. You can't do this. You aren't strong enough."

It was a choking fear and all I could do was ride the wave of anxiety. I'm used to pushing though feelings of not being good enough and not deserving to be healthy or happier, but damn......

This was the first time I have felt like this and I know it has a lot to do with just having been approved and scheduled for surgery. It's in 3 weeks!

I know it's very common to have these feelings before AND after surgery, but that was intense.

Can you guys help out with some advice? Words of support? Some "My only regret is not doing it sooner" stories.

Am I doomed to be depressed post-op if I'm this scared now?

This is exactly how I've been feeling the past few days. I'm sad that it comes down to this. I feel like I'm insane for "mutilating" (A previous hematologist told me this once) my body in order for me to successfully lose weight. It has been a long process for me so far, and I've got 8 days to go. I guess I will be riding that huge wave of anxiety with ya! Surfs up

[joatsaint 2,814]

I think you're just going through the same phase we all go through.

Today, for the first time in this journey, I stopped and thought, "Wait. What the h*ll are you about to do to yourself? You can't possibly do this to yourself. You're going to make yourself sick or possibly worse. Life will never be the same. You can't do this. You aren't strong enough."

It was a choking fear and all I could do was ride the wave of anxiety. I'm used to pushing though feelings of not being good enough and not deserving to be healthy or happier, but damn......

This was the first time I have felt like this and I know it has a lot to do with just having been approved and scheduled for surgery. It's in 3 weeks!

I know it's very common to have these feelings before AND after surgery, but that was intense.

Can you guys help out with some advice? Words of support? Some "My only regret is not doing it sooner" stories.

Am I doomed to be depressed post-op if I'm this scared now?

[FibroDiva 60]

You must stay focused on why you are having the surgery, to get healthy. I had my pre op fears also. When that little voice started talking to me telling me why I should back out, I thought about passing out on a crowded street leaving my 5 year old granddaughter screaming and fearful. I thought about having 2 mini strokes within 2 months.

I am happy now and I must admit it feels really good when my daughter says, "ah, mom you're looking better than me now-a-days".

[livvsmum 2,369]

Totally normal, like you said! I remember distinctly having a very similar freak-out once all my insurance requirements were met and the co-insurance was paid.... Kind of like a "no turning back now" kind of moment. Luckily I had been keeping a blog since I began my journey back in January and I went back to my weight loss bucket list post and reminded myself of all the reasons I wanted the surgery - things I wanted to do - be able to do - and ways I wanted to feel, etc. That got me through that moment.

As for now I can honestly, 100% tell you that though emotionally the first couple of weeks were hard, I have never for one single moment regretted my decision and life gets more "new normal" every single day. Hang in there! If you are confident in the reasons you chose this in the first place, then you will pull through and won't regret it!

[VSG AJH 499]

I'm also pre op (surgery tomorrow) and am so fearful I almost backed out completely. I know from these stories it will be worth it. Or at least... I'm hoping.

Your surgery date was yesterday. How are you?

[hannarbrts 2]

I'm staying in the hospital an extra night. Everything has gone well, not too much pain, no complications, etc. I'm just having a very hard time reaching the recommended ounces of Water and they don't want me to become dehydrated if I go home too soon. Every time I take a drink, I experience terrible gas pains.

Thanks for asking! So far, no regrets, just a few bumps in the road.

[is it just me 80]

I'm staying in the hospital an extra night. Everything has gone well, not too much pain, no complications, etc. I'm just having a very hard time reaching the recommended ounces of Water and they don't want me to become dehydrated if I go home too soon. Every time I take a drink, I experience terrible gas pains. Thanks for asking! So far, no regrets, just a few bumps in the road.

That's great............. Try and make urself burp maybe after u drink............