Love Love Love This! For All Of Us On Weight Loss Journeys No Matter Your Surgery Type. A Must Read.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

http://myfriendteresablog.com/so-youre-feeling-too-fat-to-be-photographed/

So you’re feeling too fat to be photographed . . .

Listen. I hear you. You’re a few pounds heavier than you like (or a 100lbs heavier than you like). I completely understand how you feel. I get that same blah feeling about myself when I think about booking new head shots or long overdue pictures of me and Justin. Precious, I even picked a career that has me permanently behind the camera rather than in front of it. Seeing myself in pictures actually produces the faintest sick feeling in my stomach. Isn’t it amazing we can see the beauty in our best friends, sisters, mothers, and aunts without the slightest thought to their flaws . . . but can obsess for hours on our own imperfections? We fixate on our flaws to the point we shirk at any documentation that our round faces and curvy bodies ever walked the earth. No pictures to show how we LOVE, how we laugh, how we are treasured by our families. How is it possible that a double chin can overpower the beauty of a mother cuddling her child? How does arm fat distract from the perfect shot of a spontaneous hug? I swear y’all . . . how is it that we can put more value on a TUMMY ROLL than the captivating way you throw yourself into a roar of laughter during a shoot?

In our warped minds pictures become frozen mirrors that we can stare at as we pick apart our features over and over again.

I know girl. I know.

My personal duck-and-cover (or signature “make a funny face”) approach to having pictures of myself changed completely when I had a serious car accident last year (and started over). In the flash of a second (or a flash of the text message the young woman was reading) my entire life changed. I nearly left this earth with no physical evidence of the goofy, wide open and loud love I have for my life, my husband, my family and friends. I haven’t had professional pictures done since our wedding in 2006 . . . always waiting for this elusive moment where I would be thin enough (pretty enough) to have such a permanent record of me. Because, you know, HEAVEN FORBID there be any proof that I look the way I actually look.

So here is the harsh truth y’all. Listen good. Our vanity is no longer enough of a reason to avoid the camera. Life doesn’t wait until you “get thin” enough to capture it. Life is happening . . . it is happening right now and the only moment we are guaranteed is the one we are living. I shudder at the thought of leaving behind no pictures of my life with ME in it. My mom says of the accident she is “just glad that we’re still a whole family.” My gift to her this Christmas was a family portrait showing just that, 9 months post-accident . . . a whole family.

Do you know what my mom sees when she looks at this picture? Her beautiful family all together.
Do you know what my husband sees? The family he gained the moment he met me (and how much he looks like my dad…)

Do you know what my dad sees? The happy family he has worked for every day of his life.
Do you know what my brother sees? That he got away with wearing shorts…

Shocker: No one is looking at how fat I look.

Can we agree to put the value of family over the value of fat? Can we just accept that the weight you’ve been trying to lose for 5 years might actually just be a part of what you look like . . . and that if this magical day does come when you’re acceptably thin you’ll STILL regret not having any pictures of you with your kids from ages 5 – 10? Can we acknowledge that the insecurities we have in our heads will never be a part of how our children, husbands, and friends see us? Can we just please let our loved ones remember the YOU they love?

Your children want pictures with their mom.

Your husband wants pictures with his beautiful wife.

Your mom and dad want pictures of the happy, successful, amazing woman they raised (ok, and more pictures of the grandkids while you’re at it)

And if you’re thinking that high school friend on Facebook will say to herself (“wow she has gained weight”) then . . . newsflash you DID. You gained weight. Shed a tear. Read a book. Drink a Sweet Tea. Watch Oprah. Whatever it takes. Accept this reality . . . YOU GAINED WEIGHT. The truth is you’ve gained a lot of other things too (a career, a family, some kids, a house, a love for travel, the ability to coordinate your separetes . . . ) and that girl from high school is going to spend a lot more time hating on those things then she ever will on your double chin.

So you’re feeling too fat to be photographed? . . . Ok. But you’re the only one who notices. The rest of us are too caught up in loving you.

[Indigo1991 1,612]

LL, glad I found this post ... realise that I have no pics of large swathes of my life and that makes me very sad.

None with my son at the various stages of his life other than the very early obligatory new mummy poses. None with my ex husband beyond our wedding pics. None with my wider family. None with my friends, some of whom are no longer here. None capturing any of the exciting or unique things I have done in life. All because I couldn't bear to see my fat self in a pic....

I probably have had more pics taken in the last 3 months than I have had in the last 20+ years. Can't capture the past but I hope I can start to record life now with the people I love and who love me, irrespective of the odd bingo wing

Thought provoking blog, thanks for sharing.

[Ladybandito 516]

Nice post. And so very, very true. Everyone should read this.

[gramamush 0]

Thank you for this wonderful look at reality. How many beautiful moments do we have to lose in our lives before we actually accept these facts and love the life that has been given to us? Yes, maybe we've made the choices that have positioned us in the negative area we live in, but we also have the ability to get to where you've so graciously pointed out. Very insightful, thanks again.

[Blessed_RN 1]

Love this. It is so true. Thanks for sharing.

[Branmuffin 190]

The teenagers in my family are always taking "selfies" and recording themselves! My daughter alone has over 300 photos on her phone of herself! I used to argue with her and worry that she was putting too much importance on her looks and thought later in life it could affect the person that she is to become as well as is now. In Sept my 16 year old niece took her own life. My SIL is like me, never takes pictures because of the shame it invokes and now she has barely any photos with my niece. She said it best when she said," I'm so thankful for all the selfies that she (my niece) took. If it weren't for them we wouldn't have these memories." My attitude since then has changed drastically. I want to be in the pictures now, as me, how I am today as well as through my weightloss journey. One day pictures will hold the memories of loved ones. I may not cherish myself and like the way that I look, but I'm a good mom, friend, sister and daughter and someone else may want to have my picture no matter what my size.

[daniellefay 3]

What an amazing post, thank you for that. I completely connected to the high school friends looking at my picture part and you really opened my eyes to what is important in life and how we easily forgot it. Thank you thank you thank you

[7 Bites_Jen 479]

Love, love, LOVE this post!!! And how true!! Thank you for sharing this - it's put a lot into perspective for me today!

[iamsoworthit 430]

The teenagers in my family are always taking "selfies" and recording themselves! My daughter alone has over 300 photos on her phone of herself! I used to argue with her and worry that she was putting too much importance on her looks and thought later in life it could affect the person that she is to become as well as is now. In Sept my 16 year old niece took her own life. My SIL is like me, never takes pictures because of the shame it invokes and now she has barely any photos with my niece. She said it best when she said," I'm so thankful for all the selfies that she (my niece) took. If it weren't for them we wouldn't have these memories." My attitude since then has changed drastically. I want to be in the pictures now, as me, how I am today as well as through my weightloss journey. One day pictures will hold the memories of loved ones. I may not cherish myself and like the way that I look, but I'm a good mom, friend, sister and daughter and someone else may want to have my picture no matter what my size.

I love this. Thank you! You are exactly right we need to be happy with ourselves wherever we are. Healthy approach indeed!!!